Maria says: June 20, 2015 at 5:38 am
Hi, I am a Christian and I am engaged to the love of my life who is converting to become a Christian. His family is very supportive and loves me like their own daughter. My parents on the other hand are very strict and it took them a long hard time to accept, but they are slowly coming along.
I just have one concern that I really would love to get some advice and opinions on. He has a Hindu last name. I really don’t want to take his last name due to it’s Hindu meaning, however i am willing to compromise and hyphen the name. I have a very strong faith so this would be a huge sacrifice, but he has made so many sacrifices for me. I don’t want my kinds to have a hindu last name and I really don’t know how to plead my case to him because that is the last name he has had all his life. Also when the kids don’t hold the last name of the father, he feels it looks bad on him. Any advice and opinions would be great and I’m so glad I found this website.
Thank you and take care 🙂 -Maria
Maria says: June 21, 2015 at 7:15 pm
Thanks for the response! His parents don’t have a strict faith, his mum goes to church sometimes. I don’t expect my in laws to give up their faith at all. And my fiance was never a practicing Hindu, he found his way to Christ through his best friend initially and then through me. Conversion to him means believing in God and Jesus and attending mass and raising our children in a Christian home. Before we got involved we discussed all of these issues and my strong faith. We attend church together and we pray at night together, he believes 100% in Christianity. I would never want him to do anything he didnt want to and I know the topic of name change is difficult for him because that’ s been his last name since birth, however it isn’t a Christian name and that’s where the difficulty lays. Thanks. -Maria
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Thanks for the response! His parents don’t have a strict faith, his mum goes to church sometimes. I don’t expect my in laws to give up their faith at all. And my fiance was never a practicing Hindu, he found his way to Christ through his best friend initially and then through me. Conversion to him means believing in God and Jesus and attending mass and raising our children in a Christian home. Before we got involved we discussed all of these issues and my strong faith. We attend church together and we pray at night together, he believes 100% in Christianity. I would never want him to do anything he didnt want to and I know the topic of name change is difficult for him because that’ s been his last name since birth, however it isn’t a Christian name and that’s where the difficulty lays.
Thanks
Maria,
Can you put with his last name for your children? How much it is going to bother you? What would you do if he shows some hope you will accept his last name, along with your last name? Would you not respect his wishes?
We trust you that you have understood him well. However, let us point some characteristics of Hindus that sometimes Christians and Muslims may misunderstand. Hindus are absolutely pluralist. For them, along with their 1 million Gods, Jesus and Allah are God(s). They will not have any reservation coming to your church, take a baptism dip in water and accept Jesus for their life. However, for them it is one more God to pray. They will not have reservation adding a God, however when you ask them to remove their God(s), that is where they will get offended/alarmed.
Be honest and tell him that you believe Lord Krishna and Rama are fake Gods. Further tell him (if you believe so) that only Jesus saves while all non-Baptized Hindus (including Gandhi) will go to hell on the Judgment Day. Let us know what he says.
Read our this article and let us know what you will put with and what will be absolutely no, no for you?
Maria,
Thank you for reaching out here, especially you reached here before it is too late (just engaged). Remember that religions are deep rooted. Religion may not mean anything to you or him at age 22 but at 52, both will go back to your roots. Considering high divorce rates (more than 50%?), it is critical to evaluate your issues beyond names. Agree?
First congratulations for finding a man of your dream. Further that he (Hindu) is willing to convert to Christianity and your future Hindu parents-in-law have accepted you as a daughter. Wow!! You are certainly blessed. What more one could ask for?
Since he is willing to convert to Christianity and willing to do all for you, why don’t you ask him not to take his (or both) last name? Tell him that you are used to your last name and don’t want to change, and he will agree. Did you tried? What does he say?
You also don’t want yours and his children not to have his last name. That will be a tough sell. How firm are you on this point? It is better to resolve it before going too far in the relationship.
You said you have a strong (Christian) faith and have apparently allergy to the Hindu faith. Then out of 2.2 billion Christians in this world, why you found a love in a Hindu? Your in-laws see you as a daughter, are you seeing the Hindu in-laws as (Hindu?) parents? Alternatively, are you expecting them to ultimately give up their (parents) Hinduism?
There is just so much we wish to talk to you to clear your thoughts about marrying a Hindu (even converted). First tell us what conversion means to him? After conversion, is he going to be 100% Christian and 0% Hindu? Alternatively, is he converting just in name-sake but in reality he is going to be what ever he is but will have 5 minutes of baptism bath? Lets talk in details after we hear from you. Talk to you soon!