Joseph says: February 9, 2013 at 3:17 am
I was in a similar situation and it is a very difficult one so I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I have dated a Muslim girl for 3 years and we had to end it. We were in school together so while away from our families it was able to work but once we both went back to our respective states problems occurred.
Unfortunately religiously there is nothing you (Aafroze) can do unless you were able to introduce him to Islam and he was able to embrace it and converted by his own will. I respect Islam and I have read parts of the Quran but I’m from a middle eastern Christian family which means converting isn’t an option.
If he (Aafroze‘s bf) isn’t very religious and willing to accept Islam that’s one of your options. Other than that you have the option of following your heart which is a sin but doesn’t mean it won’t work. When I was in my relationship I didn’t keep pork in my house, I fasted with her, we celebrated eid and at the same time she colored Easter eggs with me and decorated the Christmas tree so we embraced both religions.
If your family won’t disown you and you are willing to go against the rules of the majority opinion you can find a happy medium but you would be living in sin according to majority opinion of imams. It is a very hard decision, my ex-girlfriend couldn’t go against her religion and family so it’s ultimately up to how far you are willing to go for love and how far you are willing to go for God. Good luck Inshallah. it will work out for you. -Joseph
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Admin says: February 10, 2013 at 1:00 am
Joseph,
Is this conversion business for marriage right? When Christians and Muslims will change their old practices and learn to live a pluralistic life? Will not this world be a better place to live if people start respecting each others faith?
Was it not that beautiful feeling when you “we embraced both religions”?
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Joseph says: February 10, 2013 at 2:37 pm
I completely agree with you. I wish that people were more forward thinking because the world would be a much better place. I probably could have had a very happy marriage and nobody had to change at all because a persons faith had a part in creating the person you love so nobody should ever have to change who they are, just living in unity with respecting one another and their faith should be enough. Unfortunately from my experience its societal pressure which leads to the destruction of these kinds of relationships.
My family told me no matter what they want me to be happy above all and said if I want to be with her than be with her but her family told her if she was a good Muslim she would have never put herself in that situation and if she was a good Muslim I would have converted and then she had the family guilt and worried about what her society would think of her. This unfortunately happens too often she had friends that had the same thing and the same outcome.
I have had this argument way to many times that an interfaith marriage is very feasible. It comes down to love and respect. It also comes down to letting go of what others think but people’s opinions and people words are stronger than weapons and can completely ruin something so beautiful and pure.
I do like your philosophy and train of thought I hope others can come across this page and feel a comfort that what they feel isn’t wrong and can learn to live for themselves following their hearts. -Joseph
Also read if in relations with a Christian: Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,
Also read if in relationship with a Muslim: Islamic Women Today, Muta, HRS, wife-beating, Muhammad, Hadith, Koran, Inter-race marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl/boy, Muslim girl/boy, Christian-Muslim marriages,
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hi admin,
my bf and i been in a relationship for 3 years now. both of us are malaysian. i am a muslim and he is a catholic christian. we really want to be together. we tried and been searching for solution in our case. we went to churches and mosque and found dead end to solve this. both mentioned that he needs to convert in order to marry me. he had been counselling by 2 fathers of his church because he loves me and i love him too. both of us tried to break our relationship but it is too strong. and we end up getting back together within a week. Both of us working in malaysia and wish not to leave this country.
His family and i have a good relationship but his mom still didn’t know about us. But i know his mom know about us. in the same time, i think his mom is trying to introduce him to few of christian girls. As for me, i just have few bad experience with malay guys. Hence, that’s the reason why i don’t believe in malay guys anymore. My family knows about my bf, as a very close friend. but i can tell that my mom know, but she never pressure me. because of past relationship.
I’ve been thinking about RCIA (to convert to be a christian). But he is too scared that i will be punished by malaysian law by doing it. what he wants is a church wedding, thats why i am thinking about converting. all i want is just to be with him. to me, religion is ruled by ONE god. it just the mainstream are different. So, yeah..it doesn’t really matter to me. I pray in my own way. Not the religion way, but my own way.
