Parveen says: January 26, 2013 at 10:33 am
I’m 24, i know that dating is against islam and all and i feel totally crap about loving, lets say, Derek. So Derek is a Christian and i feel really bad about it, but i know i’m in love with him, please don’t say that “over time i will get over him” because it’s been nine months and i just find myself loving him more every single day. He’s always my first thought in the morning and last thought at night and he’s all i think about 24/7.
I hate this feeling of betrayal against both my religion and my parents, i hate it but i’ve tried so hard to get over him and i just can’t. It’s not like i can do anything about loving him because of restrictions from religion but i’m very mature, but also know how to live young while i am. I’m a very very strong muslim, i’ve never drunk, read the Quran 3 times through, pray 5 times a day and fast too so it’s killing me that i love Derek but i just can’t stop, and then on top of that, he’s one of my best guy friends.
He knows that i used to fancy him but when he asked me if i still did i said no, because technically i didn’t fancy him anymore, i loved him by then, and has called me stunning and one of his favorite girls and all. it’s getting really hard to be around him because there’s so much i can’t say, every thought is about him and so when im with him (3 out of 5 lessons a day) i have to stop myself from bringing anything to do with him up. please please please can anyone give me any help? it will be well appreciated! I have no hesitation to say that we both have sexual relations too.
p.s. don’t say pray to god asking to make me stop loving him, because i do that 5 times a day, yet it never seems to work and loving him is genuinely tearing me apart…
thank you so much for your time -Parveen
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I am a young Muslim girl and I am in love with a young Christian guy. I met him on the now removed website Mystery Google. I had put out a search for someone to email me, but only it wasn’t me. I assumed a pseudonym. The guy I am in love with was one of the people that replied back to my search. We began to email back and forth without him knowing my true identity. Our emails continued for several months, but he was still unaware of my deception. I had been deceiving him about my name, and family and friends. I was only honest when talking about myself. We began to date, though we never saw one another. We live far from one another. I never told him the truth about myself for fear of rejection. I lied to him for months.
We quickly became serious about each other, and fell deeply in love. We began discussing marriage. He wanted to spend his life with me, but it wasn’t really me he wanted to be with. The guilt and the lies were eating me up inside. I tried often to break things off with him, but I could not let go, and neither could he. I started losing sleep over my cruel actions toward him. I loved him so much, but I would not tell him the truth, until yesterday. Yesterday I confessed to him what I had been doing.
He said he is hurt, but he still loves me. He believes there are a lot worse things I could have done to him, and wants to give me a chance to show who I really am. Now that he knows everything, he is having a harder time trusting me, which is understandable considering I lied to him for so long, but he still loves me and wants to work this out.
Herein lays the problem, well the second problem after the trust issues that I so kindly gave to us. He and I are not of the same faith. He comes from a religious Christian background, and I from a religious Muslim background. We are in love. We are both unwilling to convert to the other’s religion, because our family would be lost. We are both unwilling to let the other go. I would not ask him to leave his family and join a faith he does not agree with. He would not ask the same of me. I do want to marry him, but I don’t know how that would be possible, unless he or I converted. I am aware that I cannot get married to him without the consent of my parents. My parents would not consent to a union between us if he was not of the same faith.
I don’t know how to make this all work out. I want it to very badly. I love him. I want to spend my life with him, but I can’t because of a religious divide. Is there any way that I could marry him? I need to know. I need to know all of the possibilities. I truly believe we were meant to be. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I would not object to a union of love so long as the Iman was strong. I ask for counsel. I don’t know what to do. I will not part ways with him. I can’t now. I love him. That won’t stop. I need to know if there is hope for us.
Thank you.
And yes, I know I have done wrong in lying to him. I don’t think it’s wrong however, to love him.
Seeking advice.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4305
In fact Muhammad and his elk must be exposed for the welfare of our sisters/daughters/mothers. These people should be behind the bars and ostracized, not respected. We have only to spread the truth of Muhammad with right reasoning because his cult has not only caused immeasurable agony to the womenfolk but is still active in enslaving them. Irony is the women, though victims, still try to justify Muhammad’s action and hold him as prophet!
Muhammad is also guilty of tarnishing the image of the God/Allah whom he has painted demoniacal. Allah is all merciful, impartial, omnipotent, omniscience and omnipresent. But see Muhammad what he says about Allah. First, Muhammad has made Allah a helpless who cannot even send His messages without the help of a human Messenger called Muhammad! Not only this, Allah cannot send another prophet after Muhammad.
