Sandhya says: September 6, 2015 at 5:21 pm
Vanitha.. I was feeling the same before marriage. I am married to a christian as well and Baptized. Even if he doesnt baptise and marries you… I am assuring that it will be hell. Ypu already have seen his changes sp far. I am in the verge of divorce. My husband also dis the same drama. He attempted suicide to marry me. Now he drinks often, doesnt show interest in building a career, flirts with other women and still argues that following hinduism is a sin. -Sandya
Sandhya says: September 6, 2015 at 6:26 pm
Dear admin,
My story is same as hinu. And i am seeking a proper solution. I am with a kid.
I met my boy friend thru one of my friends – a girl. Everyone including me thought they were thick friends. Even they declared they were friends. But they had a secret physical relationship. But my boyfriend cheated on her and fell in love with me. That girl attempted suicide but he denied his relationship with her. She was hospitalised and he had sex with her in the hospital after falling in love with me on my birthday night. I dint know all this and was under the impression that she was just jealous and possessive about her friend. Like wat he projected it to me. Then he completely avoided her and was enjoying the fresh chapter with me.
After a few months he disclosed that the truth with that girl. I fought with him and left him. He attempted suicide andwas behind me for months. I went back to him impressed by his drama and believed that there’s only one love in my life and thats him. He claimed out of his age and sex urge he made a mistake but he loves only me truly.
The love life for 7 yrs went on. Both parents opposed. Later his parents were ready to get us married if i get baptized, which i was not ready for. my boy friend totally understood my points but cudnt convince his parents for having a marriage without conversion. My parents were totally against. As years went , i got frustrated abt not getting married to him. He slowly brainwashed me that our marriage will be easier if i got baptized atleast for his parents sake. And i got baptized without my parents knowledge just like a fool to get married to him. I had a church wedding. Now its been 3 years since we got married and there had been lots and lots of arguements and fights to claim my rights for equality or freedom to practice hinduism and celebrate hindu festivals. I tried explaining logically, practically, lovingly, to him and to his parents. Nothing worked. During my pregnancy period also i had this pressur
I was at my parents place for around a year at the time of birth of my baby boy, due to this friction and stated that i wud not get back until the issues are solved. He didnt even visit my place even to see the baby. However he made his prescence at the time of birth but still behaved indifferently to me.
Later He kept convincing me over the phone to come back and live and lets not abt religion saying love is important than anything else. After i got he was kind of loving and din make any issues as far as i am concerned but still showed that he’s upset abt me going to temples and now recently there came up a big arguement that our son shud not be exposed to hinduism. Also From the beginning he keeps insulting my parents as they r financially very weak. Now again i have come to my parents place because it gets so messy to fight in front of the 1.9 year old kid. He becomea violent and the kid gets terrified seeing us.
I left the house leaving a note that i wud never come back until i get my rights. He got angry and didnt contact me for about a now.
And then came the next shock. I came to know from my friend that he was trying to flirt with her on fb chats during late nights in abscence. I felt yuckkkkk.. Am social and open. He imposes a lot of rules over me. But he poses himself so conservative and still does all this. So i think there must be many other secret chats that i wud never ever come to know about. How do i trust him that he’s not cheating on me seriously.
His earnings are sufficient to run a family with the kid. He doesnt allow me to work as i have to leave my kid with my mom where he wud get influenced. FYI my kid is also baptized.
With all this..
1) Shud i divorce him. I feel so. But what happens to my kid’s future. If living with him is a considerable option
2) i want myself and my kid to practice hinduism equal to christianity. We both are baptized. Is there any legal way to get out of it.
3) Will i have the full power over my son’s conversion to hinduism. -Sandya
Admin says:
All Hindus in love with a Christian or a Muslim should know that both these religions are absolutely exclusivist. They believe only they will go to heaven while ALL Hindus will go to hell (Read Gandhi). To Hindus, learn this simple history…. Christians and Muslims are two brothers of the father Abraham, that is why both faiths are called Abrahamics. Further, they cannot tolerate each other and millions and millions have been killed in the name of God. Christians have wiped out many many cultures (like Inka culture in Peru). Still today, as you could read and see, thousands are being killed every day in the Middle East. Where did they learned these killing and hating others from? They learned from their Bible and Koran (read your self and judge), absolute exclusivist books. Lately, Christians in Europe are showing true humanity (read; see photo). Overall Western Christians have changed but Muslims have a long way to go. Here, Sandya is the latest victim of religious intolerance by Indian Christian churches.
Major fault on Sandya’s side is she FAKE-converted to Christianity without understanding. We highly recommend all youths not to FAKE-convert, never! Ever! You are creating hell in two families (by asking fake-conversion and by fake-converting).
