Tanisha says: November 17, 2015 at 6:13 am
Hi, please help. I am Hindu (not baptized) and married to a Christian for 10years. At this point, now I wish to go back to Hinduism. However, my husband wont allow me practicing Hinduism in home and wants kids to be Christian. -Tanisha
Admin says:
Hi Tanisha,
As we understood, your married life is going okay except that along with Christianity, you also wishes to teach your children about Hinduism. This is a great idea and that is what we preach – Interfaith Marriage with equality. In the end, it is the children to decide which faith they wish to follow as adults.
We assume you live in a free country and you should have rights to teach to your children what ever as far as it is not unethical or illegal. Married life is a partnership and you are not his slave. This point, “Husband won’t allow me… xyz.. “, is not acceptable. Such irrational demands must go if you (and him) wish to be happy. Don’t put up with it.
Best in your situation is not to get into fights but get into friendly and healthy discussion with him. Your objective should be to make your husband tolerant (educated) to your faith (Hinduism) and still maintain a happy married life. We will help you step-wise how to achieve this goal. In the end, it will be a win-win for you both. Are you ready?
To help us understand your current situation, please clarify:
1) How did you get married? In church, Hindu wedding or by court only?
2) Did you sign any pre-Nup that your children will be baptized and raised as Christians? (even if yes, you ignore it)
3) Are your children baptized?
4) Are you financially stable (meaning having job or parents to fully support you)?
Also please ask him what are his concerns for children following Hinduism (remind him the mother is a Hindu) along with Christianity? Write down his 5 main points against Hinduism and tell us. We will work with you to educate him. Meantime, read below recommended articles. Best wishes. -Admin
Tanisha says: November 18, 2015 at 4:09 am
Hi- I got married in a church only, and have been going with him to church for 10 years. i signed no documents (pre-nups or anything else) the kids are not baptized, only the older one is dedicated (just a blessing ceremony).
i am financially stable i work and can support me and my kids if i have to be alone, but i do not want to leave him.
we have talked and he has agreed to the following: he will allow me to pray inside the house, as it is my house too, the kids will keep following him and he will continue to teach them and take them to church. I will not leave me for wanting to be hindu, and he will try to be more supportive and accepting. he wants me to understand this is a big thing for him, and he is still a little confused and hurt by me wanting to now go back to how i was born. But because he loves me and we will both try to make it work, he is willing to be supportive.
I phoned a hindu priest who told me I need to do a ceremony a small prayer just to initiate me back to Hinduism and he will be doing it next month. Am I on the right path?
Yes i was foolish in first place to agree to be christian, but i did not want to upset his family who was against our marriage. and i did try for a long time to make it work and to did it his way. he did make it very clear he will not marry unless in a church and i be christian too, so i am to blame yes for not standing my ground and keeping my faith as i was young and did not understand how this will impact my life years down the line. I do not want a divorce, i am happy with him we have a good life and we have kids to think about, how can i disruot my home, when maybe all is needed is a little understanding and support. thank you for taking the time to reply. -Tanisha
Admin says:
Yes, you are on a perfect path. Basically we want to see a win-win for all three (you, your husband and your children). You are not going to disturb your happy family/married life for such a silly thing. Your enemy is the church and not your husband.
Only weapon you will use is “education”. You will never get into any heated discussion or fights over God and religion with him or his family members. When someone gets mad at you, simply smile and walk away. It is going to be a 5-10 years plan educating him and we will work with you step-wise right here. Good days are waiting for you (and him).
Good that you are financially independent. Money talks! Be smart and take 100% control of your money (separate account). Assume that this marriage will end (we hope not!) one day and spend money that way today.
This is a superb news “But because he loves me and we will both try to make it work, he is willing to be supportive”, this shows that he is not a religious fanatic. His intolerant church has misguided him and it is your duty to bring him on the track of humanity and respect for all man-kind.
