Catholic Muslim marriage

Alex says: December 22, 2012 at 8:57 am
Hello Angela,

This is a very interesting website and thank you for your articles.

I am catholic christian and I have been dating a muslim for one and a half years and we want to get married for a long time now. During the relationship he has always said that its okay for the kids we’ll have to go to church with me and when they are older about 18 they can choose which religion they want- christianity or islam. I always thought this to be that he accepted they would be christians. How wrong was I about 3 days ago where he has insisted that the kids have to be muslim and that is his religion and he is not willing to compromise on that.

I felt so hurt and initially I said I wanted them to be catholic, now I’m willing to compromise that they should learn about both religions and he is absolutely refusing this and thinks I will change my mind if I love him. I have said that we need to compromise as we have different religions and the kids are half of me and half of him.

I cannot see myself changing my mind and the thought of them being muslims does not sit well with me, because firstly I dont know so much about islam apart from them praying 5 times a day, ramadan, women covering their head, the big division between men and women e.g. cannot pray next to eachother in the mosque, the men appearing very controlling,

also as a christian I would feel left out and dont see how I can fulfil my mothering duties without understanding islam, also its not even a case that I can go to the mosque and pray next to my muslim male boys. I know how very involved I need to be as a Mother, I am also concerned about the extreme rules and pressure from the wider community. To me it seems all too contrived. I am catholic but i am very liberal and like my kids to be liberal too, I dont want the girls to cover their heads and bodies (neither do i want them to walk about in too revealing clothes) but also to believe there is one God.

I just cant see any future in this relationship and also a main concern is how strongly he holds on to his faith and he is not willing to compromise to me spells further issues. I feel I have wasted my time. I met him when I was 32 , now I am 34.

What advice can you give me please.

Thanks -Alex

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Admin says:

Alex,

Can milk and yogurt mix and maintain their identity?

Before a proud Catholic and a practicing Muslim decide to date, they should come to conclusion on the question…IS JESUS A SON OF GOD OR JUST AN APOSTLE? If you both are not practicing your own faith and willing to explain your scriptures in today’s practical pluralistic sense, yes, interfaith marriage is possible.

Christians believe that Jesus is the only son of God and that faith in Jesus is the only way to achieve salvation and to enter heaven. Jesus said: “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the father except through me.” However, quite contrary to that belief, Koran teaches to have faith only in Allah. According to Koran: Jesus, the son of Mary, was no more than God’s apostle (Koran: 4:171). Allah forbids that He Himself should beget a son! (19:34). Further, those who say: “the Lord of Mercy has begotten a son” preach a monstrous falsehood (19:88). Unbelievers are those that say: “God is the Messiah, the son of Mary” (5:70) and “God is one of three” (5:72). Unbelievers will get “Hell of Fire.” Further, Allah said: believers, take neither Jews nor the Christians for your friends (5:51). So, what will your children believe in? …Koran or Bible?

Christianity and Islam are both exclusivist religions and believers are taught not to tolerate others and each other. Further, you both are also exclusivists. Your bf said “he has insisted that the kids have to be muslim” and you said ” the thought of them being muslims does not sit well with me”. So, plan to get married but make sure not to have a child.

Actually he has proposed an excellent solution, “he has always said that its okay for the kids we’ll have to go to church with me”. So take the kids to a Mosque on Fridays and a church on Sundays, but do not label the children as Muslims by sunat or christians by baptism (no BBS). At their adult age, let them decide their faith. Go for it. However, you want children to be followers of Jesus only and be baptized, correct?

You said, “kids are half of me and half of him”, so how the kid could have half of the baptism? You will have to make up your mind if Jesus is a son of God or an apostle.

You want others to “believe there is one God” but which one? …Jewish LORD God, or Christian Father God? …or Muslim’s Allah in the direction of Saudi Arabia? …or One God Isvar as prayed by Hindus? Basically, you are saying there is only One god, and that is mine only (like you own the God). There is only one true Barbie doll and that is mine! Grow up Alex.

You have many fundamental problems, thus you will be better of marrying to someone from your own Church and Mosque, respectively. Best wishes.

.

Also read:
Christian Muslim marriage,
Hindus, Abrahamics and Intolerants
Can Allah be the Father God?
A Jealous and Angry God
Idol Worshippers: Who is and Who is Not
Circumcision: Science or Superstition?
Ten Points of Interfaith Dating
FAQ on Interfaith Marriage
Islamic Women Today,
Hindu-Muslim marriages,
Hindu girl, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Muslim boy,

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