Second, Muhammad declared Allah full of partiality who is totally against the women. He made sure, no women can be considered any prophet or lead the males in a prayer! Even his followers made sure that none of the women should be made the Khalifas! Can Allah be so cruel against the woemn who are also His creation and equally loving to Him/Her? Why would the Allah give 72 nymphs to the males in paradise and nothing to the women! Also most of the occupants in the hell will be women!
Muhammad has to be remembered with Allah in the Shahada! In other words, Muhammad has made himself at par with with Allah. In fact, Muhammad has been creating his empire twisting the Allah and using Allah to fulfill his won desires. In Quran, many places Allah has been forced to speak in favour of Muhammad’s despicable actions!
It’s not a rocket science to come to the conclusion that what was the motives of Muhammad and the intention of his followers. Now it’s time to get rid of this cruel cult and awaken others, especially the women who have suffered so much as it was primarily targeted against them. It doesn’t matter whether the women are Hindus or Muslims, they are equally maltreated. So, get up united and put this cult to its logical end.
Hello sister,
I have read your problem. It is quite simple to get over it. Pray to allah and read the quran. Try to be spiritual. Say dua whenever you are near that person. As far as possible avoid that person. Remember the sime fact that all our actiobs will be judged on the day of judgement. Be thankful to allah for this life. Remember marrying practicing muslim is a duty. It will open the gates of heaven for you.there are plenty of muslim men who will suit your tastes and treat you like a princess. The last thing you need is to get married to a fake cult asking you to idol worship.
Another important point most of the messages in this forum are made by anti islam zealots. They masquerade under muslim names and pass stupid comments. They only have one aim to misguide the muslim ummah. Sp beware of them. Don’t believe any of the non sense. For better guidance visit some good islamic sites like islamic vision etc.
Believe in allah. Everything will be fine.
It is a test .
If the love is true ..it will last
Father Zakaria Botros on “The perverse sexual habits of the Prophet”
Father Botros is a Coptic priest from Eqypt. Al Quada has placed a $60,000,000 reward for his murder. He runs a TV special into the Middle East.
Life TV’s Father Zakaria Botros recently ran a show dedicated to discussing the question of morality and how it is—or should be—one of the hallmarks of “prophethood.” At the start, he posed the focal question of the show: “Was Muhammad the prophet a moral man—the most upright man, worthy of being emulated by the world?”
He opened the show by relying on an Ibn Taymiyya quote, which evaluated the signs of prophethood. Taymiyya asserted that there are many false-prophets, such as Musailima “the Liar,” a contemporary of Muhammad. Taymiyya concluded that many of these so-called prophets are, in fact, “possessed,” and that the only way to determine the authenticity of any prophet is by examining his biography (sira) and deeds, and see if he be found worthy of the title.
Being that this is the first of several episodes devoted to examining the concepts of morality and prophethood (with the notion that the former reinforces the latter), the theme for this particular episode was “purity” (tahara): “Was Muhammad a ‘pure’ man?”—in this context, a question concerning his sexual mores (or lack thereof).
After the preliminaries, Botros looked at the camera and gave a stern warning: “This episode is for adults only! I am going to discuss many things that make me blush for shame, so please: have the women and children leave the room.”
He then asked Muslims watching to keep in mind the question “Is this the prophet I follow?” as he delineated some of Muhammad’s sexual habits.
First, from the Koran, Botros read verses unequivocally stating that Muhammad is the paragon of all virtue and morality, such as “And most surely you [Muhammad] conform (yourself) to sublime morality [68: 4].” He further quoted the ulema, such as Ibn Kathir, all insisting that Muhammad was the “Noblest of all humanity, and the greatest of prophets.”
Botros and his ex-Muslim cohost—the priest had insisted that it be a man for this particular show, lest he be too ashamed to delineate Muhammad’s sexual habits—discussed Koran 4:3, which “limits” a Muslim’s wives to four, plus “what your right hands possess,” that is, slave-girls.
That was apparently not good enough for Muhammad, asserted Botros; an entire verse had to be “revealed” justifying more women for him (Koran 33:50). In fact, Father Botros has carefully compiled a list of all the women—66 are known—to have had sexual relations with Muhammad.
Botros said that was only normal: according to Sirat Al-Halabi, Muhammad can have a woman no matter what, even against her will; and if Muhammad desired a married woman, her husband would have had to divorce her. According to Ibn Sa’ad, who wrote another authoritative biographical account of Muhammad, “The prophet did not die till all women were permitted him” (see Kitab Al Tabaqat Al Kubra, v.8, 194).
