I am a Christian mother and my son is marring a Hindu

Robin says.… March 18, 2012 at 10:40 am

I am a Christian mother (Catholic) of a son who is planning to marry a Hindu girl. I struggle with, and I have struggled with the exclusivity of Christianity for quite some time. I consider myself liberal and tolerant, and I am still searching for an explanation of “only one way to the father“. Having said that, I still feel somewhat uncomfortable praying to other Gods. My son wants a Hindu ceremony in which his parents are part of. I am hoping for a ceremony that blends both cultures and is truely reflective of who we are. Who we all are. I would be fine with anything my son decides, but I was educated that I am very much a part of the ceremony… I just want to be authentic. My faith has always been important to me, and a guiding light in my life.

Also read Robin’s message to Savio and Parents have no option left

Reply by Admin

Dear Robin,

So, your concern is….. in the Hindu wedding, the Hindu priest will invoke multiple male and female gods from the heaven, earth, from water and from all directions. The Hindu ceremony will begin with praying to an elephant head god Ganesh. There will be multiple idols (deities) and extensive pooja rituals. There may be a Garba dance and will have to eat offerings from gods, prasad. You will be surrounded by all non-baptized-new relatives; who do not believe that Jesus is the only savior. Further, the new Hindu wife may not wish your grand children be baptized to remove the original sin. If you do literally believe in what is said in the “Bible on Hindus?”, you will be committing so many sins. Your LORD God will surely punish you for three to four generations (the 2nd of the Ten commandments).

Relax!!! It is normal that an interfaith marriage gives anxiety to parents. Don’t think too much negative. There is no horror going to happen by your son marrying a Hindu. You seem to be educated, intelligent and an independent thinker. It is time to look at this new world with love for every one. Jesus will be proud of you for being a good human being. If you could show your true love for your new Hindu relatives, it will be a win-win for all. So, go buy a sari and bindi and be ready to enjoy the colorful Hindu wedding.

Your son should have done his homework. Lets hope your son knows what he is getting into. If he is not a true pluralist, this newly wed will have the same horrible fate as Hinu, Vineeta, Diva, Jane Tou and Ron.

Jesus in his direct messages never mentioned about “idol worship” and “other gods.” Please confirm it for us. Further, He changed the second of the Ten Commandments of “jealous god” to – love thy neighbors. It is beyond belief to think that Jesus will send Mahatma Gandhi and your soon to be a Hindu-daughter-in-law to hell on the Judgment Day.

Not an idol?Catholics and Hindus have many similarities. Like all Abrahamics, Hindus believe that there is one absolute Ultimate Reality. Catholics are polytheist, believe in three forms of the God; Hindus believe in a few more forms of the same God. Like the marble statue of Mary and the wood cross are not idols, the same way, Hindus gods are not idols. Catholics don’t pray to two pieces of wood but they see Jesus’ sacrifice into the wood cross. Likewise, Hindu gods are not idols, but a way to see the Ultimate Reality.

You want to blend of both cultures, so go ask your new Hindu relatives to put a Jesus’ cross into the Hindu wedding rituals and they will be happy to accommodate you. Christ and Krishna will be happy to bless the newly wed. Later, your Hindu daughter-in-law will be glad to visit your church and eat Jesus’ body/bread and you reciprocate by visiting a Hindu temple and eating prasad. Also have a Catholic wedding in your church for this couple, except that do not ask the Hindu to sign the one sided prenuptial child-rearing contract. Further, teach your grand children that Jesus is dad’s (son of) god and Goddess Laxmi is mom’s god, how beautiful!

Now come to your claim that you are a “tolerant.” Toleration could have a meaning that you are willing to “put up” with her and “allowing her to live.” Now it is time to give up this exclusivist and supremacist attitude that you are from some superior race. Instead of being “tolerant,” create mutual respect for each other.

Now for your grandchildren, Hindus believe that a child is born divine. It is one’s karma that will determine the ultimate fate. If you want to show your genuine love for this new Hindu daughter-in-law, please do not ask for baptism of the children and let your son and daughter-in-law enjoy their Interfaith Marriage with EQUALITY.

Now you have an opportunity to learn of God’s real message of love for all. Show it in true spirit. Enjoy the Hindu Vivaha ceremony and a Hindu in your life.
-Admin

Read further communication with Robin here.