Dear Sandya,
Sorry to hear of your ordeal. He was not trust worth person and was a playboy from the first day. If you wish to keep even 5% Hinduism, you will not be happy with him. Christians (and Muslims) will not allow Hindus to be even 5% Hindu in their homes or even your own parent’s home. Absolute intolerance is fundamental teachings of their faiths. On both these points, we recommend divorce from him. Think that was a bad dream and start a brand new life.
Your major issue will be your son. If you take a divorce, you will have difficulty getting child custody because you must have signed a pre-Nuptial agreement that your children will be Christian only (is that true?). Can you survive without money from your husband (less likely you will get money from him)?
You said your parents are not wealthy. If you take your son with you, then how will you support him/you? Is it possible that you go back to work and your parents take care of your son?
If your son is with you, you could always teach him what ever you wish to. Even your son is baptized, on top, you could convert your son to Hinduism (from a temple or Arya Samaj) and legally document it (but don’t tell them). Once your son is an adult, he could always denounce any faith by signing an affidavit and accept any other faith of his choice. It does not matter what faith label a child is carrying, but what you teach him is important (start with this Bible). Sorry, your married life become a battle ground of who’s god is true one!
Since you both are Christians, you have less legal rights to raise a child as a Hindu. However, if you do teach them about Hinduism, there is nothing illegal about it. They cannot go to court for it because there is nothing to prove. The court battle is very expensive for them. If needed, instead of the court, you start playing the media game (call all reporters and make a big show in front of their church). Tell media that your conversion to Christianity was fake. You were given wrong impression and promises. You converted out of undue pressure from in-laws. Show it to the world the dirty side of Christianity and they will withdraw their case against you.
We will work with you. Let us know how else we could help? -Admin
Also read: Interfaith marriage with equality (Video), Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity.
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Admin, that is one of the crappiest advice you can give to anyone. You should first stop running RSS agenda here.
I have read several comments about Christians killing people, really ? You are going to reference a 16th century occurrence in every discourse now. Why are you not talking about Christian being killed during every elections in India? Nuns raped and churches burned by the peace loving Hindu’s ?
Now you are advising Sandhya to divorce, convert her son secretly without father’s knowledge etc. If you were sane person, you would have advised them to go for counseling.
Would you have given the same advice if both spouses were from the same religion ?
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Sandhya, Your story sounds a little too colorful to believe. How come you are this devta and your husband is this rakshasa ?
Why did you both even get married if religion was so important for both of you than your love for each other? The best thing you can do is think if you are still in love with him. If not get a divorce. That will give both of you a second chance to be happy with your lives. And don’t try to mess it up again.
About your son, it is best that you tell him the truth that his plight is caused by both of his parents religion. Truth is that your fanatic Hinduism is as much to be blamed as his fanatic Christianity.
Let him grow up as an atheist. That way he won’t make the same mistakes like his parents.
There are many Christians girls marrying Hindus and Muslims. They convert to Hinduism or Islam and live for their love because no religion is bigger than love. And there are Hindu girls converted to Christian faith also. They also live happily because they don’t breath religion. They love their family. When that happens, nothing else matters.
There are so many same caste/religion marriages ending up in divorces because of adultery, financial or some other reason. So stop blaming religions and others for your failure.
Nobody else is the reason for the failures in your life. You are.
So own up your mistakes in the marriage and move out of it, if you feel you are stuck in a loveless marriage.
Jacob,
We already said “Christians in Europe are getting sensible now” and must say they are truly following Jesus’ messages of Love Thy Neighbours. What Germans and others doing today for Muslim refugees is commendable and admirable. Instead of thinking that these Muslims could create problems for them in the future, they are thinking what is right to do today. We are sure those migrant Muslims will not forget Christians’ selfless service today. Christians like Bill Gates and Warren Buffet are opening their life savings for benefit of all. We bow to those Christians. We wish Saudi Sunnis, Indian Christian and Hindus learn from today’s European Christians.
We believe this religions “labeling” has no place in an interfaith marriage with equality. Christianity has been stuck in throat of Sandhya and that is not going to go a long way.
We fully agree mistakes of Sandya. First, as we said before, she should not have fake-convert. Second, she knew the boy as a playboy fluttering between two (or many) girls, and still she decided to marry him. Now she is paying price for her choice. Ideally she should have known that what goes, will come around.
On child labeling, her child is baptized against her wishes (even she may not have expressed it). If that is the case, she could null it by counter labeling it, if that gives her piece of mind.
We said before, “It does not matter what faith label a child is carrying”, this labeling has no value. Ideally making that child a good human is more important than giving a specific religious label. We agree 100% to you that, ideally, keep both labels out and let the child decide as an adult (like Barack Obama did), even child decides to be an atheist.
Jacob, what do you believe on Christian’s core teaching that all non-Baptized (including Muslims) will go to hell? What do you think of all churches making the non-Christian spouse sign this per-Nuptial agreement? Do you believe in the Judgment Day? Will Allah (described by Muhammad) or Jesus will come back on the Judgment Day?