shaan says: December 8, 2017 at 5:06 am
hi ,
i m a catholic and my lover is hindu , i dont want her to get converted , for me its all her choice if she want to get converted . But i want to know that if she doesnt get converted will she be tagged by my surname, without converting can she get my surname if she marry me…?? –Shaan
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I haven’t been to india and don’t know much about that region. I still thought to give my two cents worth.
In my region legal marriage is so easy. Just sign the documents and call each other husband and wife. Even christian churches allow marriages without conversion.
Regarding names, my wife is ex muslim and she has used my surname from day one. Her elder sister is a muslim and married a muslim boy. She has not changed her surname.
With Shaan, assume the name thing gets sortied out. The next big question will arise when living together. After marriage how things will work at home? Is she is going to follow her own faith within the same house and will Shaan’s family practice their own. Will Shaan’s parents allow her to do that? If Shaan’s parents refuse her to practice her religion within the same house, what will be next?
Hi Amit, we did not knew you have never been to India. Where your parents were born, just curious?
On “Even christian churches allow marriages without conversion”, many Christian churches are very liberal and open minded in the West but, to our experience, are more intolerant to Hindu faith in India. To take steps to please the church is wrong. The control should be in hands of youth and their parents. Read Follow Jesus and not church.
Our message is–one should learn to share two faiths and respect with equality (the title of our book). Further, let the couple decide and not the religious institutions. Why not?
Hi Shaan, let us ask you the same question that we asked to Amit earlier. If your Catholic sister (or cousin) is in love with a Hindu boy, would you support that relationship? Would you expect her to convert to Hinduism and have only Hindu wedding and not the church wedding?
Hi Admin, my parents and great great grandparents are from Fiji. The generation before them were from India. I had got onto your site after some friend had posted the link on facebook.
I didn’t know that churches in india are more intolerant towards hinduism. I know jesus never taught others to be intolerant. I have attended christian school, 40 years old and never been to india but still value the teachings of Hinduism. My great grandmother was a muslim but everything went on my great grandfathers way.
I would prefer to follow a religion that teaches peace and love towards fellow human beings without any discrimination or force conversion when choosing a partner for marriage.
I have a belief that a women should not be given a demand to convert then only marriage would take place. It should be within her will when choosing her religion.
From my experience it is usually safe for a couple in life if they practice one religion but if the woman prefers to follow something else, her man should accept her choice.
Marriage life is like a boat with a couple in it on it’s journey. If the wife’s leg is hanging outside it (she practices different religion), there are other women out there who may want to snatch her out and take her position.
It happened to me here few times. There have been some hindu female friends who had separated from their partners and tried to lure me into a relationship. The reason was that they had thought that my wife practices islam and they would make a nice fit within my religion and keep me and my kids happy.
There was somewhere on your site i had noticed statics on people from arab and christian faiths marrying outside their religion.
If you make a tour in this region, the figures would be much similar.
From my experience in my region, more hindu girls are now more marrying within their same religion. With due respect to my islamic friends, the terror attacks and few arrested extremists, have changed the mindset of the non-muslim girls. wasn’t the case 20 years back. Also the girls prefer freedom and they choose their partner carefully so that they don’t lose that freedom.
Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13070
Thank you for concern above and your reply.
Chruch wedding is not an issue…she is ready for everything , staying at my house , chruch wedding , etc . but only thing is she is bit on a back foot when it comes for conversion. So for me its ok for her not getting coverted. But does a chruch allows a hindu girl to get married with all catholic marriage rituals WITHOUT HER GETTING CONVERTED ???.
Answer is NO. Moderate, so called secular talking Christians like you put up a good show that “I don’t believe in converting but simply wish the church marriage”. Deep inside their heart, they want to erase her Hindu identity and converting her to your intolerant religion. The Indian churches are most intolerant bodies and will look for any and all opportunity to convert a Hindu. Why it should be any different in your case? Further, the church will ask her not to have even a Hindu wedding.
Hindu girls, like your gf, are stupid because “she is ready for everything”. If you press her little, she will also convert and not have a Hindu wedding. You just play an innocent game that you never wanted her to convert but it is the church!! If you are really honest and a different Christian, go get married by the Special Marriage Act 1954 and keep the church out of married life. You will not want to covert to Hinduism so why are you making her convert to Christianity? Teach to your parents and church that it is time to stop this conversion business.
If you wanted a Church wedding, why you fall in love with a Hindu to start with? Show us that you are not a love-Jihadi out converting this Hindu girl. Can you keep your church out?
Hi Shaan,
It is honorable thought not to convert her. To your question, she can change her last name for your Special Marriage Act 1954. It does not require her conversion.
Are you sure you do not want your church wedding? Are you parents going to be okay with it? After marriage, is she going to come and live with your parents home?