Five Hindu-Muslim marriages in 3 years!

Ambily Shanu says: April 22, 2013 at 2:47 pm (Edit)

Hi Dear all,

Me too want to share my story to all of you. Am a Hindu girl and my husband is Muslim. We were in love for 8 years. My husbands family was aware of our affair and they supported us to get marry (might be thinking that we were kidding and will forget as time passes).

But as time passed things became serious and only becoz of religion problem the above said people started opposing.

In my home, my parents were unaware of this relationship and they were seriously busy in searching groom for me. I am from upper class family and my area consists no Muslims. Moreover that our area people hate to love Muslims. So it was very difficult for me to reveal my love in front of parents when Shanu’s(my hubby) family was opposing and moreover that he was not having any permanent job.

Shanu rejected many visa in fear that if he goes abroad i may get married to any other person. Me too was rejecting each and every marriage proposals for no reasons…my parents were wondering.. they asked whether i have any special interest. But as i was knowing that the correct situation has not come and if a say anything it will spoil my freedom to step outside i said no.

But the shocking thing was that we both were not sure that we will marry each other, becoz our low intelligence said we are from different caste and marriage cant be possible. Then why Shanu and me continuously rejected the offers and proposals we got? Might be we were sure that we can live without each other but we cant live with some other. Our hearts was working and brain was sleeping.

Suddenly I got a job offer from Chennai. Our brains started working. After many fight I joined Chennai company (just to get rid from proposals). It became very easy for me to reject new proposals through phone. Shanu got his visa ready. just 4 days before leaving kerala for Dubai, I went to kerala and we signed a marriage contract without our parents knowledge. It was just a contract so no one could separate us after he go to Dubai. Actually the contract will get invalid if someone opposes it, but it was just enough to scare Shanu’s parents (if needed) who were unaware of the legal points.

I always wished to get marry in a temple of lord Shiva. Shanu accepted that and after 2 years we went to a siva temple with friends and married as per hindu ritual again without parents knowledge.

Shanu is third son of his family. He was looking for a chance to say our matter to his parents. We decided to say this after the marriage of his second elder brother. The second brother got married and it was Shanu’s chance. But for our surprise there parent went to marriage broker for his younger brother to search bride. When the broker asked what about Shanu, his parents said he has already fixed for himself. They ask him to take me home. I went his home. They warmly welcomed me. His mother hugged me tightly. Special food were made for me.

All relatives first came to see me. One by one neighbours friends villagers every one came. Shanu and me were surprising, thinking what we thought and what happened..unable to utter a word..gang of peaople made shanu’s family also in surprise becoz they have actually invited anyone. they didn’t even informed anyone. but some how every one came to know that Shanu has brought one hindu girl and around 300 ppl came to see me that day. ppl were fill in the house as of in some marriage function.

They planned our marriage as per Muslim ritual but the Ustad of Mosque was giving excuses for non availability of date. Me stayed at Shanu’s house for 1week before marriage. It was the most beautiful days. We were not allowed even to sit together before marriage and never they let us to be alone… But we made it… Romantic environment.

After 1week when again ustad said excuse Shanu directly went to him and said he want to change the membership from the mosque. That night we had our marriage as per muslim ritual in front of Shanu’s family, relatives friends and neighbours. and a good supper.

For marriage they were demanding sign of my parents saying that they are ready to send me to Muslim community. This was not possible coz my parents still unaware of the relationship. and they were thinking that am in chennai. Shanu Signed on behalf of my parents (This truth is known by Shanu, Shanu’s mother and me only).

Eveyone in Shanu’s family love me more than any other. They respect me and hear me and my opinoin. I felt am the luckiest person in the word.

Now this was the time for me to inform my parents. As love my parents i never thought to abscond. I informed my sister and she informed Parents. They were ready to marry me with Christian guy but not with muslim. They started brainwashing, advising, my mother and me cried daily for this matter. This situation existed for 2 months. I explained them, am a good daughter of you. I respect u and love u. thats y i didnt abscond. I want you to give my hands to Shanu happily?

