Firoza says: March 19, 2013 at 9:01 am
Hello dear Muslim sister,
“I wish my husband dies,” as my deep desire, which I think will end my miserable marital situation. I am married to a Moroccan man and has been abused throughout my married life.
My abusive relationship has brought to the point of wishing husband’s death, but I am unwilling to get out of the marriage for only one reason: financial instability. My husband is the breadwinner since I married him. If I leave the marriage, I will not have anyone to support me or my children.
My another sister is in a worst situation; her husband not only verbally abuses her, but also suffers a anal sexual addiction. She also remains in her marriage because she is unable to financially support herself and her children. She says if anyone from her family could buy her an accommodation she would leave her husband the same day.
When it comes to domestic violence or abusive relationships, the issues of shame and dishonor have often been addressed. However, there are other reasons why women endure:
Financial Support
Many Muslim women endure domestic violence because they do not have the financial means to support themselves or their children. In most cases, husbands are the sole breadwinner and the wife becomes highly dependent on him for financial support. She would rather take the abuse than try to become financially independent.
Lack of Academic Education
Even in current times, many parents continue to put more emphasis on their sons’ education and undermine that of their daughters. As soon as a good suitor approaches, parents marry their daughters off without taking any future commitments to the completion of her education.
Complications in Remarrying
It is a well-known fact that divorced Muslim women have a hard time remarrying, especially if they have children. The fear of living a life without a husband seems more difficult than having one who is abusive.
Self-Image
Sometimes women with education and financial stability tolerate domestic violence just to maintain the image of being in a stable relationship. In their minds, an unsuccessful marriage is conceived as a failure on their part. Their ego stops them from being known as the “victims” of domestic violence.
For the Children’s Sake
At other times women drag along their relationship just so that their children don’t have to grow up in broken homes. They believe a family with a mother and father is better than one with a single parent.
Should Women Endure?
No matter what the reason may be, there is no excuse for enduring injustice. Unfortunately, in many cultures, there is so much negativity associated with seeking help through a third party and/or pursuing a divorce, that many women willingly endure domestic violence rather than protect their rights.
1. Seek Help
First, let us realize that not every case of domestic violence has to end in divorce. True, there are cases that definitely require a divorce, but there are other cases that can be sorted out without one. One may never know until they seek professional help.
2. Your Marriage is not SOLELY your Responsibility
Do not be deceived into thinking that you are the one responsible for disclosing the “secrets” of your marriage by seeking help. You need help, your spouse needs help and your marriage needs help. If your spouse was sick, would you not go to the doctor to help explain his/her situation? Only selective people need to know what is happening in your marriage. Seek help though a professional and through close family members and friends whom you can trust.
3. Evil Effects on Children
You will not be putting your children though any “embarrassing” situation should you seek help though a third party. They will, in fact, appreciate any help you can get to resolve the issue, rather than growing up watching their mother being abused by their father.
In case the solution is a divorce, again it is better for the children to grow up in an outwardly broken home rather than growing up, emotionally traumatized, in an internally broken home, trying to keep it a secret.
Complications of Remarriage, Financial Instability, and the Muslim Community:
In cases where the solution is divorce from an abusive relationship, the quandaries of remarriage and financial support need answers. We are not living in the time of the ṣaḥābah, where divorced/widowed women had no difficulty in remarrying. It is not practical for women to live a single life. Even when offering polygamy as a solution, hardly any brothers are willing to marry a divorcee with children.
Neither are we living in ‘Umar ‘s time, who had set up an excellent support system for single women with no male family member to support them. Many sisters in the US do not work, and solely rely upon the husband for financial support.
Please do not misunderstand me. I am not suggesting that due to these challenges a destructive marriage needs to drag, rather I am encouraging the Muslim communities to think of solutions for these issues.
“He [Allāh] will make for him of his matter ease.”
While we find the practical solutions, let me remind my sisters and brothers who want to leave an abusive marriage to put their trust in Allāh as He instructed us.
“And whoever fears Allāh – He will make for him a way out And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allāh – then He is sufficient for him.” (Al-Ṭalāq: 2-3)
It is interesting that Sūrat’l-Ṭalāq (divorce) is full of verses reminding us about putting tawakkul in Allāh and solely relying on Him for support. There are several reminders in this surah that Allāh will bring ease and Allāh will not overburden a soul, subhanAllāh.
Tie your Camel
When a family member was getting married, her husband-to-be, who is a very practicing brother māshā’Allāh, did not deem it necessary for his wife to complete her education. Though her parents wanted her to, they didn’t want to miss the good proposal either. The suitor promised that he will provide his best for her as long as he lives, and in case anything was to happen to him, then his wife should put tawakkul in Allāh and make the best of her situation.