The co-host, rather abruptly, interjected – “What of all those rumors that Muhammad exhibited homosexual tendencies?”
Botros dropped his face in his hands and mumbled, “So you still insist we discuss that?” The co-host was adamant, saying it was for Muslims’ own good to know everything.
Thus Botros, after profusely apologizing to his Muslim viewers, saying how embarrassing this was for him, declared: “Look! We’re merely readers here, bringing up what we have read in Islam’s own books! If Muslims don’t like it, they should go and burn these books.”
The first anecdote discussed by the priest revolved around a hadith that, while some ulema say is “weak,” is, nonetheless according to Botros, present in 44 Islamic books—including some highly respected collections, such as Sunan Bayhaqi and Al Halabi.
According to this hadith, a man named Zahir, who used to declare that “the prophet loves me,” said that one day Muhammad crept unawares behind him and put him in a bear-hug. Zahir, alarmed, yelled, “Get off me!” After turning his head and discovering that it was Muhammad, he stopped struggling and proceeded to “push his back into the prophet’s chest—prayers and blessings upon him.”
Another curious hadith contained in Sunan Bayhaqi and which traces to Sunan Abu Dawud (one of the six canonical hadith collections), has Muhammad lifting up his shirt for a man who proceeded to kiss his entire torso, “from his bellybutton to his armpits.”
Botros looked casually at the camera and said, “Imagine if the sheikh of Al Azhar [nearest Muslim equivalent to the pope] went around lifting his shirt for men to kiss his torso” (he proceeded to make smacking kissing noises, for effect).
Said the co-host: “Surely there’s more?”
Botros: “Indeed there is. No less than 20 Islamic sources—such as the hadiths of Ahmad bin Hanbal—relay that Muhammad used to suck on the tongues of boys and girls”…
[Stay tuned for part II of “The perverse sexual habits of the Prophet”]
Hello Zahid, you are really zahil.
Do you know due to Indian Govt., policies, how lower caste people have reached on elight and high profile jobs like Ministers, doctors, engineers, administrators, ambassedors, army general and about 49% Govt.
jobs are occupied by them only.
More over 33% seats are reserved for women representation in recruitment, training, parliament and legislative assemblies.
What Islam has done for them?
Just encouraging Mutta marriages, Halala, female genital mutiliation, showing bed sheets with blood stains in the public, creating human bombs, jihad, murders, explosion in public places.
Admn. has rightly pointed out that you are here just for cut and paste.
In the next life, may God bless you to be a female in a muslim community and you are married to 57 years old man, when you age is just 6 years and he rapes you and your blood is shown to the family members.
Respond
I am kind-hearted, sort of religious, I pray, I don’t lie, but losing my virginity has turned my life upside down. How it happened is a long story but the most important thing now is that this incident has turned my life into a living hell.
I feel bad and I have been punishing myself for such a shameful thing. I know that I am not a good girl and that God is not happy with me or what I have done. This is why I decided to wear the veil. I hate it and I hate how I look and feel while wearing it but I put it on because it protects me from people staring at me or gossiping about me. I feel that everyone knows my deep dark secret and I am hiding my shame behind my veil.”
The worst for hundreds women in our region is to be killed or punished unfairly every year in the because of the Virginity issue , while there is no many voices as an Iraqi female I heard when she refused to be one of long list of victims: “The whole issue of doubting a woman’s virginity is insulting. If my husband wants to take me to the Forensic Department to make sure I am a virgin, then I do not need such a man to start a life with nor have children with.”
*Academic and researcher from Iraq
Dear Tahira,
Though I agree with you that you shouldn’t have done what you repent for, you need not be so remorseful. The God is so merciful that He will definitely forgive your mistakes if not intended to hurt someone. Your deep sense of repentance and tears of remorse are enough to wash the blot of your undesirable act. The God will forgive you for it. The God is not a cruel one as many try you to believe in Him. Moreover, He is always there to protect you from others. So, don’t punish yourself any more as you are the beloved creation of the God and punishing yourself is punishing His creation which will definitely not give you any religious merit. So, cool down and do something to make the God’s kingdom a beautiful place to live in.
God bless you.
The guilt is embedded in your soul.
We have been programmed to believe that religion follows carrot and stick theory.
Realistically the Creator of this universe is forgiving ..not someone with a whiplash.
