Hindu says: December 29, 2015 at 6:02 pm
Hi, I was born Hindu and fell in love with a Catholic guy. We got into a relationship which got serious overtime. Peter told me clearly beforehand that I will have to convert in order to take things to another level. I agreed as I think all religions lead to one power one god. I converted in February and already feel suffocated with the teachings of this religion. I am not allowed to go to temples, no hindu gods allowed at home. I still worship my god secretly. My husband and his family have no idea about it.
My husband is a great guy but a staunch catholic and he gets from his mom who is taught him all this. She keeps calling him reminding that he needs to do rosary everyday and he sometimes forces me to do it. I absolutely don’t feel myself when I pray with him. I feel that religion comes from heart and should not be forced on anyone. Isn’t taking someone’s faith away and forcing your thoughts is a sin?? I want to convert back to Hinduism and have spoken with my husband couple of times and he only talks of giving me a divorce.
This is my second marriage and I cannot go through a divorce putting my parents through hell. We don’t have any children, but he wants them to grow in the Catholic faith. However I would like my children to grow with a broader outlook and not cocooned like my husband and his family. Please guide as to how I can change his outlook and make him more flexible without bitter conversations. -Hindu
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Hi. I dont wish to intrude un your life too much but i feel that you didnt talk about everything before getting married. Im catholic as well and i love my God and my religión, but i would feel terrible if someone did to me what they are doing to you.
Do not try to dismiss his religión by asking questions that sound like attacks but instead try to learn by yourself. If you have any questions about catholicims and The whys and hows there is plenty of informaction online if its all too confusing you can allways email me and i will try to answer to The best of my ability, but most importantly know that my God would not want to be loved and praised by forcé. I think he loves you and wants your salvation but he must also understand that it is a process and he cant forcé feed it to you or you will come to hate it. This must be so dificult for you im sorry you are going through this. I hope it works out.
After you have learned everything about cathlocism, The bible, The church, The miracles, ect. You still feel like it is not for you, then talk to your husband or you will not be able to stay together for long.
We don’t live with the in laws and thankfully moving further away but unfortunately their visits are unavoidable 🙁
I will keep your valuable input in mind all the tine. My husband often pesters me to say the rosary with him and forces me learn all the prayers. How should I react to that? Do you think I should peacefully learn the prayers and participate for now?
One day you will have to also educate your MIL, let her come but focus on your husband now (but slowly and calmly).
Tell him how this Rosary praying without faith will help you or anyone? Ask him how moving beads will help God? Why moving beads is not idol-worshipping? Ask him how come God has a son? It sounds like Hindu philosophy that God could have son, mother (Holy Mother of God), wife, brother, etc, how Christianity is different? Ask him you are not a sinner so why should you say “forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell” (read Gandhi). Tell him he would be better off educating you rather than forcing you to do that you don’t understand. Ask him how moving these beads remove your sin and gain admission to heaven? Instead, how about if you go and feed hungry homeless people, is that not better option?
Again, don’t get excited and disturb him. This is his faith and you need to respect it. However, when comes to you, you have rights to ask questions (again, one question/week; meantime spend time reading more).
Rosery: Source: http://www.rosary-center.org/howto.htm#loaded
HAIL, HOLY QUEEN, Mother of Mercy, our life, our sweetness and our hope! To thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve; to thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this vale of tears. Turn then, most gracious advocate, thine eyes of mercy toward us, and after this our exile, show unto us the blessed fruit of thy womb, Jesus. O clement, O loving, O sweet Virgin Mary!
V. Pray for us, O Holy Mother of God.
R. That we may be made worthy of the promises of Christ.
Let us pray. O GOD, whose only begotten Son, by His life, death, and resurrection, has purchased for us the rewards of eternal life, grant, we beseech Thee, that meditating upon these mysteries of the Most Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, we may imitate what they contain and obtain what they promise, through the same Christ Our Lord. Amen.
After each decade say the following prayer requested by the Blessed Virgin Mary at Fatima: “O my Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those who have most need of your mercy.”
Thank you admin. We are in process of changing states and both are over burdened with the big move. I will wait for us to settle in and then I will start asking him questions on his religion. There was a point when I used to love jesus but catholicism makes him look like a selfish god which I know is not true. Religion to me means love, kindness and giving not snatching someone’s faith.
Anyways, my husband has a bit of temperament problem and like you rightly said I should not fight. While we settle in the new placs, can you please list down some logical questions. It will be helpful if you write the way you want me to question him (tone of voice) as I also tend to get impatient when he shows his fanatic side. He also may ask me from where I read the stuff. What source should I mention as he knows I am not into bible reading. Please suggest.
I look forward to working with you on this most important project of my life. Thank you for all your help and support. Hare Krishna!
Thanks,
Hindu
Dear Hindu,
It is you and only you who could solve your problem. Further, it may take years to change his mind. So it is critical for you to be cool, calm and very objective. You be a good listener and less talker. Raise lots if critical well though out questions and let him answer it over weeks. Your objective is not to upset him nor make Christianity look bad. However, you have to take him from being exclusivist to being more pluralist. You will be successful only if you give him a very slow but steady dose of pluralism over years (Rome was not built in a day). Only way you could do all these is by deep reading and educating yourself. We have tons of articles cited above, read all.
We hope you are moving away from your mother-in-law. Taking him away from his intolerant teaching sources will be a big help.
Ask him about Idol worshipping. Why praying to two pieces of wood or mother marry’s statue is not idol-worshipping while praying to Krishna is?
If you wish to know about Hinduism, view these.
Dear Hindu,
We understand you are in a difficult situation. One quick suggestion is NOT to plan for a baby. After child birth, your problems will get 10 times more. So just enjoy this life without a child, or wait for at least 2-3 more years till the dust settles down.
Hinduism is a pluralistic religion where you could say Krishna and Jesus, both, could lead to salvation/better life/nirvana, etc. However Christianity (just like Islam) is an exclusivist religion where they are taught that there is only One God and that is Christian’s only (not Allah nor Krishna nor Buddha). This talk of exclusivity is silly talk showing their ignorance. However, you are stuck with such religious fanatics and will have to deal with them. Your only weapon is EDUCATION and this web site is the best source for it.
Now work with us and keep coming back with small little discussion what you had with your husband. We will guide you how to argue with him next. Over next 2-4 years, you will start some seeing changes in him. If not, it will be a time to dump him then.
Start with him with the Bible. Read this and argue with him how it makes sense for all these bolded statements. Make sure not to get into heated discussion with him but bring up all these questions when he is in good mood. Tell him you wish to understand Christianity and help you to clarify many points. Don’t run away from Christianity and his church, but actually go more close to them. keep raising hellish questions for him (that we will help).
Get back to us for how it goes with the Bible and we will suggest more later. Bye!