Interfaith Marriage is a part of our new life; face it!

In the Western world, it is quite common for young adults date someone from another faith during their college years; therefore it should come as no surprise that about a third of young generation of Hindus (Jains and Sikhs) marry Christians, Jews and Muslims (Abrahamics) in America. This rate is expected to increase over years.

There appears to be a large gap between the expectations of Hindu (Muslim and others) parents and their children about the child’s choice of a life-mate. Thus, in almost all cases where an Abrahamic life partner is selected, the decision is made by Hindu young adults without pre-emptive advice, guidance, or consultation with their parents. Since most Hindus are not sufficiently knowledgeable about the Abrahamic faiths and how they differ from Hindu dharma, they are not well equipped to guide their young adults in this critical time resulting in irrational arguments about the decision.

In the predominantly first generation immigrant Hindu community, some parents, whose child has not married, may snicker at others whose child has a non-Hindu spouse without realizing that it could also happen in their own home later. Interfaith marriage is a matter of chance, and does not necessarily reflect the Hindu religious training given in childhood. On the other side, parents with interfaith marriage in their home are reluctant to share their sour experience of dealing with Abrahamic in-laws, resulting in loss of knowledge for the benefit of Hindu community.

One of the most critical questions that has to be addressed in any interfaith relationship is: What will be the religion of the children by this marriage? A Hindu must ask… Is there any expectation of religious “label” to be placed on the child(ren) by Baptism (Christian), Bris (Jew) or Sunat (Muslim)? Some other issues to address are: expectation of religious conversion of Hindu before marriage, first names of children, son’s circumcision for religious reason even though there is no compelling scientific merit to it, and any reservation by the Abrahamic intended spouse to be a part of Hindu worship practice of pooja and the display of Hindu Ishwara icons in home.

Baptism, Bris or Sunat as a ritual is not an issue, but the thought process behind asking for it is a concern. The Bible states more than 30 times that LORD their God is a Jealous and Angry God and will not tolerate praying to “other gods.” Are Lord Krishna and Goddess Laxmi other gods? Further, Christians and Muslims are taught that only believers in their faith will achieve salvation or others will get Hell of Fire on the Judgment Day. Does it mean Mahatma Gandhi will go to hell?

Not all Abrahamics impose their religious beliefs and practices on their Hindu spouse, but it is critical to find out facts sooner than later. It is also important to note that despite all the potential marital pitfalls, a successful and fulfilling inter-religious marriage is possible, ideally, by not imposing ones respective religious beliefs on the other partner. Regarding the selection of a life-mate, even he or she is a Hindu, Sikh, Christian, Jew or Muslim, it is hoped that young adults will make an “informed” decision.

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4 Comments

  • mac
    May 21, 2014 5:29 am

    Those who associate allah,bhagwan,god(cretor of this world) with idols will be burnt in hell according to all religious beliefs

    • May 21, 2014 7:19 am

      Muhammad and Jesus are two most idolized human beings in the history of this world, can any one think any one else more idolized that these two men?

      When a Muslim bow five a day at exact time like a clock, who they are bowing to?
      1) Is that to Saudi Arabia?
      2) Is that Kaaba building complex
      3) Is that to wonderful black cloth covering kaaba
      4) Is that to stones made that cube? or
      5) Is that all idols stored inside the cube?

      Why Kaaba worshipping is any different that someone worship to a marble statue, a wood-cross or a (Jews) candle. Why one is idol and not the other?

      The Judgment Day is your faith and not a scientifically proven fact. It has not come in last 2000 years so don’t keep hope when your are in grave. Meantime, keep dreaming!

  • September 28, 2013 5:49 am

    To all persons about to undertake interfaith marriage: Dear guys, before opting for such an unifying and cross religious and cross culture venture, please ask answers for the following questions with a sincere heart and serious mind –
    1. Are you ready to assign the highest priority to your love ?
    2. Are you really interested in your sweetheart with her all baggage including her/his religion ?
    3. What is your concept of God ? Is it restricted to the concept mentioned in the religious book of the religion you profess ?
    4. If in your love you are no able to rise above religious and cultural considerations, is your love just a physical attraction and nothing else ?
    5. When a person thinks of interfaith marriage, all considerations and consequences should be thought of beforehand, have you done so ?
    6. If you are so compelled to stick to your religious beliefs , culture and traditions , why are you wasting your time and why don’t you look for a girl in your own religion ?
    7. Rabia, a great Muslim mystique mused that she does not pray God for fear of hell or pleasure of heaven, she loves God since God is God. Here Rabia loves God just for the sake of God and not for attaining the paradise or other gifts. Are you interested in reflecting on such type of worship which I think is the only requirement to go for interfaith marriage, Do you fulfill such a requirement ?
    8. Since interfaith marriage is a revolutionary idea, are you ready to face severe consequences of doing so, rebelling against the set beliefs and traditions and even going against one ‘s own professed faith ?
    9. If you are so timid that you are not eager to alter a bit about yourself, about your belief, about your culture, traditions, thought, it will be better for you to remain in tour shell rather than to embrace touch of humanity magnanimously and usher in a utterly new way of life which will be truly a international way of living, are you inclined to adopt such an sheer modern outlook ?
    10. Lastly, are you interested in being human only disregarding other man made beliefs, traditions behind ?
    11. Are you comfortable if your partner eats pork, beef or any other prohibited thing in your religion ? If not, interfaith marriage will create a real hurdle in your life ?

    Questions are many and admin. has explained everything beautifully to the readers and mine is only an attempt to churn something out of this great phenomenon which has become a part of our life. All seekers of interfaith marriage should ponder over everything minutely before getting into such a great plunge !

    • mani
      September 23, 2015 8:11 pm

      i agree with you hareesh i am ready to say yes i can be with her howevr she might be but if her parents are insisting her to forget saying about the faith and beliefs which she practiced till now and about the other things she is just taking u turn why to trouble this many peopl just for the sake of my happiness and if that is so there by she will be entering ina dialemma of the parents not speaking to her and saying love is meant for sacrifice why dont we do one for everyone of them at 29 years after being in a rlation for more than two years what answer i should give her a lot of agony and pain is going on restless nights thinking about it even tried to make my parents speak to them she is saying they cant be convinced what more i should do how to make her parents understand tht her child will be in agony so much after this break up which she is not showing up right now she is fighting but she knows the truth how much she loved me what she promised me .

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