To readers: Do parents have rights to be concerned about their heritage, culture and religious beliefs? Do Robin’s son who is currently in (temporary?) love and fascinated by novelty; will he turn around later in his married life to be a Bible believer? What could be a good insurance that your intended spouse will not “turned around” to his/her core (Hindu or Christian) rigid religious beliefs 10 years down in your married life? Express your views here.

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23 Comments

  • Denyse
    August 3, 2019 4:07 am

    Dear Christians

    You need to go back to the Word of God to see what the Father has to say about other religions, the idols they worship, mixed interfaith marriages. No where in the Word [bible] does it state we must accept other religions. The closest it gets is to make one realise Jesus died for everyone but to become part of Gods eternal family you have to accept Christ – who He said he is and what He did for the reconciliation of man to God on the cross- ask Him into your life, excluding all other gods. There is no warm fuzzy grey area. Either you worship God in the Trinity as your only Lord, King and Saviour who died in your place as a sacrificial lamb of God on the cross or you worship other gods through idols. Christianity is a very broad term – even Catholics who worship Mary and Saints call themselves Christian. However the only definitions are established in Gods Written Word.
    So before you crucify me let us rather go and see what God has to say in His written bible, and if you still have issues – take it up with Him – I am just a voice crying in the wilderness – prepare you a way for the Lord.
    1Co_5:11 What I meant was that you should not associate with a person who calls himself a believer but is immoral or greedy or worships idols or is a slanderer or a drunkard or a thief. Don’t even sit down to eat with such a person.
    1Co_6:9 Surely you know that the wicked will not possess God’s Kingdom. Do not fool yourselves; people who are immoral or who worship idols or are adulterers or homosexual perverts
    1Co_10:14 So then, my dear friends, keep away from the worship of idols.
    1Pe_4:3 You have spent enough time in the past doing what the heathen like to do. Your lives were spent in indecency, lust, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and the disgusting worship of idols.
    Rev_9:20 The rest of the human race, all those who had not been killed by these plagues, did not turn away from what they themselves had made. They did not stop worshiping demons, nor the idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone, and wood, which cannot see, hear, or walk.
    Rev_21:8 But cowards, traitors, perverts, murderers, the immoral, those who practice magic, those who worship idols, and all liars—the place for them is the lake burning with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
    2Co_6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? Christian just this verse warns you against marriage with people who are unbelievers, who worship idols. Who do not accept Jesus as the Lord and Saviour.
    Jesus said, my flock.
    Joh 10:27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.
    Joh 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
    Joh 10:29 My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.
    Joh 10:30 I and the Father are one.”
    So either Jesus is as nutty as a fruit cake claiming to be the same as God, or He is who he says he is, the Son of the living and only God, come into this world to die a living sacrifice for our sins. Think twice before you marry out of your beliefs.
    The Word does not say accept religions who reject Christ – it save others from the eternal fire that is waiting for unbelieving people at the end of the age.
    Jude 1:21 Remain in God’s love as you look for the mercy of our Lord Jesus the Messiah, which brings eternal life. Jud 1:22 Show mercy to those who have doubts. Jud 1:23 Save others by snatching them from the fire. To others, show mercy with fear, hating even the clothes stained by their sinful lives.
    Jud 1:24 Now to the one who is able to keep you from falling and to make you stand joyful and faultless in his glorious presence,
    Jud 1:25 to the only God, our Savior, through Jesus the Messiah, our Lord, be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time and for all eternity! Amen. Blessings may the Holy Spirit give you Godly wisdom. Blessing Gwanny D’

    Reply at https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=15470

  • Jayashree
    August 4, 2015 2:31 am

    Dear Robiin

    I am a christian. I was a hindu who married a catholic. Neither my husband nor my in-laws asked me to convert. They did not pressurize me in anyway to become a catholic. But they stayed true to their faith. My mom-in-law didn’t come with me to any hindu temples, particiapte in rituals, or eat prasadam. However, they loved me much. And in order to show them love in return, I enthusiastically dived into church life.Also, like someone else said, as a hindu, you don’t have any problems (usually, but that’s changing) doign church stuff. Over the years, however, something amazing happened. I met Jesus Christ in the gospels and was confronted by my own sinful condition. I realized I need His Sacrifice to save me.God in His mercy, enabled me to take His Word at face value and I gave my life over to Him. And then, everything changed. I learnt more and read more. Now I am a christian, saved by grace through faith, baptized and battling with my sin everyday to live a life pleasing to Him.Naturally, I trust the Bible to help me make all sorts of decisions, small ones like what I wear, and major ones like relationships. I humbly request you to read the gospels and all that Jacky has suggested and pray earnestly for your son and daughter-in-law. May the Lord save you all and bless you all. God be with you.

