Mathew says: January 14, 2017 at 3:27 am
Hi,
I am a Christian Marthoma Guy and I’m in a relation with a Hindu girl. My parents have agreed for the wedding only if she converts. She has agreed on converting as well, but her family is not willing to accept it. They want us to get married in as per the Special Marriage Act as she is going to remain as a Hindu at the time of marriage and If I agree to that it is going to be without the knowledge of my parents, and then later she can convert and we both can have the ceremonial wedding in the church. I would like to know if that could be registered legally.
Thanks in Advance. -Mathew
Mathew says: January 14, 2017 at 9:37 am
Thank you for the quick response. I appreciate it.
It took almost 2 years for us to convince my parents, and they have finally agreed for the relationship if she converts. We thought her parents would be fine with anything, but in the end when my parents agreed, her parents does not want her to convert.
That is why we are planning to have a register marriage under the SMA which is likely to happen in Chennai to keep her side of the family happy and then later she converts to a christian and then we have the wedding in the church which would be in Kerala. I need to register that marriage as the church asks for a copy of the registration. I wonder how it works then, we will be already having the Certificate of SMA from the TamilNadu Government and then register again here?? I really dont know how it works.
I stay abroad with my parents and the marriage certificate would be required to apply for her visa. My parents might come across the certificates then and its not going to be well when they see the SMA Certificate.
Im going to be alright if she visits the temple or continue the practice as there might be occasions in her family for which she will have to attend. I am completely alright with all that. She is ready to convert since my parents want it that way and the wedding has to happen in the church.
Please let me know how the 2nd registration is going to work or if the 2nd registration is going to override the 1st one. -Mathew
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Hi..I am a Hindu and I am in love with a Christian Marthomite guy..My parents are also agreeing for my marriage with him..I want to convert to marthomite..we both are from kerala..please let me know the procedure to convert..Its urgent
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=12712
Dear Admin,
I understand what you say. Initially when my parents disagreed to this relationship. We both had a discussion and she agreed to do the conversion as she was alright with doing it as she is an Atheist. She started going to a church with a friend and started liking the Bible teachings after listening the pastors messages.The confusion began when her parents dint allow for the conversion which we dint expect to happen.
Anyways, Both of us have decided to go forward with the christian marriage, but We just wanted to see if we could keep her parents happy as well. But I dont understand her family side, they want the register marriage to be done as per the SMA, and then they are alright with the conversion and the church marriage.If they could allow for that, then they could just directly allow for the christian wedding without all this complication of the register marriage.
Why any parents will want to let go their heritage? Your parents will not, so why you expect her parents to do that?
Other thing, she may be liked your church out of novelty, but later when she learn of many restrictions and that she does not have liberty to express herself as a Hindu, she will protest.
Forget this conversion business. Be a progressive thinker like Jesus. Teach something new to your church and parents. This is our message, let us know if you don’t agree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hlAuY85RlcE
Thank you for the quick response. I appreciate it.
It took almost 2 years for us to convince my parents, and they have finally agreed for the relationship if she converts. We thought her parents would be fine with anything, but in the end when my parents agreed, her parents does not want her to convert.
That is why we are planning to have a register marriage under the SMA which is likely to happen in Chennai to keep her side of the family happy and then later she converts to a christian and then we have the wedding in the church which would be in Kerala. I need to register that marriage as the church asks for a copy of the registration. I wonder how it works then, we will be already having the Certificate of SMA from the TamilNadu Government and then register again here?? I really dont know how it works.
I stay abroad with my parents and the marriage certificate would be required to apply for her visa. My parents might come across the certificates then and its not going to be well when they see the SMA Certificate.
Im going to be alright if she visits the temple or continue the practice as there might be occasions in her family for which she will have to attend. I am completely alright with all that. She is ready to convert since my parents want it that way and the wedding has to happen in the church.
Please let me know how the 2nd registration is going to work or if the 2nd registration is going to override the 1st one.
Mathew,
Our major concern is you are not doing what you wish to do or that is logical, but is out pleasing every one else. Grow up! Now you are an adult, and you should think critical what is right and what is wrong. If Jesus was a progressive thinker, why would you not be today?
To please others, you are making lies and deception a foundation of your married life. This is wrong.
1) She should convert only she wishes to be 100% Christian and 0% Hindu. Why to lie to Jesus, God, Church and your parents?
2) You know your Marthoma sect is very antique type and with may rigid thought process (not progressive like Jesus). Is this not a time to tell them to grow up?
3) This “I need to register that marriage as the church asks for a copy of the registration” is truth. You cannot register your (first) marriage with Indian government twice. Once you do your SMA, you will have to go through regular divorce proceedings before you can have a legal registrable second marriage. What we said is truth, that you can have SMA marriage registration and then have Buddhist, Hindu, Christian, Jew, Jain weddings as far you are not going to Indian government to register it.
Mathew, Jesus taught us to be progressive thinker, now it is time for you to be progressive!
What else we can tell you?
Two adults can marry by the Special Marriage Act 1954, there is no religious limitation on it. In India, the first marriage is a legally valid marriage. After that, you can have as many marriages as you wish. Your marriage will be dictated by the SMA laws. Her parents have proposed a good idea. Go for it!
Are you also going to have a Hindu wedding (after the SMA)?
After marriage, do you have to live with your parents?
Are you okay if later she keeps visiting Hindu mandir and continue practicing some of Hindu practices (even she is converted)?