Dhaval says: January 7, 2018 at 6:24 am
I am from Gujarat, a Hindu guy and my gf is muslim. I have been in relationship in more than 2 years. We want to get married but not without parents permission. I told everything to my parents. They said either choos girl or us. I want both. What can I do. We love eachother so much. Please help –Dhaval
More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
Return to Home, Blogs, How to Share? Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Book, Media.
Had been a hindu girl and muslim boy was involved in this story,, the admin and other bhakts would have Barking against islam.. And try to convince non muslim girl to leave her love.. This is the admin and page designed for… Bhakts are everywhere
Hi Amit, thanks alot for looking into our issue.
Girl is totally ready to follow my Gujarati culture. He has already started learning Gujarati language. She is doing her best.
But even after that, my father is not ready to accept her. Yesterday itself he called my girl and asked her to forget me.
I have been asked for the same.my father said if i try to continue this relationship, he will abandon our family completely. He will escape and we won’t be able to find him and this seems true to me. I don’t think he is lying. He is blaming my mother everytime.
I am really afraid.
I have been given 2 options either family or girl. My family is not ready to give me more time to think.
Tell parents that you WILL only to her. Talk (not argue) with them rationally. Give them a year or more to sink in.
Has the Muslim girl talk to her parents?
Hi Dhaval, after reading your recent reply that your girl is ready to accept your gujerati culture, i think a solution is not as difficult as we may assume. I think you can have a successful married life. Do not force her on anything when it comes to religion but let her learn at her own will.
Problem arises in married life if there are differences between couples.
In your case she is willing to adapt to your culture and have already started to learn about it. Very few girls do this. Problem is your parents thoughts and you may have to keep on the pressure trying to convince them to change their mind. To convince your parents, it may require a team work. Your friends or relatives who are supportive of you may be able to discuss with your parents on your behalf. It may take time but everything is possible.
On another note, your girls parents may definitely refuse the relationship. As you said the you are financially independent, that will tremendously assist you in making your own way if all the options fail.
Dhaval appears to be very neutral person with rational thoughts. Respects both parents and his lover.
I haven’t been to india but would contribute my 2 cents worth. My wife is a from a muslim family and i am a hindu.
Over here the Dhaval’s parents would be more happy to hear if their daughter in-law would follow their religion and culture after marriage and would keep the tradition ongoing. At the moment they are assuming it would be otherwise and they are giving an option to choose them or the girl. Whether it be hindu, muslim or christian parent, they would have similar thoughts.Its a fact of life.
In my opinion, it is the girl who will be living with the boy’s family, inheriting their name,her children inheriting fathers name and property so she has to blend with them so that everyone is on the same page to avoid confrontation.
If the girl is willing to follow Dhaval’s culture at her own will and without any force, he shall give her some time to think about it so that she doesn’t make a decision in a hurry. Later on discuss this with his family and try to introduce the girl to them and see how it goes. There should not be any pressure on the girl to change herself.
Eloping with the girl and doing legal marriage is a clear road. Each other may follow different religions but what when it comes to naming their children and deciding on the religion their children would follow, it will be a problem at that moment. Both couples get isolated from their family and relatives.
Hi Dhaval,
Sorry to hear that your parents are not willing to listen to you. We wish they take time to understand situations and discuss rationally. How about the girls Muslim parents, are they okay?
Are you financially independent? After marriage, do you have to live with your parents?
Assuming both sets of parents agreed to, how are you planning to get married? … by Hindu Vivaha? by Islamic Nikaah, by the Special Marriage Act 1954 (civil wedding) or all of these? Lets discuss more.
Thank you very much for giving thoughts on my case 🙂 I really appreciate your efforts.
My parents came to know about this matter 6 months before. They are not accepting this. They are not ready to give me more time as well. They have given 2 weeks to think and take decision whether i want them or my girl. I do not see any help from my cousins as well. My father is too much strict regarding this. Once he decides, he never change. If after 2 weeks, I do not take any decision, my father will not talk to me that’s for sure i believe.
Muslim parents are not yet aware of this case. If they come to know about this matter, they might force girl to marry any muslim guy. in that case, we might have to run that we (myself and my girl) really do not want. that’s why we have not yet told anything to muslim parents. We do not want to leave our parents though if required, girl is ready to leave her parents for some years later on muslim parents will be convinced hopefully but what we want right now is support from my family. case is reverse they are opposing.
we are financially independent living in metro city and after marriage my parents will live with us once my father retires.
regarding marriage, if both parents agreed, we will follow hindu vivah. girl is ready for that. nobody will change his/her religion. if required, i am also readyfor Islamic Nikaah.
right now, how to convince my parent is bugging me…They are saying Muslim people are dangerous, if you let them know, they will come after you. they might harm you physically and bla bla.. i dnt understand how to convince.
Yes, your father is being irrational. Best is to park your relationship (we did not say end!). Take some time to think through and get full picture from both sides. Let her talk to her parents.
This “we will follow hindu vivah. girl is ready for that. nobody will change his/her religion. if required, i am also readyfor Islamic Nikaah” is not practical, especially in Gujarat. Read laws here. Islamic Nikaah requires your conversion. For two Muslims (after your conversion to Islam), it is not a good idea to have Hindu vivaha. A Muslim wife in your Hindu home is next to impossible when your parents are there. Can you consider the Special Marriage Act 1954 and keep religion out of your marriage? will two sets of parents agree?
I totally understood your point regarding marriage and religion. Yes definitely special act is the option we will prefer here.
You are suggesting us to let girl’s parent know about our case but as i said we are not sure what actions they might take. We really don’t want to run, we are not prepared for that thing as of now.
What we are trying is convincing my parents but nothing is working. They are becoming aggressive. I am the only son. So I don’t want to leave them. I am having younger sister who is engaged. My parents are afraid this thing might affect my sister’s engagement. Even society and relatives are also big issue for them. They are not ready to listen any of my words all they want is end of our relationship.
One more thing, health of my parents is also affecting, my mother has to take tablets for bp. My dad is under depression since last 2 months. They are asking for my decision asap either parents or girl.
For me, it’s not possible to leave parents as well as my girl. I really not able to think what to do.
Hindu-Muslim marriage issues are endless. Both sides of parents will make your life hell (and you will make their life hell). These are facts of life, you decide if this relationship is worth it.
Let the girl figure out if her parents will allow her to go through the Special Marriage Act 1954?
You are financially independent and this will help. Right now, park your relationship. In a year, revisit this issue. If you are sure you want to go for the relationship, then tell parents the worst (even not true) that you are 100% going to marry this girl in one month. Let them boil over for a while, ultimately they will have to come to terms.