Alhamdullilah the need never arose and the parents didn’t have to regret their decision. But, there are other cases where the husband turns out to be a very different person than what he had appeared initially. Daughters have to make the “best of their situation”.
I believe the necessity of educating our daughters (not to mention the importance of education itself) is vital, especially in our times. I am a proponent of early marriages, but I also believe that a higher education for our daughters is “tying your camel’s rope”. Allāh knows best.
Parents will have to come up with ways to support both early marriage and education without one becoming a hindrance to the other.
May Allāh protect Muslim families, bless their marriages with love and harmony, and protect our children and bless them with salih spouses, āmīn ya rabb.
Despite know all these facts, still indecisive to leave such cruel husbands? Please suggest and guide.
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Admin says: March 19, 2013 at 6:09 pm
Firoza,
You write so well, you must be educated and intelligent. It is okay to trust on Allah but you have to work for it yourself. Start from a small stuff. Find a small paying part time job. This way you have an opportunity to get out of home. Slowly you will gain experience and over next 5 years you could be little more financially independent. Even you are poor, but it is better to live a life with dignity. -Admin
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Firoza says: March 20, 2013 at 8:24 am
Thanks Admn.sir.
That is what I have been thinking to start doing job and slowly become independent to break the shackle of islamic religion.
I have been inspired by my wellwishers to do so. Shall be exploring possibility of getting some job. Shall give update lateron.
Always in pray almighty to help me and rescue from the existing agony. -Firoza
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Also read: Islamic Women Today, Muta, HRS, wife-beating, Muhammad, Hadith, Koran, Inter-race marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl/boy, Muslim girl/boy, Christian-Muslim marriages,
Be a friend on Facebook. Return to InterfaithShaadi.org. To share your experience, read.
HELL FIRE is iminent for Zunaid, most stupid and crooked person.
It is true that he is a product of Mutta marriage.
All islamic haters should vist http://www.answering-christianity.com which exposes all the lies you are posting againest. You have no knowledge about just copy and paste from antiislamic site. It is also foolishness of you people only
I used to be a devout Muslims, until I started reading the six Hadiths (Al-Kutub al-Sittah). As I read, I realized that sociopath could not be a Prophet of God. In most religions God is good, God wants love, God wants peace. The God of the Qur’an does not. He wants death, war, and hatred. I know this by what is written about Muhammad in the Hadiths and Qur’an.
Fight and kill the disbelievers, slay and are slain, kill and are killed, Fight those who do not believe until they all surrender, paying the protective tax in submission, Muslims, fight in Allah’s Cause, Fight them until all opposition ends and all submit to Allah, So fight them until there is no more Fitnah, Fight the unbelievers around you, and let them find harshness in you.
Looking back this looked so normal to me, so necessary.
I married with a budhdhist person of my company against the wishes of my family without converting. But I like teachings of budhdhism.
Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4868
Hi Mr.Satyen,
I doubt whether Zuniad like persons will ever mend their attitude, like tail of a dog, which cannot be made straight in any case.
Let him bark. Every time saying that Islam gives equal right, that is absolutely wrong and false in real life. I have travelled worldwide and found muslim women most depressed under prievilged and ill treated.
This bastard does not realize.
Has Zunaid,s mother ever breathed fresh air inside the dirty burqa?
Hi Pattinson,
I agree with you that the Muslim women/girls are the most depressed aroung the world. That’s why I have picked up this cause to write about. However, just writing is not enough and something at ground levels must start. I welcome everybody who is willing to share his/her part.
Junaid has the typical problem of a Muslim man and his arguments are also the same cliches.
Thanks.
Vist
http://intl.m.yahoo.com/rs/aHR0cDovL3d3dy53b21lbnV0Yy5jb20vZG9tZXN0aWNfdmlvbGVuY2UuaHRt/1364226436/blDdRiXB%3B_ylt=A2KIP.cEIE9RCHMA5gJuOy4J to know about hinduism it is created by hindu NGOs
Dear Admn./SATYENJI,
Very good observations.
I hate Zunaid like males who defend evils of the society in the name of relgion.
I appreciate your rational comments.
Veena malik,
i never posted any post againest women. What my posts is about rights of women in islam. Islam is only religion which gives maximum rights of women than any other religion.
Dear Veena ji,
Thanks for the appreciation. Our behaviour full of love and etiquette only can attract others to listen what we say. Rudeness and maltreatment to others only gives rise to similar reaction and repulsion which doesn’t serve the intended purpose. I think Junaid will take note of it and will present his views/ideas in a rational way. At the same time, he will also pay attention to what others are saying.
Veena Jee,
Thanks for the appreciation. Let’s spread the true knowledge that will rescue the the women from the slavery of Muhammad. Every woman/girl has to help other woman/girl quitting the Muhammad’s slavery. I will hopefully say more during the weekend.
