Ashwal says: February 14, 2018 at 2:54 am
Dear Shanu and Ambily Shanu,
I felt of you after reading your story.
Am in the similar case as you both had. We are from Kerala. We are still in relation since 8 years. Now its the time for Action. She is working in Bangalore and am settled in UAE. Now the issue is we need to get married and after our marriage, we need to present this issue to our parents as you had done. But for conducting the marriage under special marriage act from Bangalore. But we heard that for Special Marriage Act, a letter will be sent to our parents or the Register marriage office in our native. Now we are searching for a solution to get married without informing out parents and inform them once after the registration is done. If we don’t do this her family might House Arrest her and will try all the way to separate us. We need to live together somehow… Same as in your case both of us doesn’t want to get converted. Can you suggest us some way to conduct the Marriage?
I am a Muslim and She is Hindu. No, my parents will accept only if she gets converted with the permission of her parents and which is not going to happen. Anyways I cannot dump the girl. We want to live together.-Ashwal
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Love and faith has no language. I am a human and if I be in love with a Muslim female, then what difference does this make? We both are humans, both can follow OUR faiths to reach one Bhagwan, Allah, or God. How does she being a person from another faith (say Muslim) make any difference? Under one rOof both faiths can flourish till there is any societal/communal interference. In fact I would be happy to be in relation with a female from another faith so that we both have common spirituality from two different faiths/paths. If God is ONE, then why these communal differences? In fact, we must not name such relationships as communal. This the so-called communalism is just the result of our narrow/cheap upbringing & education and societal prejudices. How can two humans in love be communal if the common goal is LOVE & GOD. No faith is low or high — all have a common goal to have the highest level of spirituality & respect
why dont u convert to hinduism? its so simple. its much more liberal than islam for u for kids and ofc wife
Dear luckyblogger,
Why? She nor me doesn’t want to convert then why? We wanted to live together legally thats all my brother. I was enquiring for some methods to get registered.
Ashwal,
Agree to be neutral. It is beautiful to Share & Respect two faiths with Equality. You need to work on your parents and convince them for it. Once they agree, rest will go good.
Ask her (since you are out of India) to go to a local marriage register’s office in her city and inquire about The Special Marriage Act 1954 paperwork. That should have all information in details. Still we recommend to convince parents first, instead of running away (from what?).
Thanks for your response dear Admin. We are planning to contact any advocate for some sort of support. Hope everything gets fine with a Positive vibe in our surrounding.
Regards,
Ashwal
Ashwal,
You are one in a Million of Muslims who wants “doesn’t want (her) to get converted”. Normally most Muslims come to the Hindu lover and tell that “sorry, my parents are giving hard time and please convert to get married, please.” We may be stereotyping but that is what we have seen on this web site all along. We hope you will help remove this Muslim stereotyping and will marry her as a “Hindu”. Keep us posted.
Love and faith has no language. I am a human and if I be in love with a Muslim female, then what difference does this make? We both are humans, both can follow OUR faiths to reach one Bhagwan, Allah, or God. How does she being a person from another faith (say Muslim) make any difference? Under one rOof both faiths can flourish till there is any societal/communal interference. In fact I would be happy to be in relation with a female from another faith so that we both have common spirituality from two different faiths/paths. If God is ONE, then why these communal differences? In fact, we must not name such relationships as communal. This the so-called communalism is just the result of our narrow/cheap upbringing & education and societal prejudices. How can two humans in love be communal if the common goal is LOVE & GOD. No faith is low or high — all have a common goal to have the highest level of spirituality & respect.
She nor you want to convert. But which religion your children will follow. 100% islam right.. You just doing tricky with lovejihad…We dont need more muslim in India. We do have enough causing serious threat for nation
This is the problem with Islam, if you are a parcticing Muslim you should not have loved a non-Muslim girl! Why Islam propagate such a hypocrite? Can you agree that first child you will have with her will be hindu and second muslim? If you can’t, only non-Muslims are required to lose their identity to satisfy and massage collective egos of Muslim community.
The above mentioned “my parents will accept only if she gets converted”, this is just what i feel. They have never told me so.
One more thing, me or she will never convert!
We want to live our life outside the religious restrictions. Thats why we prefer to work and settle outside the Country.
Both our parents might deny us for this reason but there is no other way in front of us. We cannot even think of getting separated.
This is beautiful, “me or she will never convert!”, India and the world will be better place when every one starts thinking this way. That is why we wrote the book, Interfaith Marriage: Share and Respect with Equality.
Since your parents already know that you are in relationship, can you talk with them rationally and explain that we live in a different world where we have to respect each other the way they are and not convert? It is always nice if parents are on board, even you don’t have to live with them. Do not underestimate your parents.
Is the girl able to explain it to her parents? Ask her to come here https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13283 and share her views. We can guide her how to handle her parents. Her parents’ main concern will be conversion, that is not the case here.
Hindu-Muslim couple can marry and live happily in India, as far you are in a major metropolitan area and away from parents. Settling outside India is an option but if you are thinking about Middle East, they may not allow you to register your Hindu-Muslim marriage or will create other problems.
Hi Ashwal,
This will be a difficult deal to parents to agree to. Are your parents okay with it? After marriage, where will you live? With your parents?
You are adults and financially independent. If she is firm for you, there is very little parents can do. However, she has to be ready to take a stand on the issue and not submit to irrational steps by parents. Is she ready?
We agree 100% that this barbaric practice of converting the spouse for marriage is wrong and should end. We hope you do not submit to it out of pressure. Let us know what else we can say/guide?
I would like to really thank you for responding to me. I have been searching for a support since long time.
In my case , my parents already knew about this and they are mum. They did not ask me a word till now(came to know this through my brother, my brother knows everything). After marriage anyways we don’t want to stay in India. I am settled in UAE, once i marry her i can bring here and find her a job easily.
Before that we need to get registered and then i want to meet her parents and try my best to convince or beg them, still if they cannot accept us we will have to leave them. Even my parents too. If we don’t get registered, her parents may home arrest her and it will be a big trouble for me to get her back. Till they accept we will try to be touch with them, because they are OUR parents kno. We are in a situation that we cannot think anything than being together.
She is ready to do anything to live with me.
We are in relation since 8 years.
Kindly support US and Help us to be Together FOREVER.
Dear Ashwal,
We understand you are in love but reality of life is different than you may be dreaming about. This “they are mum. They did not ask me a word till now” does not mean parents are in agreement. Speak out loud and clear to them, don’t be shy. Let’s have all hungama upfront and now, and not later. Let us know when you are going to tell them black and white (meaning as is and truth)?
Explain us what is your faith and her faith? Are your parents ready to accept someone from a different faith? If they don’t, are you ready to disown your own parents or will dump the girl?
I am a Muslim and She is Hindu. No, my parents will accept only if she gets converted with the permission of her parents and which is not going to happen. Anyways I cannot dump the girl. We want to live together.
Explain us this “my parents will accept only if she gets converted”, why?
Are you a “Muslim”? Are you performing namaz five times a day? Are you following Koran 24:30 (view https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=11208)? If you are not a true Muslim, what will you do fake-converting a Hindu? Is that for vote-power? Who is your parents trying to please? Are your parents looking to go to heaven by converting a Hindu? Explain us how their demand it logical.