The answer lies in you. Brush off the guilt and since you are entangled in the complex syndrome of being punished for it ..think before you make your next move.
Life is beautiful.
Even those who believe in paradise and after life, should think that enjoying this life on the earth is not detrimental to getting your paradise. Only thing that could prevent you from entering paradise is hurting and afflicting others in this life. As long as you are friendly with others and leading a happy life, there is no reason that the merciful God will disallow you the paradise. The happiness on this earth and in the after life are not at all exclusive to each other if you believe in a compassionate God. Yes, the story could be different for those who believe in a God who is jealous of your happiness in this life and hence shuts the door of the jannat or heaven. This is what the selfish people have propagated to fulfill their personal motives. They have tarnished the image of the God and have painted Him/Her as a demon. For them the God is a powerful demon who enjoys being a saddist and unforgiving for ever! Beware of these people as they are sinful by disparaging the supreme and divine God. Muhammad, the Khalifas and the Mullahs, Maulavis along with the terrorists are such people who take pleasure in denigrating the God. But don’t worry, the God is with the virtuous and believe in the God who has authority to send you either in the Heaven or Hell. None other whosoever he/she may be, has any prerogative to send you in the hell or paradise.
To sum up, it’s just your behaviour towards others that will send you to the paradise or hell and your enjoying this life will in no way prevent you from the afterlife of paradise as long as you behave friendly with every one.
Now it’s upto you what type of God you believe in.
Hello Parveen,
Go ahead with your desire to marry your BF.
Marrying a non muslim, kind hearted, educated, liberal is far better than to marry a fundamentalist muslim. He will ask you to prove your virginity on the wedding night, with blood spots on the bed sheet to be shown to all the family members.
Best of luck.
Yes Noor Jehan.
Be who you want to be.But also decide what the future will be ..and what role you play as a wife . If you are absolutely sure and determined to live this new life …go for it. Make love and understanding the binding force of your relationship.
Worrying about Families ….their reaction etc..is not something you need to worry about. If everything is good , acceptance will come .
Allah has a way of uniting.
The response was for Parveen ,
apologies to NoorJehan.
Hello Zahid,
You are misleading by posting unrealistic texts. The realities of islamic evils are already exposed on this site by learned sisters. Can you still deny:-
1. males always need a virgin wife,
2. males allowed to keep 4 wives,
3. females are fields to be ploughed in any manner,
4. females to wear hizab,
5. females kept under restrictions,
6. females beating, domestic violence and torture after marriage,
7. females treated sex dolls
8. females not allowed to pursue higher education in most countries,
9, females attracted to for Mutta marriages,
10. females genital mutiliations,
11.females need to be bleed on the wedding night,
12.males can marry even a child, like rapist prophet did,
13.females need witnesses to seek justice even if raped,
14.females forced to halala,
15,females not allowed to drive vehicles in some countries,
16.females not allowed to cast their vote to elect representatives.
17.males allowed to have sex with dead wife,
18.males allowed to have 72 virgins in the heaven for sex.
19.males allowed to marry even their cousins,
I KNOW SEVERAL MUSLIM GIRLS WHO ARE LEADING A MISERABLE LIFE SINCE BIRTH.
ISLAM IS A RELIGION OF TERRORISTS, CRUELS AND BARBARIC INDIVIDUALS.
OTHER RELGIIONS HAVE CHANGED A LOT IN HUMANITARIAN GROUNDS, BUT ISLAM IS STILL RELGIION OF RAPISTS, ANTI FEMALES.
Respond
Margaret ,
Why just islam?.
What about Mormons of UTAH …living with Sister Wives?
Extremism and exploitation is in every religion. It all depends on how well we can relate to men and women as human beings.
Lets not condone religions.
Parveen,
You are a just a normal humanbeing. Love is not planned, it happens. Now you have to deal with realities of life.
First, read all Muslim girls have to say for Islam and Islamic practices on this web site. We hope some of them will come and guide you what you should do.
It is one thing what is written in books but reality of life is a different matter. If you are the ones who believe that Koran is exact words and wishes of Allah, then you are already sinner and will get hell fire. So, what worst could happen to you any more than the hell fire? If you agree that, then forget about the AFTER life and start enjoying THIS life to fullest.
Apparently you are in the West (UK?). Think logically rather that what is written in books. What ever happened, was probably planned by Allah. Now do that you think is logical and moral things to do for any human being. We wish you the best.