Thanks again.
Hi Junaid,
Is your language Islamic? As you consider yourself a Muslim, I believe that your expression is guided by Islamic tenets. I am thankful to the God/Allah he has kept me aloof from Islam so that I may not use that type of language what you have lately using against the creation of Allah.
Allah/God/Ishwar and only He/She is supreme. No crutches of any so called prophets/middlemen is required for His blessings.
Satyen and other non muslims use muslim names use very good language againest muslims. Just check posts and see who used bad language.
Zunaid,
Like Feroza, your wife must be wishing you to die, because you are one of the criminal and cruel persons resorting crimes against females.
I am not married
Junaid,
It is good that you are not married. If you marry, the wife will ask for freedom and equality, that you do not believe in. After marriage, your life will become hell fire in THIS life.
Do you have sisters? If married, do they have type of husbands like you? Are you happy that those husbands are controlling or dominating your sisters?
How is your father treating (or treated) your mother? Did your father ever touch (beat) her with the intention to correct her? Is he a dominating husband? How many wives your father has (had)?
Did you ever had (or have) a girl friend? Sex? You do not have to answer all these, but we are curious.
Hi Zunaid Bastard?
All the booty received from the sale of boys and women into slavery, and looting and pillaging the property of murdered infidels must be shared with ALLAH. Raping slaves, selling women and children , killing people for their property and sharing the proceeds with ALLAH is evil incarnate – these laws of ALLAH – are so morally outrageous – that too claim that these teachings in the Koran are the word of ALLAH – is the greatest sin that Muslims have committed against ALLAH. Again – the Koran is an evil book and an obscenity against ALLAH.
Whatever booty goes to Muhammad belongs to Allah; it shall go to the relatives, the poor and the travelling alien; accept whatever booty Muhammad gives…59:7
Muhammad was poor; Allah made him rich…93:8
The booty of Banu Nadir belongs to Muhammad; this is because no fighting, either with horses or on foot took place; one must obey Muhammad’s decision (blindly and totally)…59:6
In verse 8:41 Allah forcefully claims His share of an Islamic plunder. On the interpretation of this verse, ibn Kathir writes that one-fifth (twenty per cent) of the loot, designated for Allah and His Messenger (Muhammad) is one and the same.
The share of plunder (one fifth of booty) designated for Allah and the Messenger is one and the same—ibn Kathir (8:41). Supporting this is what Imam Al-Hafiz Abu Bakr Al-Bayhaqi recorded, with a Sahih chain of narrators, that `Abdullah bin Shaqiq said that a man from Bilqin said, “I came to the Prophet when he was in Wadi Al-Qura inspecting a horse. I asked, `O Allah’s Messenger! What about the Ghanimah’ He said, (Allah’s share is one fifth and four-fifths are for the army.) I asked, `None of them has more right to it than anyone else. He said, (No. Even if you remove an arrow that pierced your flank, you have no more right to it than your Muslim brother.)
One can find all the following verses of Sura Anf’al from Allah inviting Muslims to enjoy booty sanctioned for them. Below are some examples how Quran openly supported Islamic jihadi’s immoral acts:
Quran-8:69—“But (now) enjoy what ye took in war (booty), lawful and good; but fear God…” (Allah encouraging Muslims to accept booty spoils of war “Maal-E-Ganimat”) Had there not been a previous sanction from God, you would have been sternly punished for what you have taken. Enjoy therefore the good and lawful things which you have gained in war, and fear God. (Surah 8:69)
Quran-8:1— “They ask thee concerning (things taken as) spoils of war (booty). Say: “(such) spoils are at the disposal of Allah and the Messenger: So fear Allah, and keep straight the relations between yourselves: Obey Allah and His Messenger, if ye do believe.”
Quran-8:41— “And know that out of all the booty that ye may acquire (in war), a fifth share is assigned to Allah,- and to the Messenger, and to near relatives, orphans, the needy, and the wayfarer,- if ye do believe in Allah and in the revelation We sent down to Our servant on the Day of Testing,- the Day of the meeting of the two forces. For Allah hath power over all things.
Quran-33:27- “And He made you heirs of their lands, their houses, and their goods, and of a land which ye had not frequented (before). And Allah has power over all things.” [Merciful Allah asked Prophet Muhammad to confiscate entire properties of the surrendered Jews]
Great benefits in the afterlife for fighting and dying for Islam
• 2:243-245 Didst thou not Turn by vision to those who abandoned their homes, though they were thousands (In number), for fear of death? God said to them: “Die”: Then He restored them to life. For God is full of bounty to mankind, but Most of them are ungrateful. Then fight in the cause of God, and know that God Heareth and knoweth all things. Who is he that will loan to God a beautiful loan, which God will double unto his credit and multiply many times? It is God that giveth (you) Want or plenty, and to Him shall be your return.