We searched and found few options but cannot decide which one will works for both of us.
1. Eloped –> get married in some other country such as singapore. come back to malaysia and live as single? how about when we decide that we want to expand the family?
2. Tell both our moms, the actual things that going on and pray for the best. I actually know the answer for this. Both of our moms most probably want conversion. (If we tell his mom about us, worst case scenario, his mom would be having heart attack. stupid idea is kidnapping his mom and bring her to nearest hospital, you know, just in case. to make thing even worst, his mom most probably forced him to marry other christian girl. As for my mom, her things is simple, my bf needs to convert.)
3. ask my bf to fake-convert to muslim and marry me (without his mom knowing) and (secretly) re-convert back to christian. I would take the class and get baptised and do church wedding. Can the civil wedding be done in singapore and later we have a church wedding in malaysia?
I desperately need help and advice as both of us really loves each other soo much and we want this to work out.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=10622
Islam do not allow marriage of Muslim girl with a Christian boy, Read Quran chapter 2, verse 221 where it says marriage with non-muslim man is only possible when he converts to Islam.
Hi readers,
I am a pakistani lady, 34 years and I live in usa. I wanted a free and independent life and did not marry any muslim guy. I have a one black friend and I have one baby with my black frend and I love he so much I am thinking 2nd time pregent with his big black sult. Now I am also working in gas station with him. No problem to lead a happy life with him including sex and no restriction at all in my daily life style. Very caring and submissive and helpful to me, whatelse a woman want in her life, good soul mate?
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4413
Joseph,
Is this conversion business for marriage right? When Christians and Muslims will change their old practices and learn to live a pluralistic life? Will not this world be a better place to live if people start respecting each others faith?
Was it not that beautiful feeling when you “we embraced both religions”? We wish you will marry without asking to convert your non-Christian spouse to Christianity. Please come to this site to guide other youths for their INTERFAITH MARRIAGE WITH EQUALITY.
I completely agree with you. I wish that people were more forward thinking because the world would be a much better place. I probably could have had a very happy marriage and nobody had to change at all because a persons faith had a part in creating the person you love so nobody should ever have to change who they are, just living in unity with respecting one another and their faith should be enough. Unfortunately from my experience its societal pressure which leads to the destruction of these kinds of relationships. My family told me no matter what they want me to be happy above all and said if I want to be with her than be with her but her family told her if she was a good muslim she would have never put herself in that situation and if she was a good muslim I would have converted and then she had the family guilt and worried about what her society would think of her. This unfortunately happens too often she had friends that had the same thing and the same outcome. I have had this argument way to many times that an interfaith marriage is very feasible. It comes down to love and respect. It also comes down to letting go of what others think but people’s opinions and people words are stronger than weapons and can completely ruin something so beautiful and pure. I do like your philosophy and train of thought I hope others can come across this page and feel a comfort that what they feel isn’t wrong and can learn to live for themselves following their hearts.
Joseph,
We have set up this site to define IM-WE (Interfaith Marriage with Equality). More specifically, it is beyond our belief why this BBS labeling is still going on in this days and age.
This is not one person or organization’s job. Many Muslim girls and others have joined hands in speaking out against religious evils. Joseph, we hope you will give hands to us in defining IM-WE. Please plan to spend some time every week to come and guide youths in love on this site.
Come to think of it, it is good that you did not married to that girl. If she is of a weak mind, she would have created more trouble later in your married life.
Sometimes, Muslim girls like that pluralistic thinking from Hindus and people like you, but inside they are absolutely exclusivists. They truly believe in AFTER life or that there is only One God Allah (not LORD God, Father God, Krishna, etc).
You failed to educate her, so now let her go and marry Allah fearing Muslim who will expect her to display that bloody bed sheet, line up three other wives next to her, beat her if she does not behave and even divorce her by talak, talak, talak. Even after this, she will be happy because her AFTER life will be in heaven!