It is not important what religious label (Hindu or Christian) you are carrying, however it is important to win your husband’s trust. For this reason, wait to convert back to Hinduism. Conversion now without informing him will shock him and he will feel you cheated him. Instead, tell him that you will formally convert to Hinduism in April 2016, unless you could explain why not. Use this 6 months period to get into very rational arguments with him. This will also give him time to get mentally ready.
Use this “he will allow me to pray inside the house” now. This is great (thank him). Have a nice mandir in your home. Slowly start lighting diya every day. A month later add ringing bell. Later add prayers singing. …. and so on. Let your kids watch you follow Hindu practices and answer children any question they have in front of your husband. Tell your children that you are born Hindu and you are a Hindu by heart. Tell your husband that you tried the church for 10 years but do not like teachings in the church, sorry. Keep going to the church but while returning from the church ask him lots of questions on wrong teachings you heard at the church. Make him feel guilty that going to the church is a waste of time for the family.
On education points, start with these:
1) Tell your husband that you love Jesus but not your church (read). In your Mandir, add a photo of Jesus along with Krishna. Ask him what is wrong praying to Jesus a different way (with Diya)?
2) Read Bible on Hindus? Ask him to explain what kind of God wrote all these? Put him to work and challenge him with your cumulated knowledge.
3) Ask him why God could have a Son (Jesus)? Ask him why there are three forms of God (Father, Son and Holy Gost)? If God could have 3 forms, why God cannot have a form of Krishna or Goddess Laxmi or Buddha or name Allah?
4) Ask him to explain to you why the cross is not an Idol (read)? Why is he idol-worshipping?
5) Ask him how can a baby just-born carry sin? Your children are divine and there is no need to be baptized to wash their sins. Ask him if there will be a Judgment Day? Are only Baptized go to heaven while all Muslims, Jews, Jains and Hindus will go to hell? Read Gandhi.
6) Educate yourself about Hinduism because he will challenge you (view these videos)
Reminding you again, win his love. Never get into fights. Raise intelligent questions (why you cannot follow Hinduism along with respecting Jesus?). Put him on spot with new questions. Make him think, think, think. Make him uncomfortable with his church and their intolerant teachings.
Rome was not built in a day. It may take you 5 or even 10 years to educate him and your children, so have patience. Keep updating us here (minimum) every month. -Admin
Tanisha says: November 23, 2015 at 12:32 am
Dear Admin, I am very excited and at peace now with all that has happened.
in a matter of 2 days of me praying about it, he has totally changed his mind and decision.
He is now supporting me, 100%. I didnt say anything except ask him if i could go to the mandir to worship and he said no, its my house, i am more than welcome to worship.
he has also accepted my decision, that i will teach the kids both except they will be christian for now till they old enough to make a decision themselves for now they will follow the path of him, and understand what i do and what i believe. he understands why i made my decision, and he is not a fanatic, and has questions of his own on his religion so he doesnt see fit to throw it down my throat. i thank you for all help. i will keep respecting him and his religion, and hope one day he can join me in prayer with out me forcing him to or trying to convert him. -Tanisha
Tanisha says: January 18, 2016 at 5:05 am
Hi, all just to let you know.
things not going well, he allowed to the lamp and prayers at home, but since then if we even have small argument, then he picks on the religion thing.
it is driving me crazy.
we now fighting all the time, and he has made it now about religion when we used to fight about the same things before.
its been miserable.
we have now decided on divorce, and maybe its because he wont be accepting of my religion, but i think its is a lot of other reasons too, we just not happy and not getting on and the religion has added to our problems. i cant belive he is a christian and has such hatred in his heart for other religions. its making me question if i cam happy my kids growing up christian when christian is being so mean in the name of religion. -Tanisha
Tanisha says: January 21, 2016 at 1:22 am
It is hard to wait 13 years and live like this. i think he is using religion as an issue. but the religion just brought up other issues.
i have stopped lighting my lamp in the house now, as he picked on it and made it a problem, and told me it is a chirstian home. but i am working on resolving our other issues for now, he wants a seperation, so for now we will do that and see how it goes. i am ok, to live alone without him, and when he leaves i can start lighting my lamp again.
