Narsi says: November 7, 2017 at 1:12 pm
Hi, I’m married to a Christian girl and I’m Hindu, whom I’m with in love from past 4yrs. Before Marriage she used to practice all hindu cultures like coming to temples and putting sindur. We got married in unacceptance by both parents and married at Arya samaj. But once we married she started refusing even me to practice hindu practices.. I’m totally confused I’m frustrated now. -Narsi
Narsi says: January 15, 2018 at 1:03 pm (Edit)
Thank you so much for your response.
Yes we married at “Arya samaj”, later after 1 month we gone for court marriage by her force. Im not having any issues with her religion, i will respect what she beliefs and what she follows because i love her how she was. i don’t want her to be my slave. Il give her freedom and space for her beliefs and religion and individuality.
The problem what i facing is “i am losing my individuality ? ” some times i feel like im no more ?
Basically im not much religious person (before marriage also i will not go to temples often), but i have some my beliefs and i do have some wish that my wife must be like so and so( Putting sindur, i want to go to some temples with her and so other like an normal Hindu husband wish ). And finally i losing Love and affection on her. Im doing my role as my husband perfectly expecting giving her love (im acting ? ). I dint know till where it takes… But one thing she loves me a lot but not my beliefs, my thoughts and religion that the only thing i unable to digest. I still think that she is still her Daughter rather than my Wife.
Coming to society and relatives – Whenever we visits church i will be as Christian only and also with her relatives because no one should show finger to my wife because of me. I also expect the same from her, but im not getting it return. Often we visit to my home where my parents live for any festivals, she will not participate in any Rituals and customs(even she not keeps Bindu on her forehead). I feel like my parents are thinking that i take the wrong decision in my marriage. Im avoiding the relatives functions also. Im feeling guilty on my self ?
When ever i try to explain her the things, she always starts criticizing the Hindu cultures and Gods, even i can also do on Bible but i dont want (Thats not me) so the reason i stopped talking to her in this Religious aspects.
Please suggest me what to do !!!!!!!!!!!!
More information: Interfaith marriage with equality, Hindu-Christian Marriage, Bible on Hindus? Christian-Hindu relationships, Marriage & Divorce laws.
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Hi Narsi,
Apparently now she is following the wrong side of the Bible (read), we wish she follows Jesus and not the church.
It is possible to educate her and bring her back to true love and respect for each other. List us what are her concerns and we will tell you how to explain it to her.
You said, “married at Arya samaj”, does it mean you registered your married under the Hindu Marriage Act?
Get back and lets talk more.
Thank you so much for your response.
Yes we married at “Arya samaj”, later after 1 month we gone for court marriage by her force. Im not having any issues with her religion, i will respect what she beliefs and what she follows because i love her how she was. i don’t want her to be my slave. Il give her freedom and space for her beliefs and religion and individuality.
The problem what i facing is “i am losing my individuality 🙁 ” some times i feel like im no more 🙁
Basically im not much religious person (before marriage also i will not go to temples often), but i have some my beliefs and i do have some wish that my wife must be like so and so( Putting sindur, i want to go to some temples with her and so other like an normal Hindu husband wish ). And finally i losing Love and affection on her. Im doing my role as my husband perfectly expecting giving her love (im acting 🙁 ). I dint know till where it takes… But one thing she loves me a lot but not my beliefs, my thoughts and religion that the only thing i unable to digest. I still think that she is still her Daughter rather than my Wife.
Coming to society and relatives – Whenever we visits church i will be as Christian only and also with her relatives because no one should show finger to my wife because of me. I also expect the same from her, but im not getting it return. Often we visit to my home where my parents live for any festivals, she will not participate in any Rituals and customs(even she not keeps Bindu on her forehead). I feel like my parents are thinking that i take the wrong decision in my marriage. Im avoiding the relatives functions also. Im feeling guilty on my self 🙁
When ever i try to explain her the things, she always starts criticizing the Hindu cultures and Gods, even i can also do on Bible but i dont want (Thats not me) so the reason i stopped talking to her in this Religious aspects.
Please suggest me what to do !!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Narsi,
These are common interfaith marriage problems. Issues are created due to misconceptions about each other’s faith. Only two solutions are 1) divorce and 2) education (learn to Respect and Share two faiths with Equality).
Why don’t you start with the worst case scenario. Explain to her that you truly loves her but she has to be respectful to your beliefs. If this does not happen, then we will separate with good handshakes and end this relationship. If she is truly interested in being with you and willing to adjust, you are willing to give her double love and respect and also let her practice her faith own faith in your own home.
Does this sound a reasonable start? Let us know what else. .