LOVE verses ARRANGED marriage?
Fathima says: June 24, 2012 @ 7:03 am
Am a 21 year old muslim girl of kerala…i am in love with a hindu guy..he loves me truely but, my parents never accepts this relation..they are now in a hurry to look a perfect man for me..The guy i love have not got a good job yet..I am having a pretty good job now..am waiting for him to settle in life..i cant tell my parents..please help me with solution.
Admin says: LOVE verses ARRANGE marriage?
Fatima, it is fashionable to say LOVE marriage is better over ARRANGED marriage. Further, today’s youths think why not go though interfaith marriage if your love is true. However, interfaith marriage is no for every one. You are educated and smart, and thus should think through all possibilities before making a final decision for your life.
Shamim married to Rahul. She has her own ways of interpreting Islamic scriptures. In her case, she did not like Javed and was being forced by her parents to marry Javed against her wishes (that is wrong). We assume your parents are more considerate and not like Shamim’s parents.
You mentioned that your parents are trying to find a “perfect” man for you. Give them some time (two years?). Go talk to all men they propose. If you come across a man that you start liking him and is comparable to your current Hindu boy friend, go for him. After some times, if you come to a decision that the Hindu bf is much better over all Muslims men proposed by your parents, go for the Hindu guy.
You know that for a Muslim girl to marry a Hindu is absolutely no no. Are you ready to go against your parents, brother, sister, relatives, imams and what Koran says for Hindus? Are you familiar with the honour killing practice? Are all these issues worth facing to marry a Hindu lover?
If you are the ones who is hoping that your bf will convert to Islam by Shahadah before your Islamic Nikaah, you are nothing but a love-Jihadi. Do not ask a Hindu to convert to Islam for the heck of it! Do not try now to love-proselytize him to make him a Muslim. Those kinds of marriages involving religious conversion under lies, deceptions and love-pressure are not going to be happy on a long run. These days and age, don’t even dream like it. No BBS, please.
Are you a true pluralist? Are you really ready to marry a Hindu and be a part of a Hindu family? Are you going to be comfortable being a part of Hindu wedding ceremony where multiple idols (deities) are being worshipped? Some day, your new Hindu family will have a Satya Narayan Katha or Diwali pooja, are you going to keep at distance from those family activities? If you don’t be a part of such pooja and sit in a different room, how will you expect your Hindu relatives to respect you? Some day you will have to take your kids to a Hindu mandir to pray to multiple forms of Allah (God in Arabic), are you going to be comfortable with it? Alternatively, are you going to decline all these deity pooja and keep insisting that God is only in (the direction of) Saudi Arabia, His name is only Allah (not Isvar in Sanskrit) and further all Hindus (and Christians) are going to get Hell Fire on the Judgment Day? If you believe that all Hindus are sinners (not following Koran), why will you want to associate with them? So first make up your mind whether you want (this) or [that]. Are you ready to be like Seema, Salman and Shah Rukh Khan? Are you sure you will never turned out like Dee’s wife?
We are not pro- or against- interfaith marriages nor trying to discourage from your love marriage, but wish to help you make fully informed decision. You are only 21. Unless your parents are forcing you now to marry someone you don’t like, please give some time to think through all these issues. Later, your Hindu bf will also be working and thus will be in a strong financial position; that will help if you wish to go against your parents and community. Best wishes.
Fathima says: October 7, 2012 at 12:10 pm
Hello my well wishers, thanks for giving me advice, as per your own, perception.
My Hindu BF has got a good job in a shipping company, shore base, as a computer engineer. We both are still in touch. Perhaps crucial time has come for us to take a decision for life, being like minded, loyal and committed to each other, to grow old together and raising our own family.
I feel pure love is bond of commitment, not putting any one restrictions, respect each others sentiments including religious values. We donot want to change religion at all, as such. -Fathima.
Readers, is the LOVE or ARRANGED marriage better? Should Fathima at least give some considerations to guys her parents propose before rushing to marry a Hindu?