i wish young girls will be more considerate of their faith, before marrying in another religion, it is not just religion thats a problem, because if you are different religion, you are raised different also, so not only religious aspects are different but everything about an upbringing in a hindu home is different from an upbringing in a christian home.
i also was very in love 10 years ago, when i married, but love is not food for the soul, and sometime peoples differences can cause problems down the line, be it religion or the upbringing, wish all the girls thinking of this, re think!!!!!
its easier to fall in love again than it is to live with freedom of your religion. -Tanisha
Also read: Interfaith marriage with equality (Video), Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,
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Christian: I Feel Guilty to Marry Not in Front of God
Think before marriage. not after marriage.
How is my new home ?
What will my culture?
Who will my god ?
How is new relationship?
How they act with me ?
You have long time to think before marriage.
I saw many chrisitan girls cannot manage with Hindu culture,
That’s called love is blind.
Admin clearly sounds one sided, if Tanisha follow his thoughts, she will soon end-up her and husband’s family life leaving kids future in dark. I wish her to think wise and makeup a great life along with husband and kids.
Hi, all just to let you know.
things not going well, he allowed to the lamp and prayers at home, but since then if we even have small argument, then he picks on the religion thing.
it is driving me crazy.
we now fighting all the time, and he has made it now about religion when we used to fight about the same things before.
its been miserable.
we have now decided on divorce, and maybe its because he wont be accepting of my religion, but i think its is a lot of other reasons too, we just not happy and not getting on and the religion has added to our problems. i cant belive he is a christian and has such hatred in his heart for other religions. its making me question if i cam happy my kids growing up christian when christian is being so mean in the name of religion.
Tanisha,
We are very sorry to hear of this. Divorce in the name of religion is sin! We hope you maintain your marriage, so park the religion issue down for 2 months to give cooling time. It takes years to change his mind and we are hoping you will change him over next few years (not months!). However we agree that you should not put up with such irrational religious fanatic person. Are there any common friends who could mediate your issues? Also talk to his church priest and tell him if it is okay to take divorce in the name of religion? Can you put religion issue down (swallow your pride) till your child goes to college? Keep in touch!
It is hard to wait 13 years and live like this. i think he is using religion as an issue. but the religion just brought up other issues.
i have stopped lighting my lamp in the house now, as he picked on it and made it a problem, and told me it is a chirstian home. but i am working on resolving our other issues for now, he wants a seperation, so for now we will do that and see how it goes. i am ok, to live alone without him, and when he leaves i can start lighting my lamp again. i wish young girls will be more considerate of their faith, before marrying in another religion, it is not just religion thats a problem, because if you are different religion, you are raised different also , so not only religious aspects are different but everything about an upbringing in a hindu home is different from an upbraining in a christian home. i also was very in love 10 years ago, when i married, but love is not food for the soul, and sometime peoples differences can cause problems down the line, be it religion or the upbrining, wish all the girls thinking of this, re think!!!!! its easier to fall in love again than it is to live with freedom of your religion.
Tanisha,
You have given a superb message to all youths in love. We agree 100% that people in blind love do not realize what will be coming later in their life. This is the reason we have created this web site to educate youths in love. It is just too sad that couples cannot tolerate each others faith.
We hope you maintain your marriage, especially for your daughter. But we agree it is difficult to put up with such religious fanatic who is telling you “it is a chirstian home”. These guys have not learned that today’s modern girls are not going to put up with such shit.
We hope you become a spoke person (consultant) on this web site to educate youths in blind love.
