I will get converted (to Islam) and be circumcized
Ashok says: (November 9, 2011 at 9:52 am)
Myself i’m Ashok, Though i don’t believe in god i’ve much religious tolerance. Here i’m taking this opportunity to ask u a suggestion about hindu muslim interfaith marriage. i’m also a hindu by birth and I’m in love with a muslim but the genders differ (here girl is muslim). except a few clashes regarding religious things we are very happy in our love life from the past 3 years and she’s ready to put a bindi for my sake and i’m ready to let her practise all her beliefs especially in the month of ramzan
i’m the only son of my parents and they love me a lot but i can’t say upto what extent they can accept her. But she’s really good and ready to do anything for me. I doesn’t know much about either of the religions and she knows much about her religion (once or twice during dispute times she criticised hinduism for their idol worships) she suggested me to follow islam in order to make her parents accept for our marriage and she follows her religion in full swing at special days but will be mostly normal during other days (won’t wear burkha won’t do namaz during normal days not ever her parents do) but to be frank she’s very loving and caring for me.
Now with our experiences can u plz quote me what sort of problems we both may face in future in the name of this stupid religions. Am i doing anything wrong by choosing her as my life partner? But there is no chance for changing my opinion, already the decision has been taken at my mind and i’m fixed to her.
Why people won’t give 1st preference to humanity than to religion? When they will realise that we all people are born as humans and religion is nothing but a way of life?
Admin says: (November 10, 2011 at 12:10 am)
Your Muslim girl friend seems like an open-minded for the fact “she’s ready to put a bindi.” If she is truly like Salman or Seema Maheshwari, there will not be any problem and you will have a wonderful happy married life lasting forever. However it is important to be a realist and find out facts now.
The fact that “She criticized Hinduism for their idol worships” is a MAJOR concern. Shah Rukh Khan has no reservation performing Hindu Gods’ pooja (idol worship), does it mean he is not a Muslim? Both of you should sit down and read all verses from Koran on Hindus? and discuss what it mean to you as a couple.
You wrote, “She suggested me to follow Islam…” what does that mean? Are you willing to convert to Islam? Are you willing to have a new Muslim name (at the time of Shahadah)? Are you planning to have an Islamic Nikaah (marriage; after conversion)? Are you planning to give your children Muslim names and have sunat circumcision to announce them Muslims? Are you clear that you will never perform pooja (idol worship?) and will never entering into a Hindu temple to satisfy her request to “follow Islam?” May be you don’t mind doing all these for your love for the girl. You parents will have to accept your choices.
There is a second option where every one sacrifices a little bit. You mentioned that she is “ready to do anything for me” then ask her that 1) you will stay what you are (never convert; and she will remain what she is) and 2) children will not be “labeled” with any religion (like sunat) till their age 21 years. Children will go to a temple and a mosque every week, and will learn from Koran and Geeta equally. Both your parents will not like it in the beginning, but when they realize the beauty of your love and TRUE respect for each other’s faith, they will love you even more. Is not that fair and beautiful? Is not that, in your words, “1st preference to humanity than to religion?”
Please get back to us to inform which one of two options is logical and right for you?
Also read Prateek.
Ashok says: (November 10, 2011 at 10:22 am)
thank you for ur valued suggestions but in my earlier quiery i forget to mention some things which i like to state now. As i’ve said to u earlier that i don’t believe in god when she asked me to get converted i’ve said i’ll get converted (only for the sake of marrying her and will perform rituals just for their satisfaction) but will never perform any rituals as a muslim there after in their absence while leading a nuclear life. (What i feel is after marriage they’ve nothing to do with religion they are bothered only about the welfare of their daughter and how i’m looking after her as they know that i’m a born hindu i hope they may not stress much on religious things).
And i’m even ready for circumcision but to her i clearly mentioned that as i’m the only son to my parents, my children should be bought up as they wish and moreover if my parents didn’t accept her just on religious basis she too was ready for a secret conversion to hindu (only for making them accept for marriage and also will perform rituals in can’t but situations only to satisfy my parents here also what i feel is as they know my girl is not a born hindu they may not stress much on religious things)
And coming to my children i’ll name them with casual names not any particular muslim or hindu names. and finally after my children grew upto enough age we’ll let them know completely about both religions and also teach the greatness of the essence of secularism.
Once again thank you for ur suggestions.
Admin says: (November 16, 2011 at 9:10 am)
So, you are ready to convert to Islam and be circumcised, even you don’t believe in Allah(God)!?!! Is this a premeditated lie or helplessness?
You are in a VERY SAD situation. We feel your pain and suffering. Now you are compelled to do that you do not believe in. Instead of being a happy and free bird, you are now trapped into a love-cage. It is very difficult for a single individual like you to fight against religious rigidity and selfish interest of some religious leaders (view Gurumaa). As much as you hate “stupid religions,” now you are prepared to nurture and feed them by converting. With your submission to injustice, they will be even more powerful tomorrow to convert other innocent youths. And one day, even your children (and grand children) will also go out and convert other innocent victims like you for the religions dogma. So when will it end? Is this fair?
Unless Muslims tell us otherwise, the Shahadah (conversion) is not a hollow ritual devoid of meaning. Conversion to Islam is not an ON-OFF switch. If you are the one with some self-esteem, why would you do something that you do not believe in? Why would you start your married life journey in a wrong direction? Why would you make “lies and deception” a foundation of your marriage?
Instead of “Islam for One Day” your concept above, we recommend:
1) Go to her Mosque, read Koran and learn more on Islam. If you find out that Islam is a better religion than Hinduism or (your) atheism, yes, then convert and accept Islam whole heartedly. Or
2) Forget about this conversion business. You remain 100% what you are and let her be 100% what she is. Go to a court and get married. Teach your children about both faiths, secularism and humanity; and without any formal religious label on children. At children’s age 21, let them pick one of two religions by their own choice. In long run, you will be very happy that you took the path of truth.
Shahadah may be a 10 minutes ritual, but it will set a new tone for your life. Further, it may have major legal implications for you: A) Lets say something happen to you the next day after Shahadah. Now, your parents may want to give you Hindu cremation final rites, while your wife wants you to have an Islamic burial. Most probably, the court will approve the Islamic burial because you are (were) legally a Muslim. B) Lets say after 5 years of marriage, now you get a divorce. For children custody battle, the court may give a judgment in favor of the Muslim spouse and may ban you from teaching them Hindu religion or atheism, because these children are Muslims, since both parents are (were) also Muslims.
If you want an insurance against potential legal issues listed above, like you mentioned, ask her to “formally” convert to Hinduism and document it (a video and credible witnesses). However, we do not recommend this dirty conversion business for marriage, unless one really believes in that faith.
Now about the circumcision, why would you want to cut your private part? Ouch! Most world health authorities have not endorsed the circumcision as beneficial. The foreskin has abundant nerve endings increasing your sensual feelings. After divorce you cannot get back your lost private part!
Do not do that you do not believe in, other wise one day you will be in the position of Dee (My wife calls me Kafir, I wish I die!). Instead, working with your girl friend, spread the message of love (and not religious intolerance). Set an example. Be a role model. Bring a real change to secular India. Be bold! Be brave, like Ashok the Great! Don’t convert.