They agreed at last and Shanu to come. Shanu with his brother came and asked me officialy. And my parents happily agreed. They talked with relatives were relatives said if u r making this marriage then no relatives will keep any relation with us. But my parents said we want our children happiness and they arranged our marriage as per hindu ritual at home where every one came except our relatives. This grand function was not informed to Shanu’s family coz of religious issue. Then we married as per Hindu marriage act and got marriage certificate. total of 5 marriages in 3 years… great!

We lost our dozens of relatives. But my parents are happy coz Shanu is a special character person and he took my parents in hand at the first meeting. Now they say to me that they will never let Shanu go even if i leave him. They say they got a very good person as their son in law. now they don’t have the sorrow of loosing dozens of relatives.
Me have a very happy marriage life and both of our families cooperate with each other in every function and situations and are very good relationship.

But do you know what all adjustments we both do to keep our families relationship smooth? Whenever I go to mosque with Shanu’s family or when i participate in their custom i inform my parents and accept coz hindus will accept other relogion soon? But whenever we go to temple with my mother we will not inform Shanu’s family coz as per them after marriage me too can’t enter temple. But Shanu comes with me and perform all rituals…

Yes in some mean we are cheating our parents but the god we both believe is something different from what they believe. We believe where love is there, god will be there. There is only one god in the universe who dot have any shape and gender. ppl believe them as per their convenience. But the same god has created us and our prayers are reached to same ears. Mohhammed, jesus and krishna are born as human with supernatural powers who can hear the god. They all came to earth to save ppl from sin and shaitans. But there is only one god known in different name.

When Shanu come to temple, he goes to Siva idol and pray hey lord shiva please pray 4 us to Allah..whatever we believes is our religion….whatever we say god can never see his children from different angles. he will never say to hate or avoid some category of ppl coz god only has made everyone……Our common thought on god is our strenght. We believe do good, thing good and definitely we will get heaven.

Now after 4 years of my marriage also i have not converted legally. While doing marriage in mosque they put my name as Shamna and they call me in that name (except Shanu)

Now what happened means i planned to take passport. This time a big issue arrived means i should change my address and name in certificate before applying passport. This was not at all accepted by me coz my experience letter of 5 years will go useless in which i cant change my name. Moreover that i dont want to change my identity. Shanu supported me and i took passport without informing shanu’s family (not yet informed). Shanu said he will handle the situation.

I want to do hujj (its my own wish, no one asked me to do so). So now am trying to take 3 months class to learn islam (conversion in other language). but whatever we learn my believes will be same. I was a human and will be human. I don’t have caste) it is just to get certificate of conversion so that i could go saudi for hujj….

Still now we live as per our wish without hurting anyone. If hurted we will give the proper reason.. following both rituals (we go church too) informing only things that should be informed. making many adjustments and telling little lies to keep our parents and family happy.

But we know god will not punish us coz we are in good path and for long happiness some times we can say small lies also.

I shared this much so that anyone who has no idea to solve intercaste love relationship problem could get some idea to handle things smoothly, u both just need patience, underrstanding, adjustment, sincere love, commitment, strong heart and believe in god. –Ambily Shanu

Admin Says:

Dear Samna-Ambily Shanu,

This is a very interesting story; a perfect one for a Bollywood movie. It is great that you both are pluralist and both visit each other’s religious institutions. It is your nobel thought that “We believe to do good, think good and definitely we will get heaven.” If every one in this World will be like Ambily and Shanu, it will be so wonderful place to live. Congratulations. We wish you the best. Keep us posted as your life evolves.

Well, we are here to critically evaluate different marriage situations. Let us also give you a counter view (that you may not like it).

Lies and deception are foundation of your married life. You are a coward and have no self-esteem. Because of your weakness to face reality of life, you are taking a cover under lies. You are “cheating our parents”, what a shame! If every one becomes liar like Ambily (asatya mev jayate; lies triumph), this World would fall apart in no time. We wish others do not follow your advice “telling little lies”, instead have courage to do that is right thing to do.

