Talaq debate Tina says: July 5, 2015 at 1:26 am

We are married for 15 years. Now my husband decided for an divorce thru phone only. Then after four days i found out that he got baptized being a muslim. What can i do or our rights as his family? Please help me. -Tina

Tina says: July 6, 2015 at 6:38 am

My husband is a christian maam when we argue lasted june 20,2015 he decided to have a divorce on june 26 i found out that he baptized being a muslim in malaysia. We had a two sons ages of 13 and 11. He told me that just in case that he had an affair to another woman icant put him to a jail because he is a muslim now and he can remarry for four times because muslim religion can accept it. And he said that he will support only our two sons actually we had a conversation only thru phone because he was a seaman. What can i do? Thank you very for your moral support god bless -Tina

Mohammed says: July 11, 2015 at 10:13 am

sister. ..you have full rights to put him jail. . .

According to islam. . .if you ask does islam permits upto four wives. . .
yes. . . it does permits but within some certain conditions. . . conditions are required to marry more than one wife. ..

Allah says in the quran
in surah nisa chapter 4 verse no 3
“Marry of your choise 2’s, 3’s or 4’s but if you cannot do justice then marry only one ”

According to islam, if a man marry more than one wife he want to do justice on all wives. .

Since you have told when he marries you he was a christian.. . for you to left he has converted islam for another marriage. . .

Its strictly prohibited in islam and its also strictly prohibited in your country..

so you have full rights to sent him jail -Mohammed


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14 Comments

  • July 13, 2015 9:12 am

    Tina,

    Muslim guy cannot be trusted, as they get multiple priviliges in the islam, like oral talak, keeping 4 wives, beatng wife, testimony of male is just double to that of female. Female has no say against husband if he has extra marital affairs.

  • Tina
    July 11, 2015 6:48 am

    My family is a christian before my husband whant a divorce he had another woman already he is a seaman. we had an simple arguement lasted june 20,2015 and icant believe Why he want a divorce immidiately because at the first moment he had another woman already and found out that june 26,2015 he converted as a muslim so that just incase i will go to court i can not put him to jail because as he know it being a muslim can marry four times. Is there any justice for me and my two sons for this i want them to put in jail with his another woman for what he has done for us because for the first place we had a happy family i dont know why my husband become like that to us is that very easy for him walk away from us.
    Tina

    • July 11, 2015 3:44 pm

      Tina,
      Sorry to hear of these issues. These are common issues all over, especially traveling husbands. Normally, all over the world and in all faiths, the wife is still loving the guy or wish to stick with the man for children but many times, the husband is now looking for change.

      The excuse that you used some bad words out of frustration is not sufficient reasons to break this marriage. He is just looking for excuses to get rid of you.

      Now you have to handle this situation very delicately, like holding a wet soap in your hand. If you hold very loosely or with too much force, the soap is going to sleep out of your hands. It is only you will be able to manage the situation. Be prepared for the worst. Instead of being love-emotional, be practical. Do not loose your temple and use any bad words, but act smart.

      He has love affair with other girl, but he is not married. There is nothing you could do here legally.

      He is no more a Muslim (now Christian), thus he cannot have two wives unless he ask you for a legal divorce. He is no more a Muslims thus he cannot now tell you talaak, talaak, talaak because it is reserved only for Muslim-Muslim marriages. If he want to marry the new lady, he will have to come begging to ask you for a divorce.

      Be shrewd and make photo copies of all documents and give it to your family to keep. Also transfer all joint money to your own single name account. Drain him financially because you will need money to support your children. Threaten him for fierce legal battle for the divorce (say nicely). Also use your children as a tool to convince him to stay with you. Find out who is that girl and contact her.

      We hope he will realize that it will cost him too much money if he dump you and he will loose his children too. It is likely that he may turn around in two years. So keep all options open but act smartly.

      One side line question, so you were Christian but married to this Muslim. We assume you converted to Islam for it. By your heart, do you consider yourself Muslim or Christian?

  • Tina
    July 11, 2015 6:27 am

    Good day!
    Thank you very for your effort for continuing sending some email advices.
    Actually my husband is a seaman so he comes home every six months and its very difficult for us to settle this relationship because he is far away from me we talked only through telephone so our communication is quite often even he is online everyday but he told me not just like before now our relationship because all his from to me is gone. He wanted a divorce already but cant accept it because our marriage is already fifteen years we are together and we had two sons 13 years old and 11 years old i dont what to do now because i do still love him but for him all his love for me fade away is that easy for him thats why im so very sad and upset for that decision that he made i dont want a broken family because of my two sons is not easy i dont want them to suffer because they knew it already what happened with their daddy.

    Thats why my husband is so angry at me till now because i told him he word fucked you and bullshit i dont also i uttered thats words to him for the first time and im begging his forgiveness but he refused it instead he want a divorce already. Even my eldest son he talked to his father to asked for my forgiveness but his father could not accept it because he said its over. If you are in the position of my husband what could you do? Is that easy for you to tell me to have a divorce?

