Jain…planing to marry a muslim guy
Pearl says: September 10, 2012 at 2:00 pmI m also a jain…planing to marry a muslim guy…we have been in a relationship since 3 years…and planning to be in a relationship for the next 4 years…he has not asked me to convert to his relegion…nor will he convert to mine…on the contarary….he is adamant that i should nevr change my religion..either it be him or ny1 else in the future. and moreover..i have decided not to change my surnmae after marriage..and he is perfectly fine with it…and he is completly fine with it…and regarding upbringing of children….we have decided that our children surname will be having his and my surnames…and they wont have arabic or muslim names…they will have or can have normal name…he is well educated…and me too…he has nevr forced me to do nything of his religion…On the contarry…he is willing to marry unbiasedly…under special marriage act 1954..
short and simple…love is above all religion…and never take decisions blindly…be practical too…nd take time… -Pearl
Pearl, you are lots smarter than most other girls. Absolutely agree that “…and never take decisions blindly…be practical too…nd take time…”
To your last statement, we would like to add a little……and never take decisions blindly…be practical too…nd take time……but don’t take too much time, find facts ASAP…life is too short!!
Yes, you agreed and he agreed, that is wonderful; enjoy romantic life! Wait, how are you sure that he is not a con-artist, who is telling you exactly what you want to hear? Probably he may have three other on the go Jain girls lined up, telling all of them what they want to hear; so far he is having good times!! If you are concerned (and smart), do the following:
Look, the marriage is not just between two people but two families and two communities. That is where problems will start coming from. Most problems will appear only 6 months before the planned marriage. We recommend that you meet his parents ASAP and tell your full plan ASAP. Likewise, take him to your parents. Also let two parents meet too! If you have not done this yet, you are only dreaming. These meetings will bring you back on this earth.
This is what we said for Hindu-Muslim marriage before, and simply cutting and pasting it here……..
“It is remotely possible the boy may be just out to enjoy you and keep lying to fool (and enjoy) you. Most talk of conversion comes up just 6 months before the marriage. At that time, you will hear that….
- Sorry it is my dad…,
- I did not knew this is coming…,
- just do for heck of it,
- shahadah does not mean anything,
- every one does that,…
- I will let you practice your religion even after conversion,
- I truly respect Hindus but you convert,
- why can’t you convert for our love?
- you are creating problems by not converting,
- if you convert I will marry you today,………………..
……bottom line…..CONVERT, CONVERT, CONVERT or else I am walking away.”
We don’t think this is the case for your Muslim lover, but we strongly recommend you to meet his parents and disclose your plan. Let us know how it goes. Best wishes. -Admin.
hello admin, i have met his complete family….his family knowz abt us…nd his mother has told us to have a separate lyf..bcoz she konwz i want be comfortable staying wid his family…nd he has been to my house…my mom said that he is a nice guy but d only problem is religion..he has met my sister…nd her opinion was xtremely positive..he has met my best frnd..nd he is positive too..nd 1 mre thing…i hav met all his frndz meanwhile…he is very sensitive to my needz…being a jain i cant cook nd see or smell non-veg…i m allergic to it…trust me…it wud astonish u….bt in d past 3 years of relationshp…he has nevr had non-veg infrnt of me…he is nt hardcore non vegterian…nd he has a sister who is also veg by choice…nd we r open of our relationship on social website…
I hav postd here only 4 one reason…dat even i used to b cautious of muslimz…bt aftr being with him i undrstud that every body is nt d same..der r exceptionz…nd imprtantly i wud recmment every gal that if ur partner is good…no amt of wrong religiour practices wil harm u…
and 1 more thing…he against running away nd gettng married…i wud confess that 1nce i thought of it…nd he scolded me…he doesnt wana start lyf with me wid ma parentz curses..we r young nd mature nd focusng on our career bt at the same time…planing to get officially engaged with our parentz acceptance…which wil take tym…so we r planing 4 it…
Trust me admin….dese r factz…datz it…
Pearl, you are lots smarter than most other Hindu/Jain/Sikh girls. Just to make sure, is your boy friend’s Muslim family okay you have court marriage, and no Islamic Nikaah? Is there any doubt on that point? Will he join you for Jain pooja in derasar (and you go to his darga)? Will he join you in paryusen (and you fast for ramadan)? What he has to say for idol worships and Koran on Jains?
You are on the path of Shamim, Seema, Salman and Shah Rukh Khan. However, read every things being said on this web site, it is better to learn from other’s mistakes than to make mistakes yourself. Best way to learn is to teach! Come and guide others.
Next question to you, how will you mix with his extended families? Lets assume Amir & Khan (below) are your new relatives. What would your boyfriend answers to Amir to his statement “A muslim is not allowed to marry a non-muslim.” Amir has excellent advise, “For the Jain sister..If you really want marry a muslim boy, don’t do it until you believe truth of Islam. otherwise your offsprings will become diverted from right path, since mother influence more the life of children.” … what will you tell him? Please come back to update us on your progress, best wishes. -Admin.
i wil end dis post by respnding to ur xtended queries…yes my boyfrndz family is fine wid court marriage…nd yes he has joind me in parjyshan nd visitd temples nd i hav visitd dargah too..nd regardng fast in ramadan….i hav nevr been forced to keep it…nd regardng respond to amir nd khan…he has alwayz said…dat he respects all religion…nd he wil nevr compromise on his lyf partnr..acordng to him in any religion…dere r sumthngs u think r right nd sum things u cannot logically fathom…so he has his own belif system…nd nthng is above ny human being…
Nd yes on idol worshp….he has nevr shown any prblm…he knwz dat….he is nt against it…nd i hav seen him bowng in frnt of a god i believe in…
We hav gne thru dis severat tymz…admin…i admire ur logical nd proper questions…i knw…i hav to take evry step cautiously nd inteligently…thanx admin..