It is quite likely that your Muslim husband is also a liar. Probably he promised his parents that he will ultimately make you a true Muslim and that is why they were excited. He came to Hindu temple not with faith but was as a trick to trap you. As years go by, especially after children, you will see that he will be less and less at Hindu temples or ceremonies and more towards Islam. Only time will tell you the truth.

You said, “(his parents) were unaware of the legal points “ and further said, “i have not converted legally”. You think you are fooling Muslims, but actually you are fool yourself. You must realize that at you’re the first Islamic Nikaah wedding, you took (may not have realize it) Shahadah oath, you changed your name and your names has gone into a Nikaah-nama. Legally, you are a Muslim. They won, you lost!

Further, you said, “they (Muslim parents) supported us to get marry” and “They warmly welcomed me. His mother hugged me tightly.” You added, “around 300 (Muslim) ppl came to see me that day”. Sure, if they could convert a Hindu to Islam that certainly will be most joyous occasion for them. Your mother in law was not hugging a “Hindu”, but their future “Muslim” daughter-in-law. The day they will find out that you are fooling every one of them, their Allah and Imams, they will surely take revenge and you will have to run for your life. Theirs was not an innocent love for you, it was a conditional love (your’s conversion to Islam).

You said, “take 3 months class to learn islam (conversion in other language)”, please let us know what you learn there different than what we are asking you to read below.

Bottom line, one day you will pay big price to lie to every one. After child-birth, you will find out that slowly and slowly your husband and relative will completely restrict you from doing Hindu things, because you are a Muslim. You might as well, accept Islam and pay your price of lying.

We hope your Bollywood dream continues rather than the other potential horrible situation we described (it is only a hypothesis). We hope you go tell them the truth and make them tolerant to other Hindus too. Please go teach them, in your words, “to do good (karma), think good and definitely we will get heaven.”

Please let us know, as years go by, for what is reality of your life. We are waiting. –Admin.

ambily shanu says: November 17, 2013 at 3:43 am (read details here)

shanu shukathali says: November 17, 2013 at 4:17 am
hi,
am shanu.ambily’s husband.i love my wife. i love her coz her thoughts matches with my thoughts..i hv learn to respect all relegions. my family has taught me to lv evryone irespctve of caste and religion. even if any prblm arises we solv in ourself.

And admin i believ that u r strng divotee of allah..happy to hear…bt devotion has one anothr name too “humanity”..a persn with humanity wil automaticaly becm a divotee coz allah teach us to be human.bt ur words sm whr gave me a feelng that u r just a devotee

dear brthr, pakistanies and afganistanies take gun in the name of allah..am a poor indian. i just lied to my parents coz i lov to live with my wife haply and i wana see both of my family always happy.. Shanu


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20 Comments

  • February 14, 2018 2:54 am

    Dear Shanu and Ambily Shanu,

    I felt of you after reading your story.
    Am in the similar case as you both had. We are from Kerala. We are still in relation since 8 years. Now its the time for Action. She is working in Bangalore and am settled in UAE. Now the issue is we need to get married and after our marriage, we need to present this issue to our parents as you had done. But for conducting the marriage under special marriage act from Bangalore. But we heard that for Special Marriage Act, a letter will be sent to our parents or the Register marriage office in our native. Now we are searching for a solution to get married without informing out parents and inform them once after the registration is done. If we don’t do this her family might House Arrest her and will try all the way to separate us. We need to live together somehow… Same as in your case both of us doesn’t want to get converted. Can you suggest us some way to conduct the Marriage?

    Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13283

  • mac
    September 30, 2014 5:33 am

    dear sister Ambily Shanu, if this is your opinion “But the same god has created us and our prayers are reached to same ears. Mohhammed, jesus and krishna are born as human with supernatural powers who can hear the god. They all came to earth to save ppl from sin and shaitans. But there is only one god known in different name.” – then mashallah you are not a hindu anymore, coz you don`t believe krishna as god.