• 4:74 Let those fight in the cause of God Who sell the life of this world for the hereafter. To him who fighteth in the cause of God,- whether he is slain or gets victory – Soon shall We give him a reward of great (value).
• 4:76-77 Those who believe fight in the cause of God, and those who reject Faith Fight in the cause of Evil: So fight ye against the friends of Satan: feeble indeed is the cunning of Satan. Hast thou not turned Thy vision to those who were told to hold back their hands (from fight) but establish regular prayers and spend in regular charity? When (at length) the order for fighting was issued to them, behold! a section of them feared men as – or even more than – they should have feared God: They said: “Our Lord! Why hast Thou ordered us to fight? Wouldst Thou not Grant us respite to our (natural) term, near (enough)?” Say: “Short is the enjoyment of this world: the Hereafter is the best for those who do right: Never will ye be dealt with unjustly in the very least!
• 4:95-96 Not equal are those believers who sit (at home) and receive no hurt, and those who strive and fight in the cause of God with their goods and their persons. God hath granted a grade higher to those who strive and fight with their goods and persons than to those who sit (at home). Unto all (in Faith) Hath God promised good: But those who strive and fight Hath He distinguished above those who sit (at home) by a special reward,- Ranks specially bestowed by Him, and Forgiveness and Mercy. For God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
• 9:111 God hath purchased of the believers their persons and their goods; for theirs (in return) is the garden (of Paradise): they fight in His cause, and slay and are slain: a promise binding on Him in truth, through the Law, the Gospel, and the Qur’an: and who is more faithful to his covenant than God? then rejoice in the bargain which ye have concluded: that is the achievement supreme.
Desire for death is the only way to demonstrate true belief
• 62:6 Say: “O ye that stand on Judaism! If ye think that ye are friends to God, to the exclusion of (other) men, then express your desire for Death, if ye are truthful!”
Muslims who refuse to fight will be punished by God
• 9:38-39, 41,44-45 O ye who believe! what is the matter with you, that, when ye are asked to go forth in the cause of God, ye cling heavily to the earth? Do ye prefer the life of this world to the Hereafter? But little is the comfort of this life, as compared with the Hereafter. Unless ye go forth, He will punish you with a grievous penalty, and put others in your place; but Him ye would not harm in the least. For God hath power over all things. … Go ye forth, (whether equipped) lightly or heavily, and strive and struggle, with your goods and your persons, in the cause of God. That is best for you, if ye (but) knew. … Those who believe in God and the Last Day ask thee for no exemption from fighting with their goods and persons. And God knoweth well those who do their duty. Only those ask thee for exemption who believe not in God and the Last Day, and whose hearts are in doubt, so that they are tossed in their doubts to and fro.
• 48:17 No blame is there on the blind, nor is there blame on the lame, nor on one ill (if he joins not the war): But he that obeys God and his Apostle,- (God) will admit him to Gardens beneath which rivers flow; and he who turns back, (God) will punish him with a grievous Penalty.
Muslims who want the war against non-Muslims to stop are hypocrites
• 63:7 They [the hypocrites] are the ones who say, “Spend nothing on those who are with God’s Apostle, to the end that they may disperse (and quit Medina).” But to God belong the treasures of the heavens and the earth; but the Hypocrites understand not.
Execution and torture for those who fight against the Muslim armies
• 5:36 The punishment of those who wage war against God and His Apostle, and strive with might and main for mischief through the land is: execution, or crucifixion, or the cutting off of hands and feet from opposite sides, or exile from the land: that is their disgrace in this world, and a heavy punishment is theirs in the Hereafter;
Apostates should be executed if they resist the Muslim armies
• 4:88-91 Why should ye be divided into two parties about the Hypocrites? God hath upset them for their (evil) deeds. Would ye guide those whom God hath thrown out of the Way? For those whom God hath thrown out of the Way, never shalt thou find the Way. They but wish that ye should reject Faith, as they do, and thus be on the same footing (as they): But take not friends from their ranks until they flee in the way of God (From what is forbidden). But if they turn renegades, seize them and slay them wherever ye find them; and (in any case) take no friends or helpers from their ranks;- Except those who join a group between whom and you there is a treaty (of peace), or those who approach you with hearts restraining them from fighting you as well as fighting their own people. If God had pleased, He could have given them power over you, and they would have fought you: Therefore if they withdraw from you but fight you not, and (instead) send you (Guarantees of) peace, then God Hath opened no way for you (to war against them). Others you will find that wish to gain your confidence as well as that of their people: Every time they are sent back to temptation, they succumb thereto: if they withdraw not from you nor give you (guarantees) of peace besides restraining their hands, seize them and slay them wherever ye get them: In their case We have provided you with a clear argument against them.
