Sick and tired of this sick society
Suman says: August 31, 2012 at 9:02 am
I don’t know even I’m in love with a guy who’s a Muslim. And he wants me to convert after the marriage, i was ready for this until my father found out that i was dating a Muslim guy.
My father has given me everything in my life even things which were not possible. He’s the most important and strongest person in my life. But one day he came to me and just sat in front of me before he could utter a word i saw tears rolling down his cheeks….trust me that was the most painful moment in my life…..i couldn’t believe that he’s talking to me like that….i cried too but went totally against him….started hating myself, my father for being such an orthodox….but soon i realized…it’s not about being an orthodox…it’s about being concerned about your own child who’s been the most precious one throughout your life….
I’m not against Muslim or any other religion i worship all the religions…but yes i am against the way society and relatives can light up the fire in anybody’s family…So after reading all the comments… keeping one thing in my mind that my parents are not so open-minded that they would ignore the heat from society so easily..and just because of this kind of behavior of society i can’t marry him…this makes me sick and tired of this sick society…this will take eternity to change the mind set of people living here….they’ll never grow and never even let others grow… -Suman
Sorry to hear of your story. It is very sad that you cannot marry to your love for the society. We understand your frustration and pain. Only time will tell if this is a good or bad decision.
It is clear that you are very frustrated with the society and you wish to see changes. Considering you look like an educated, intelligent and analytical person, let us take some time to critically analyze your situation.
Remember that when you point a finger at someone, there are always three other fingers at you. Before blaming your father or society, let’s see if you did you part of fact finding.
First, are you well educated and personally financially in a sound position? If you married to that guy and one night he tells you talaak, taalak, talaak; where you will go first? Your friends may keep you for a week, but in the end are you going to be back to your father? If one day, your father or brother has to potentially support you, they have rights to warn you now.
Second, when you agreed to change your religion from Hinduism to Islam for your lover, did you explored facts for what that mean to your life? Did you asked him if it will be (this) or [that]? Are you ready for all listed consequences and really want to be a true Muslim? Have you read Koran? Are you willing to proudly teach all these to your children? Alternatively, are you the one who believe in fooling others by fake-conversion? If you did not do all these homework, you are not mature to make such independent decision in life. Independence is not given; you have to earn it!
Third, did you ever wonder what religious conversion has to do with your love? Did you try to analyze that Muslim guy’s mind why he cannot tolerate what Suman is (a Hindu)? If he wants a Muslim wife, why not date a Muslim girl? Is he a love-proselytizer Sikh-meat love-Jihadi? If he cannot tolerate for who you are, why you want to tolerate his intolerance for what you are?
Forth, you mentioned that “i worship all the religions” this is beautiful. You are pluralist secular who respect people from other faiths. How about your Muslim lover? Will he come and worship Hindu Gods with you in a Hindu temple (like SRK)? If he cannot do it because there only One God (and that is only Allah in the direction of Saudi Arabia) and Hindus are idol-worshippers, why will you not question his monotheist, exclusivist supremacist thought process?
Fifth, you mentioned that “my parents are not so open-minded” what does it mean? Should they allow you to change your religion without exploring facts? Are his Muslim parents and society open-minded? You will find it out only on the day you say NO BBS (especially for children), try!
Bottom line, the core issue with the society is intolerance for each other. The religions conversion practice (BBS) for an interfaith marriage is a clear example of intolerance for the intended spouse. By converting for marriage, you are only nurturing and feeding their intolerance practices and encourage them to go and hurt many other innocent Hindu girls. So, if you want to fix the problems with the society now, go tell your lover that you will NEVER convert. Let us know his answer.