  • shanu shukathali
    November 17, 2013 4:17 am

    hi,
    am shanu.ambily’s husband.i love my wife.i love her coz her thoughts matches with my thoughts..i hv learn to respect al relegions.my family has taught me to lv evryone irespctve of caste and religion.even if any prblm arises we solv in ourself.
    And admin i believ that u r strng divotee of allah..happy to hear…bt devotion has one anothr name too “humanity”..a persn with humanity wil automaticaly becm a divotee coz allah teach us to be human.bt ur words sm whr gave me a feelng that u r just a divotee
    dear brthr,pakistanies and afganistanies take gun in the name of allah..am a poor indian.i just lied to my parents coz i lov to live with my wife haply and i wana see both of my family always happy..

    • November 17, 2013 9:14 am

      Shanu and Ambili,

      Glad to hear from you, we wish you happy ever lasting married life.

      Do not take a wrong message from what we wrote. We understand you are not liars but the society is compelling you to lie. You are innocent victims of bad practices of the past. Please join us here to improve tolerance between Hindu and Muslim lovers on this site.

      Ambili said, “it is up to the us what to follow and what not to”, actually that is not true. You guys end up lying to society just to get around exclusivist views of Islam. You are telling us but you do not have daring to go tell your Muslim relatives that you “i recite om namashivay, gajananam, sarvamanga mangalye, om nano narayanaya”. It is Kareena Kapoor who had guts to marry without conversion, not you. We hope Shiva and Allah will give you strength to be pluralists.

      Shanu, how are your views on Islam different (if so) than that of Mr. Haque? We are waiting to hear from you.

  • ambily shanu
    November 17, 2013 3:43 am

    hello dears,

    thank u all for you feedback.first of all am not a fake person and mine is not a fake story.y shud i fake…
    I heard admin..and i appreciate his opinion..he is true.but admin,wat can i do..i dnt know wat is shahada..i dnt have full knowledge about any religion.and i dnt wsnt to know also.coz i believ religions are made by man.thr is only one god.muslim call him allah and hindus call him krishna or siva..

    I believe that god never say wrong and eveyone is equal to him.eveyone has their own belief and i trust in mine..but our parents are aged and their thoughts are not like us.thas y things become difficult to make them understand and for happy life we are forced to lie.

    Admin you r true,,but brother,when we believ only in love and when we belive that our love,life,and behaviour is not hurting any one,,then y shud we fear.

    Today whenever possible,i recite la ilaha illallaahh,,sollalllahhu allah muhammad,allahu akbar,subhanallah,masha allah,mismillahi rahumanirrahim,allhamdullillah 101 time in the eve..along with that i recite om namashivay,gajananam,sarvamanga mangalye,om namo narayanaya and even hallelluyaaaa

    i feel good coz every thing is heard and accepted by one person.

    And rubina,u maye be correct..but what we thing is that watever may be wrritten,it is up to the us what to follow and wat not to…we follow only things that we think is right..

    Everyone has their own belief..we dnt hv any right to say that ..that persn is wrng.
    Ther r difrnt cast and religions in th word.evry religion has its own culture.as an literate person,i respect evry culture..blv in one god and follows only thos thngs taught by religion,that is nt harmful 4 sociey

  • GodIsGreat
    May 2, 2013 4:39 am

    To admin,

    First of all just reading the shahada even without knowing the meaning of it or changing names doesnt make you a muslim.
    Secondly,
    Becoming a muslim is between the person converting and Allah(God)
    The muslim community has no say in it. So no matter how happy they get its useless. Its only when going for Hajj you are required to say the shahada in front of the visa authorities

    Islam clearly forbids forceful conversion and a person only becomes a true muslim when he truly accepts the five pillars of islam from the bottom of his heart not just by reading the shahada(oath) or as in cases of Christianism-getting baptized.

    Todays true muslims are only those who have converted because they have converted with all their senses and understanding in place.
    Those that are born muslim unfortunately take it for granted that doesnt make them muslims in Allah’s eyes.

    So please get your facts right. Its either you understand or you dont

    • May 2, 2013 10:35 am

      We agree, many Hindus convert just for the sake of marriage or travel. This “fake-conversion” is not right. To lie to Muslim in-laws, community and to Allah is wrong. One should respect religious institution and take shahadah only after understanding it.