Principle of “eye for an eye”
• 2:178-179 O ye who believe! the law of equality is prescribed to you in cases of murder: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the woman for the woman. But if any remission is made by the brother of the slain, then grant any reasonable demand, and compensate him with handsome gratitude, this is a concession and a Mercy from your Lord. After this whoever exceeds the limits shall be in grave penalty. In the Law of Equality there is (saving of) Life to you, o ye men of understanding; that ye may restrain yourselves.
• 2:190-194 Fight in the cause of God those who fight you, but do not transgress limits; for God loveth not transgressors. And slay them wherever ye catch them, and turn them out from where they have Turned you out; for tumult and oppression are worse than slaughter; but fight them not at the Sacred Mosque, unless they (first) fight you there; but if they fight you, slay them. Such is the reward of those who suppress faith. But if they cease, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. And fight them on until there is no more Tumult or oppression, and there prevail justice and faith in God; but if they cease, Let there be no hostility except to those who practise oppression. The prohibited month for the prohibited month,- and so for all things prohibited,- there is the law of equality. If then any one transgresses the prohibition against you, Transgress ye likewise against him. But fear God, and know that God is with those who restrain themselves.
• 3:140 If a wound hath touched you, be sure a similar wound hath touched the others.
• 42:40-43 The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from God: for (God) loveth not those who do wrong. But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress men and wrong-doing and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice: for such there will be a penalty grievous. But indeed if any show patience and forgive, that would truly be an exercise of courageous will and resolution in the conduct of affairs.
Don’t be friends with non-Muslims
• 3:28 Let not the believers Take for friends or helpers Unbelievers rather than believers: if any do that, in nothing will there be help from God: except by way of precaution, that ye may Guard yourselves from them.
• 3:118 O ye who believe! Take not into your intimacy those outside your ranks: They will not fail to corrupt you. They only desire your ruin: Rank hatred has already appeared from their mouths: What their hearts conceal is far worse. We have made plain to you the Signs, if ye have wisdom.
• 4:144 O ye who believe! Take not for friends unbelievers rather than believers: Do ye wish to offer God an open proof against yourselves?
• 5:54 O ye who believe! take not the Jews and the Christians for your friends and protectors: They are but friends and protectors to each other. And he amongst you that turns to them (for friendship) is of them. Verily God guideth not a people unjust.
• 6:159 As for those who divide their religion and break up into sects, thou hast no part in them in the least: their affair is with God: He will in the end tell them the truth of all that they did.
• 60:1,8-9 O ye who believe! Take not my enemies and yours as friends (or protectors),- offering them (your) love, even though they have rejected the Truth that has come to you, and have (on the contrary) driven out the Prophet and yourselves (from your homes), (simply) because ye believe in God your Lord! If ye have come out to strive in My Way and to seek My Good Pleasure, (take them not as friends), holding secret converse of love (and friendship) with them: for I know full well all that ye conceal and all that ye reveal. And any of you that does this has strayed from the Straight Path. … God forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for (your) Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for God loveth those who are just. God only forbids you, with regard to those who fight you for (your) Faith, and drive you out of your homes, and support (others) in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship and protection). It is such as turn to them (in these circumstances), that do wrong.
There seems to be a contradiction here. In some verses, Muhammad says not to take any unbelievers, Jews or Christians as friends. In another verse, he says only to avoid unbelievers who fight against Muslims.
Apostates are accursed
• 3:85-87 If anyone desires a religion other than Islam (submission to God), never will it be accepted of him; and in the Hereafter He will be in the ranks of those who have lost (All spiritual good). How shall God Guide those who reject Faith after they accepted it and bore witness that the Apostle was true and that Clear Signs had come unto them? but God guides not a people unjust. Of such the reward is that on them (rests) the curse of God, of His angels, and of all mankind;-
• 2:217 And if any of you Turn back from their faith and die in unbelief, their works will bear no fruit in this life and in the Hereafter; they will be companions of the Fire and will abide therein.
• 16:106-110 Any one who, after accepting faith in God, utters Unbelief,- except under compulsion, his heart remaining firm in Faith – but such as open their breast to Unbelief, on them is Wrath from God, and theirs will be a dreadful Penalty. This because they love the life of this world better than the Hereafter: and God will not guide those who reject Faith. Those are they whose hearts, ears, and eyes God has sealed up, and they take no heed. Without doubt, in the Hereafter they will perish. But verily thy Lord,- to those who leave their homes after trials and persecutions,- and who thereafter strive and fight for the faith and patiently persevere,- Thy Lord, after all this is oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
God regards women as inferior to men
• 37:149-155 Now ask them their opinion: Is it that thy Lord has (only) daughters, and they have sons?- Or that We created the angels female, and they are witnesses (thereto)? Is it not that they say, from their own invention, “God has begotten children”? but they are liars! Did He (then) choose daughters rather than sons? What is the matter with you? How judge ye? Will ye not then receive admonition?