Hi, I was born Hindu and fell in love with a Catholic guy. We got into a relationship which got serious overtime. Peter told me clearly beforehand that I will have to convert in order to take things to another level. I agreed as I think all religions lead to one power one god. I converted in February and already feel suffocated with the teachings of this rwligion. I am not allowed to go to temples, no hindu gods allowed at home. I still worship my god secretly. My husband and his family have no idea about it. My husband is a great guy but a staunch catholic and he gets from his mom who is taught him all this. She keeps calling him reminding that he needs to do rosary everyday and he sometimes forces me to do it. I absolutely don’t feel myself when I pray with him. I feel that religion comes from heart and should not be forced on anyone. Isn’t taking someone’s faith away and forcing your thoughts is a sin?? I want to convert back to Hinduism and have spoken with my husband couple of times and he only talks of giving me a divorce. This is my second marriage and I cannot go through a divorce putting my.parents through hell. We don’t have any children, but he wants them to grow in the Catholic faith. However I would like my children to grow with a broader outlook and not cocooned like my husband and his family. Please guide as to how I can change his outlook and make him more flexible without bitter conversations.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10863
Hi- I got married in a church, only, and have been going with him to church for 10 years. i signed no documents (pre-nups or anything else) the kids are not baptized, only the big one is dedicated, (just a blessing ceremony) i am financially stable i work and can support me and my kids if i have to alone, but i do not want to leave him.
we have talked and he has agreed to the following:he will allow me to pray inside the house, as it is my house too,the kids will keep following him and he will continue to teach them and take them to church.I will not leave me for wanting to be hindu, and he will try to be more supportive and accepting. he wants me to understand this is a big thing for him, and he is still a little confused and hurt by me wanting to now go back to how i was born.But because he loves me and we will both try to make it work, he is willing to be supportive.I phoned a hindu priest who told me I need to do a ceremony a small prayer just to initiate me back to Hinduism and he will be doing it next month.
Am I on the right path?
See above.
Dear Admin, I am very excited and at peace now with all that has happened.
in a matter of 2 days of me praying about it, he has totally changed his mind and decision.
He is now supporting me, 100%. I didnt say anything except ask him if i could go to the mandir to worship and he said no, its my house, i am more than welcome to worship.
he has also accepted my decision, that i will teach the kids both except they will be christian for now till they old enough to make a decision themselves for now they will follow the path of him, and understand what i do and what i believe. he understands why i made my decision, and he is not a fanatic, and has questions of his own on his religion so he doesnt see fit to throw it down my throat. i thank you for all help. i will keep respecting him and his religion, and hope one day he can join me in prayer with out me forcing him to or trying to convert him.
Dear Tanisha,
There are great news: “i could go to the mandir to worship”, “i am more than welcome to worship”, “i will teach the kids both”. This shows that he is not a fanatic one.
Explain us “(he) has questions of his own on his religion”?
Now you 1) continue to read all that we recommended, 2) put Jesus’ photo in your mandir along with other Devtas and pray every day. Involve your kids more and more, 3) Keep going to his church. When you find any wrong teaching, challenge him and ask him to explain why God could say so. Also involve children why such teachings make sense. 4) After 6 months, “formally” convert to Hinduism but continue going to church to learn more of their intolerant teachings. Ask you husband to join you to mandir since you are going to his church. Teach him to give up exclusivist thinking and be inclusivist (pluralist). Make sense? Keep in touch with us right here for years to come.
Foolish girls like you face such situations, without understanding pros and cons of marriage outside faith.
Before marriage non hindu boys pose very submissive,adjusting and cooperative attitude and after marriage change colors like chameleon.
Get divorced from him otherwise you will face more problems and lead a miserable life.
Yes i was foolish in first place to agree to be christian, but i did not want to upset his family who was against our marriage. and i did try for a long time to make it work and to do it his way. he did make it very clear he will not marry unless in a church and i be christian too, so i am to blame yes for not standing my ground and keeping my faith as i was young and did not understand how this will impact my life years down the line. I do not want a divorce, i am happy with him we have a good life and we have kids to think about, how can i disruot my home, when maybe all is needed is a little understanding and support. thank you for taking the time to reply.
Every one makes mistakes. Tanisha, you still have time to fix your mistake.
Human, it is not the fault of this innocent girl but the churches who are teaching intolerant teachings. If their church did not impose on her husband, probably her husband would not have impose Christianity on Tanisha. So, now Tanisha has to fight against the church (and enlighten her husband).