He (a Hindu) finds me beautiful in burqa
Mubina says: Aug 8, 2012 at 4:22 pmI also have a hindu guy in my college, who loves me, we are friends and he always asks me to be in burqa as he finds me beautiful in it. I love his respect and his true love for me. I m worried that if we are together and later want to marry what will happen. He is kind and softhearted and takes care of me very well. I don’t know what may happen if we are together. – Mubina
Hi Mubina, You have raised a great question. It is one thing to be a good lover but different being a husband (or wife).
For this discussion, lets assume he is what you have exactly described him; that is, 1) he is loving, 2) kind and softhearted, 3) wants you to be “exactly what you are”; even he is a Hindu he finds you beautiful in burqa, 4) he is a true pluralist and 5) a Hindu. Is it okay for you if he remains that way as your husband for next 80 years; never talaak (divorce) you and never marry to another (or add a second or third or forth) girl?
Most probably, being a Muslim, you may not want these described characteristics in a husband. First, for your marriage, with pressure from your community, you will want him to convert to Islam for Nikaah. 2) You will want to change his name to some Islamic name. 3) You will ask him to have a circumcision. 4) Further, after conversion, you do not want him to be a pluralist anymore, but change him to be a monotheist exclusivist believer in only One God (who can be prayed only in the direction of Saudi Arabia). Soon, he will start hearing that Hindus are sinners and you will prefer him not to associate with his parents and other Hindus. 5) You will want your kids to be only monotheist and exclusivist (only Islam is a true religion). Bottom line is, you will want him to convert to be a true Muslim; meaning convert a carnation to a rose. If you desired for a rose, why not to look for a real rose, plenty around? Unless you are a love-proselytizer, do not try to convert him to something he is not.
So, first look into yourself for who are you? Are you a real open-minded, progressive thinker and want to see this world full of respect and toleration for each other? If so, don’t (fake) convert him. Instead, marry him “exactly as he is”.
Lets assume the God is in front of you and tells you, “Mubina, for not-educated and less-intelligent people, I have provided them many tools to follow my messages; but I have made you intelligent and now you are well-educated. Use your own brain and do exactly what is right to do.” If God gaves you this freedom, what would you do?
There’s dogma and there’s life. What are you going to pick?
Mubina replied: on October 2, 2012 at 3:58 am
I have gone through your message several times and my boy friend has read and analysed critically. I find some more positive changes in his attitude. In fact for my sentimenal issues, he had said that he would like her in burqa. Now he says that he will not like it, if I married him ever.
We are in final year of professional programme and next month, we shall be getting campus placements. My parents are not against my job even if it is abroad. In principally we have agreed to be life partner only. Both of us have agreed not to change their religion like so many couples, but respect sentiments and emotions related to each other relations.
My BF is a very intelligent, sharp, compromising and belongs to a very respectable family of high bureaucrates in Govt. offices, whereas I am from a middle class business community, having business of garments. My father is old enough, but mother is very active. We are two sisters and one brother. My elder sister is married to business man from muslim community, but she is not happy. Her husband behaves like fundamentalists and hypocrites, drunker, and not attending business properly. My sister exerts to run the business including caring two kids. He needs liquer all the times with his colleagues.
My mother is worried about me and incase I too get similar life partner, what will happen. I have told my mother, that i shall find my life partner professional qualified like me. She just laughed and said God bless you. I have met my BF,s parents once but he has not met any one of my family.
Shall give further update probably next month, after getting the development of campus placements. We both are excited to get campus placements as early as possible in a multi national company. -Mubina.