Stay away from menstruating women
• 2:222 They ask thee concerning women’s courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by God. For God loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean.
Nobody can marry Muhammad’s widows after he is dead
• 33:53 And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs. Nor is it right for you that ye should… marry his [Muhammad’s] widows after him at any time. Truly such a thing is in God’s sight an enormity.
Muhammad’s wives should stay in their houses
• 33:32-33 O Consorts of the Prophet! … stay quietly in your houses, and make not a dazzling display, like that of the former Times of Ignorance;
Muhammad decides to marry his adopted son’s wife, despite objections
The prophet Muhammad forced his adopted son, Zaid, to divorce his wife so that Muhammad could marry her. This was scandalous for the community, but Muhammad claimed he did this because God told him to, and he told the Muslims they had no right to question his decisions. Most people thought the real reason was because Muhammad lusted after a married woman and used his authority over the community to do whatever he desired, which seems like a more likely explanation.
• 33:36-39 It is not fitting for a Believer, man or woman, when a matter has been decided by God and His Apostle to have any option about their decision: if any one disobeys God and His Apostle, he is indeed on a clearly wrong Path. Behold! Thou didst say to one who had received the grace of God and thy favour: “Retain thou (in wedlock) thy wife, and fear God.” But thou didst hide in thy heart that which God was about to make manifest: thou didst fear the people, but it is more fitting that thou shouldst fear God. Then when Zaid had dissolved (his marriage) with her, with the necessary (formality), We joined her in marriage to thee [Muhammad]: in order that (in future) there may be no difficulty to the Believers in (the matter of) marriage with the wives of their adopted sons, when the latter have dissolved with the necessary (formality) (their marriage) with them. And God’s command must be fulfilled. There can be no difficulty to the Prophet in what God has indicated to him as a duty. It was the practice (approved) of God amongst those of old that have passed away. And the command of God is a decree determined. (It is the practice of those) who preach the Messages of God, and fear Him, and fear none but God. And enough is God to call (men) to account.
First all the bastards(islamic haters) listen i had already givenexplanation that islam did not permit to beat wife. These bastards are using the quran passage that quran allows man to have 4 wives while not for women. Yes It is given bastards but it depends upon women whether she allows man to havefour wives or not. If a woman knows that a man is already married what is the reason she marries a man who is already married. Now who is responsiblefor polygamy of man it is only women who wants to become 2nd 3rd or 4th wife of a man who is already married and why a women marries a man which had already divorced a women and whose charecter is bad when islam gives right to women to marry a muslim which she like.
These bastards are saying that islam encourages mutta marriage but these bastards do not know that this marriage is already banned in islam. Ok if mutta marriage is happned in some parts of islamic countries but who is responsible. If a women knows that this marriage will last for 4 months or more why she do this marriage and then start saying that islam oppress women. These bastards are saying that muslim girls are not allowed to get education. Bastards tell me where it is written in quran thatwomen should not get education. Instead of it it is given in hadith that it is duty of every muslims to get educated. Now if women are not allowed to get education why you bastards are blaming islam it is there culture not islam. Women do not get education in afghantstan due to terrorist organisation taliban which is creation of america.
Then start saying islam did not allow women to get educated.
Bastards are blaming islam that women is sexiual object and sheshould fill sexiual desire of husband at any condition while there is no need of husband to fill sexiual desires of wife but these bastards forget
…And Women Shall Have Rights Over MenSimilar To Those For Men Over Women.
( Surah 2: Ayah 228). If this is allowed what is the need of above ayah in quran. Above ayah of quran gives that rights of women to demand sex from husband as it is given to husband to demand sex from wife.
Bastards are blaming islam on FGM but these bastards did not that FGM IS NOT ISLAMIC CONCEPTBUT IT IS CULTURE vist
http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.juragentium.org/topics/women/en/touzenis.htm&sa=U&ei=tYhJUf6KN6eniQK-v4C4Bw&ved=0CDEQFjAIOBQ&usg=AFQjCNF4hu2motoCbuX1tNUBmeTca11xYQ
this site will show that fgm is not islamic
Thanks Admn.sir.
That is what I have been thinking to start doing job and slowly become independent to break the shackle of islamic religion.
I have been inspired by my wellwishers to do so.Shall be exploring possibility of getting some job.
Shall give updatelateron.
Always in pray almighty to help me and rescue from the existing agony.
