aanchal says: November 20, 2013 at 8:38 pm
I am 27 years old, and Hindu – Brahmin. Born and Raised in California.
My boyfriend is 28 years old, and South Indian – Christian. Born and Raised in Australia.
We have only been going out for a few months, and have already started to talk about becoming serious. We love each other and my boyfriend and I have talked about getting married.
The problem is, both sets of parents (his and mine) think that he needs to find a christian girl, and I need to find a hindu boy.
We feel like we are compatible enough…and have thought of the idea of having two weddings. A traditional Hindu wedding and a wedding in a church. We also said, that if we were to get married and have childeren, they would know both cultures equally.
To conclude, I dont know what to do about our parents. Do we continue into a relationship not knowing how far it will go? Or do we break it off now to avoid being more attached to each other?
Has anyone had religious parents in this situation, and have found a compromise or solution?
All responses will be appreciated.
Thank you. -Anchor
Admin says:
Dear Aanchal,
You have come to a right site for guidance. Lets work on it over years, we will be here to guide you.
What else you expected from parents? Even if you find a non-Brahmin Hindu or a Jain, they would react the same. Their reaction is normal, however they do not realize the reality of life today. In America, 38% of Hindus marry to Abrahamics and 45% of Muslims marry to non-Muslims. This rate will increase over years.
You are already 27 years old and probably financially independent. You parents had chances to present you with a right life mate from Brahmin community and have not succeeded yet. So give them another chance and ask them to bring more proposals for you to look at. Meantime, you try to understand who really the Christian guy is and if he is really compatible with you?
Majority of Christians in America are open minded and tolerant to people form other faiths. However, do not assume your boy friend is the same type.
First, you said, “we were to get married”, how? Are you going to get married in a Church? Are you ready to sign a one sided pre-nuptial that your children will be Christians only?
Second you said, ” have childeren, they would know both cultures equally”. This is very confusing statement and could trap you. Tell him that, yes, children will be taught from both cultures, we will have a big Christmas tree in home, we will teach them about Jesus, we will go to his church when time permits and enjoy Easter egg hunt with children, BUT WE WILL NOT BAPTIZE CHILDREN. Is that okay? Please get back to us what he says. We are waiting.Why should Idol worshipers (of all concerned religions) keep that practices continued?
Let me try to explain even I am not a supporter of idol worshiping, I don’t oppose that practice.
I m hindu &my gf is Christian I m dating with her. I have positive think.I love her very much &anything do for her so I wish to Marriage with her♡♥
Hi Darshan,
Lets assume both sets of parents are ready, can you tell us how are you planning to get married? After your marriage, is she going to be a part of joint Hindu family or you are going to live somewhere away from your parents?
Aanchal
If you love and obedient to your boy friend more than your parents and don`t care or bother whether they will be hurt or not then without wasting any time just get him married wishing your parents good bye
for ever keeping in mind that you may get the same treatment from your children.
Md.Ziaul-Haque,B.Sc, LLB, Alim(Cal)
Advocate
I apologize, I wasn’t clear…
What I wanted to say was that my boyfriend and I have talked about getting married. We feel like we are compatible enough…and have thought of the idea of having two weddings. A traditional Hindu wedding and a wedding in a church.
We also talked about having kids in the future, and said that we would follow both of our faiths in the best way we could. We didn’t talk about being baptized.
After reading your response, I think I need to talk to him more about his views.
Ask your boyfriend to come on this site and explain if baptism is a part of married life he was thinking about. In general, if the couple join here, you both will gain a lot.
Dear Aanchal,
You have come to a right site for guidance. Lets work on it over years, we will be here to guide you.
What else you expected from parents? Even if you find a non-Brahmin Hindu or a Jain, they would react the same. Their reaction is normal, however they do not realize the reality of life today. In America, 38% of Hindus marry to Abrahamics and 45% of Muslims marry to non-Muslims. This rate will increase over years.
You are already 27 years old and probably financially independent. You parents had chances to present you with a right life mate from Brahmin community and have not succeeded yet. So give them another chance and ask them to bring more proposals for you to look at. Meantime, you try to understand who really the Christian guy is and if he is really compatible with you?
Majority of Christians in America are open minded and tolerant to people form other faiths. However, do not assume your boy friend is the same type.
First, you said, “we were to get married”, how? Are you going to get married in a Church? Are you ready to sign a one sided pre-nuptial that your children will be Christians only?
Second you said, ” have childeren, they would know both cultures equally”. This is very confusing statement and could trap you. Tell him that, yes, children will be taught from both cultures, we will have a big Christmas tree in home, we will teach them about Jesus, we will go to his church when time permits and enjoy Easter egg hunt with children, BUT WE WILL NOT BAPTIZE CHILDREN. Is that okay? Please get back to us what he says. We are waiting.