  • April 24, 2013 12:31 pm

    I am a sikh boy 32 years working in a food shop in Toronto and in love with a muslim girl 26 years, who was thrown out of her inlaws house on the 2nd day of mariage, as she did not bleed on the wedding night, by her husband, though he was already married, but he wanted his wife to be virgin. She is working as Chef and myself as Cashier. She says that she will leave islam and adopt sikh religion after marriage in the Gurudwara. She is so nice and intelligent that I am ready to accept her as it is.

    My parents have also seen her and they have given permission.Regarding her mother( no father now), she says whatever she feels good, do it.

    May I get some positive suggestions.

    Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5221

    • Rahul
      April 24, 2013 9:58 pm

      Congratulations for choosing a truly loveable person, I would only pray for your marriage with that girl. You can however ask her to remain Muslim or if she is ready to convert, its her wish, but not matter what….marry her and keep her happy. I many Muslim friends ( girls), the only thing I have noticed is that they are very good in nature, but almost all of them are afraid of there parents, they feel the father will disown them if they marry any one other than their parents wish. In my opinion, in this situations its the girls right to marry whom she loves, Muslims girls are very courageous, I had a girlfriend who was a Sunni Muslim, she was in my colleges, she was like a proper Muslim girl, in burka and nakab, many boys were after her, but I got her. We were very close, once her dad saw us and I was introduced to him by that girl. Next day she told me what her father ( who met me with a smile) told her that I’m not good person, she should be away from me blah…blah blah… The reason he gave was that I was a Hindu. I mean what the hell is this logic, being a Hindu means bad? Who told her father that I was like that….so point is that girl was sensible, she had more friends than me, there were less Muslim friends of her than Hindus, so she knew her father was not right. For some other reason we had to leave each other, but we are still friends, we meet etc…but reading your story I understand how you are feeling now, so all my best wishes for you. By the way this site is quite interesting, I can see some Muslims fundamentalists vs secular people war going on, I never thought Muslims can be so fundamentalists and illogical, if most of the Muslims think like those Muslims who comment against any religion, then why did they not go to Pakistan? India was a secular country, will be secular. Strange world with Muslims they are always wrong, yet shout for un necessary things, as if Christians, Hindus are eating them.

      Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=5224

  • zahid
    April 24, 2013 10:18 am

    Vist
    http://www.alsiraj.net/English/misc/women/html/page01.html
    to know position of women in islam

    • April 24, 2013 10:22 am

      Zahid, are you okay that she is a lier? Are you okay that they had two Hindu marriages and telling lies to both parents?

    • Final truth
      April 24, 2013 11:38 am

      Or you can search on google “Muslims women treatment” and you will see how Muslims actually treat women , instead of read what something says, learn what happens in reality.

      • zahid
        April 25, 2013 12:08 am

        Yes she should do google “which religion gives maximum rights to women”

  • April 24, 2013 9:37 am

    I too believe this as a cock and bull story just to convey misleading messages.

    Any hindu girl marrying a person beliving in criminal idelogy of islam, shall ruin herself.

    • GodIsGreat
      May 2, 2013 4:49 am

      Here is a verse for all from the Holy Quran,

      Verse 3:66
      Here you are—you argue about things you know, but why do you argue about things you do not know? God knows, and you do not know.

  • April 24, 2013 6:09 am

    This is a story framed by Haramzade Zahid or Zunaid.
    No substance here in reality.

  • April 24, 2013 5:51 am

    Hello Admn.

    I know personally who is Ambily Shanu. a fake name and a cooked story.
    The brain behind this story is of Zahid, a hard core terrorist mentality.
    Muslim is a religion of cruelty, lying,corrupt practices like female genital mutiliation and displaying blood stained bed sheets next morning of wedding night to show virginity.

    Actually it is Zahid who displayed this cock and bull story under hindu name. No body should give cognizance to this story.

    • GodIsGreat
      May 2, 2013 4:41 am

      Do you know showing blood stained bedsheets next day is a family function in some Rajasthani marwari communities. Dont degrade other religions you are just degrading the One God who has created you and them

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