To all Muslim girls,
Get top notch education and be financially independent. This is only way to your freedom from injustice. If you can not do it, expect Hell Fire (from your Muslim husbands) in THIS life.
Firoza,
Start doing a small part time job, even 4 hours per week. Slowly and slowly progress there or change for another job. THIS life is not worth wasting to serve your cruel master. Trust yourself. Have confidence in you. Don’t look back for what happened in the past. Look forward, golden days are waiting for you (give 5 years, sorry it takes time).
Temporary marriage was not banned at the beginning just as alcohol or slavery was not banned. So if a man came to town where he has no acquaintances, so he ‘marries’ for a fixed time depending on his stay in the town, the woman looks after his provisions and prepares his food, until the verse was revealed: “If you are in desperation and cannot afford a wife then marry a slave as you are all equal in the eys of God. But it is better that you have patience.” 4:25
[edit]Shia view
Shi’a believe that Umar ibn al-Khattab abolished it, not the Prophet of Islam.He is accused of publicly confessing to challenging the Prophet by saying: “I forbid you mutah which the Prophet allowed!” [1]
He did it during the third year of his reign, 15 ah (637 CE), 6 year after the revelation of verse 4:24, in the Hadith of Umar’s speech of forbidding Mut’ah, but since he, according to them, had no authority to do so, Umar’s prohibition seems to have been temporary and applicable to one place, hence must be ignored (Muslim 2801 1, 2).
However, like with so many narrations there are different versions and so to deduce which narration is closer to the truth, the facts surrounding the incidents need to be considered. Here are some relevant facts regarding the report that Umar removed mutah and publicly accepted to going against the Prophet Muhammad.
Facts
The man who was doing mutah at the time of Umar was Ibn Harith. Ibn Harith was known for the lies he said and was caught lying when he denied making a young slave girl pregnant and then refused to accept the child. When Umar caught him he said that the Prophet had allowed such things.
When Umar asked for collaboration of what he claimed then both Sunni and Shia sources say that Ali stood on the side against mutah saying: “It was forbidden many times like eating the meat of the donkey!”
There were no children being born of mutah in the time of the Prophet in Medina once the Nikkah laws were established. As in Arab culture a child is named after the father we dont see any examples of boys who carried the names of their ‘temporary fathers.’ The only one which is mentioned is Zubair and he remained ashamed of it as his conception happened in Mecca when pagan laws were still followed by new converts.
The Prophet never did it in Mecca or Medina despite facing so many circumstances in which it could have been justified for him to do so.
When Umar stamped it out there was no opposition. The caliphs to follow did not reinstate it – nor Ali brought it back during his rule as forth caliph. However, when Umar tried to put a maximum ceiling on how much a woman can charge as dowry for marriage then every woman in Medina spoke against him and he had to remove his law.
Abdullah bin Abbas who came to support Ibn Harith also changed his mind and said it was only allowed by the Prophet in desperation during the transitions from jaliliya to Islam. He compared mutah to eating pig in desperation.
The story that says that two men were desperate for sex while travelling in the desert wanted to castrate themselves and so the Prophet allowed them to seek a woman for mutah. This story has too many gaps for it to be taken seriously as the story relies on the possibility of finding a young slender beautiful woman sitting along the desert and then agreeing to having sex for an old blanket.
[edit]formula of al mutah
The formula for solemnizing the permanent marriage is as follows: The woman says to the man: “Zawwaj-tuka nafsi bi mahrin qadruhu x — I give myself to you in marriage for the marriage gift which is x.” (In place of “x” mention the agreed marriage dowry [mahr].) The man immediately says, “Qabiltut tazweej — I accept the marriage.” The formula for solemnizing the temporary marriage is as follows: The woman says to the man: ““Zawwaj-tuka nafsi bi mahrin qadruhu (x) li muddati (x) — I give myself to you in marriage for the dowry of (x) for the time period (x).” (In place of first “x” mention the agreed mahr and in place of the second “x” mention the agreed time.) The man immediately says, “Qabiltut tazweej — I accept the marriage.
[edit]The Conditions of Temporary marriage
The woman has to say that I have wedded you myself and she must state the time period and the dowry. The man has to say that he accepted the marriage. The time period and the dowry have to be defined. the woman whose marriage was consummated (sexually) must finish her Iddat (period in which the woman can not remarry); in case she wants to marry another person. Its Iddat finishes in two menstrual periods. Therefore, she is legitimately prohibited to remarry before the termination of Iddat. Whereas, if her marriage was not consummated (sexually), she will not observe an Iddat and she has the right to conclude immediately a marriage contract with another man The woman has to be either Muslim or from the People of the Book (Christian or Jew).