    But i kept on praying that someday he will realize and his love for me is still there. Hoping father will hear all these prayers that i kept on praying will come true.
    Thank you so much to your advices….
    God bless……

    Tina

  • July 5, 2015 8:16 am

    Hi Tina,

    This is absolutely not accepted way to respect a wife with children. Can you give us little more information. We assume you were a Muslim family and he gave you a talaak. our Islamic expert, mac, will guide about legality of the phone talaak soon. Which country are you from? For a Muslim to convert to Christianity is apostasy punishable by up to death (as per Islam). Go talk to your local imam for it. Irrespective of all these, in most countries, he will have to pay you for alimony support and child support, check with a local lawyer. Don’t let him go free, teach him a lesson!

    • Tina
      July 6, 2015 6:38 am

      My husband is a christian maam when we argue lasted june 20,2015 he decided to have a divorce on june 26 i found out that he baptized being a muslim in malaysia. We had a two sons ages of 13 and 11. He told me that just incase that he had an affair to another woman icant put him to a jail because he is a muslim now and he can remarry for four times because muslim religion can accept it . And he said that he will support only our two sons actually we had a conversation only thru phone because he was a seaman. What can i do? Thank you very for your moral support god bless

      • mac
        July 6, 2015 8:32 am

        Dear Tina, you mean your husband was muslim and converted to Christianity or do you mean he was christian converted to islam for marriage and now again reverted back to Christianity.

        • FRANKLYINDIAN
          July 6, 2015 9:38 pm

          Is he a Ping-pong Ball…? Accepting one party’s membership and again going to another party on getting huge discounts….?and then returning to the former party, for not getting the discounts?

        • Tina
          July 11, 2015 6:54 am

          Actually he was a christian and when he had another woman thats the time only that he decided to convert being a muslim because he dont want to put to jail because he said i can not put him to jail because he converted already in muslim and being a muslim can marry four times is that true i cant not put him to jail?

          Tina

          • Mohammed
            July 11, 2015 10:13 am

            sister. ..you have full rights to put him jail. . .

            According to islam. . .if you ask does islam permits upto four wives. . .
            yes. . . it does permits but within some certain conditions. . . conditions are required to marry more than one wife. ..

            Allah says in the quran
            in surah nisa chapter 4 verse no 3
            “Marry of your choise 2’s, 3’s or 4’s but if you cannot do justice then marry only one ”

            According to islam, if a man marry more than one wife he want to do justice on all wives. .

            Since you have told when he marries you he was a christian.. . for you to left he has converted islam for another marriage. . .

            Its strictly prohibited in islam and its also strictly prohibited in your country..

            so you have full rights to sent him jail

        • Tina
          July 15, 2015 8:07 am

          Ma’am my husband is Christian sinced birth and when we argued lasted June 20,2015 at that very moment he decided to have a divorce for a very simple reason but before we argued there’s something about him already because his attitude changed and I knew it that he had a girlfriend already in Singapore and then June 26,2015 he told me that he converted being a Muslim for a precautionary reason I cannot put him to jail because being a Muslim can marry 4 times as he told me is that easy for a Muslim to marry as long as he want? Is there any suggestion for me to find out in Singapore if he is married to that girl? Any action for me to do so? Do I have any rights? What can I do please give some advice .

          Thanks
          Tina

          • July 15, 2015 9:46 pm

            Now we understood (we hope) that you both were Christians but he decided to be a Muslim just to marry one additional girl. However, your marriage was as per Christian rights and thus he cannot give you Islamic talaak, talaak, talaak considering you are not a Muslim. Further, we believe, he cannot marry to another woman without your consent (mac, is this true?). Check with Singapore Marriage Bureau if they are willing to disclose facts to you. Also talk to your church priest and they may help you. Good luck!

    • Tina
      July 15, 2015 7:46 am

      Good day!
      Actually we are a Christian but my husband decided to convert into Muslim .!lasted June 20,2015 day after we had a conversation or arguments I’m shocked because of a very simple mid understanding he decided without a single thought that he want a divorce as soon as possible is very easy for him but for me I don’t want a divorce because I don’t want a broken family but on June 26,2015 I found out that he converted being a Muslim in Malaysia how can he do that tome he is a Christian because i knew it on the very first hand that he had an affair already in Singapore. He said that’s why he decided to convert to Muslim so that I can not put him to jail because Muslim can marry 4 times is that so? We are from Philippines at this moment he never contacted us through phone sinced July 8,2015 I think he marry already in Singapore is there any possibility for me to find out if it’s true that they are married already in Singapore what action can I do? Any suggestion for me or do I need to go there and ask the Muslim religion in Singapore? He was a seaman can you please help me
      Thanks tina

      • mac
        July 15, 2015 8:03 am

        Seaman are such type of people, in their lifetime, they marry three four times, it`s nothing for them.

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