It is allowed to conclude a temporary marriage with a virgin (never married) if she is an adult, since she has the right to wed herself without the permission of her guardian, but other considerations should be taken into account – like bad reputation the girl might acquire or that she might put herself in a dangerous situation, since it is illegal to endanger oneself in Islamic law even if it were in marriage.
[edit]Use
The Nikah al-Mut‘ah is used various ways:
It is used in modern times when people move from one place to another, such as from one country to another. Thus students, workers, scholars may enter into a contractual marriage under the verse of the Qur’an which allows ones emotional needs and human needs to be fulfilled if they are in another country. It always lead to permanent marriage afterwards.
It may be used to become mahram (unmarriable) with somebody with whom they do not intend to cohabit or have a married relationship, but with whom they spend a lot of time (for example, share a house). In order to ease the hijab “modest dress” rules, they engage in a nikah al-Mut‘ah, specifying in the marriage contract that no physical contact is allowed.
Two people who live under the same roof but are not mahram (unmarriable) and must observe hijab may engage in a symbolic nikah al-mut‘ah with the others’ offspring for a few minutes. The Nikahu’l-Mut‘ah does not need to have any practical consequence, but it will make the parent and the offspring’s husband or wife permanently mahram to each other, and thus no longer obliged to observe hijab rules.
Young unmarried couples may decide to use nikahu l-Mut‘ah as a permissible alternative to entering into a relationship on the premise of future permanent marriage.
It might also be seen as a cover for legalized prostitution, as the nikahu l-Mut’ah can last for as little as half an hour, and the woman receives financial compensation. In accordance with the Quran she must wait three months (iddah) before the next contract.[2]
[edit]Rules
Nikah al-Mut‘ah resembles an ordinary conventional marriage in many, but not all, aspects. It commences in the same way as a Nikah except that a date of expiration for the marriage is added to the marriage contract and the wife’s rights are restricted to some extent. The duration is decided by the couple involved. There are no restrictions on minimum and maximum duration. If the period is longer than what can be reasonably expected to be a lifetime, it will transform into a nikah.
During the period of the marriage, the couple are considered husband and wife, just as in a permanent marriage. At the expiration, the marriage is voided without undergoing a talaq (divorce). In case of sexual intercourse, the woman must observe the iddah (waiting period) before she can marry anyone else.
[edit]Differences from permanent marriage
Nikah Mut’a is referred to as a marriage but since it has no divorce it means that it was more of a contract that dissolves rather than a marriage where divorce tries to deal with issues like children’s welfare, legalities if cruelty or unfairness has happened,possibility of reconciliation etc
The contract is agreed to be voided after a pre-set time. Hence there are no expectations on either side of any continuation of the relationship.
The husband may void the Nikahu l-Mut‘ah earlier than agreed. A wife can’t.If he does and they have had sexual intercourse, he must give her full mahr “bride gift”. If they have not had intercourse, he must give her half that amount, though the recommended precaution is that he should give her full mahr. A distinction between a talaq (divorce) in a nikah and voiding a nikahu l-mut‘ah is made in a conversation reported in a hadith collection.[3]
The couple do not inherit from each other. Since the marriage is not permanent, the couple is not considered a single, merged unit.
The husband is financially responsible for any children resulting from the marriage. As it is believed that a woman should not be burdened with the responsibility of providing for a family, she is allowed to work and spend her money as she chooses.Hence it is not an equal partnership
The wife may go out of her home against her husband’s will.In a permanent marriage a wife needs to get approval of the husband.
The husband need not pay for the wife’s expenses. This complements the above point.
It is permitted to marry a woman from Ahl al-Kitab “People of the Book” (followers of monotheistic religions). The difference in jurisprudence between different religions is overcome by this rule. It is understood that the Shia Nikah does not have an equivalent form among the People of the Book. Therefore, women who are of the People of the Book are unaccustomed to the special rules of Nikah, for example, the husband’s responsibility for the wife’s expenses or the wife’s not leaving her house against the husband’s wishes. These difference in religious laws make it desirable to wait with the higher level of commitment that Nikah requires until they are overcome, in order to minimize potential friction in family life.
The wives are not counted toward the maximum of four. Since the husband is not required to support the wife, and the marriage is not permanent, the circumstances leading to the restriction of having no more than four wives does not apply.
If a child is born then the man has a last say to accept the child to be his or not. If he refuses to acknowledge the child then his word will count and the woman will be lashed 70 times for fornication
Firoza,
You write so well, you must be educated and intelligent. It is okay to trust on Allah but you have to work for it yourself. Start from a small stuff. Find a small paying part time job. This way you have an opportunity to get out of home. Slowly you will gain experience and over next 5 years you could be little more financially independent. Even you are poor, but it is better to live a life with dignity.