    To
    Jacky
    To answer your anxious question that would have come up after reading the above. yes, my husband is also saved.:) and so is my daughter. we serve the Lord as a family.May He be glorified in our lives.

    In Him
    Jayashree

    • Jyotirmoy
      August 7, 2015 1:50 am

      Brainwashing,indoctrination and compulsion to lead a happy married life have propelled your mind to see jesus christ!!!

  • May 20, 2014 8:47 am

    Hi,
    I feel extremely happy that I happend to visit this site at this right moment.
    I’m a Roman Catholic in love wit a Hindu boy for the last 10years. We decided to get ring exchanged in church as well have a ceremony as per hindu tradition as well but now is the drama begun. My Mom who’s backed by her sisters my aunt and my uncle is not willing to get me married in their tradition. They want him to get converted totally and have christian wedding ONLY. I feel so irritated. They don seem to realize dat marriage they seem to be creating a rift among our families. Things seems to be going fine in a totally wrong way. They are saying dat I would be cursed if I get married in HINDU tradition. Pl help.

    Reply at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=7983

  • michele
    September 20, 2012 4:17 am

    there is only one god, and the caste system is not human.

    • September 19, 2013 9:03 am

      Michele, you are right, caste system was a cruel system to a sizable chunk of Hindus and even today it is difficult to break away from this whole edifice. However, it is dying a slow death and will disappear in a course of time like the slavery disappeared from the face of the earth as all rational thinking persons abhor this concept and sincerely wish it’s annihilation. When caste disappears, Hinduism will be strengthened and more and more people will join this otherwise beautiful faith in every other respect. It is a good thing about Hinduism that it is very eager to stamp out all ills ingrained in it like it did with Sati System, Child marriage and so on. Hinduism is not an stagnant religion but it is flowing with the context of modernity and the relevant time.

  • ahalya
    September 16, 2012 4:46 am

    i m a hindu girl. my lover is a muslim boy. i want both my parents and my lover. i m ready to covert to muslim..but how will i convey my parents??..pls help me

    • September 16, 2012 10:53 am

      “i m ready to covert to muslim”

      Doesn’t this tell about how pathetic these Hindu girls are?

      • Aryan
        September 16, 2012 12:31 pm

        Hi Srinivas,

        Do you know what pakistan did when they lost the war against indians? They used media and mass dis-information and confusion around the results of the war. Rest of the world (out side India of course) just does not know that Pakistan just lost the war miserably. This is what happening here – all of sudden we see “hindu girl” posting..do you as person identify yourself as hindu or a Christian or whatever? No. Muslims does, so i conclude these fake questions/posts aren’t worth any response. Muslims are idiotic and miscreants wherever they go…so just ignore them. Non muslim girls are more religious and aware about the things going around. Relax 😉

    • September 16, 2012 11:24 am

      Ahalya,
      Please read Hindu Girl – Muslim Boy Relationships and all references there in and get back to us with more specific questions.

  • Jahid
    May 24, 2012 8:19 am

    I think you are trying to just glorify islam and your views are biased towards islam. Chances are high that you will not post my comment because you need to protect your religion. There are problems with islam today. It is a good religion if it stays in a book. The moment islam comes out of the koran, people die(Somalia), people kill their relatives(Afghanistan), people rape women because they believe they are doing what God requires of them. North African muslims fill up French, Swedish and Norwegian jails for these crimes commited using the koran. You justify killing innocent babies in the name of Allah (Shame on you). Chances are high you are a refugee in a country found on another religions principles, why cant you go to Somalia, Egypt or Pakistan. Islam is not a religion of peace as you would believe. Ask the Somalians who are more Muslim than Mohamed himself. Have you read the Satanic Verses, Do you know why islam has to be protected like a porcelein vessel, (Is God that weak) Does God need you just flesh and blood to kill on his behalf. You are a hindu culturally and you have to give your children Arabic names to be Halaal closer to God?Allar) I think its sad. You have to speak to God?Allah in Arabic because it is the ultimate language, if you try to Translate the holy book then its no longer holy. Why? Because you are not supposed to fully understand as the first person. What are they hiding that they dont want you to see? God/Allah made us as equals, He did not choose any one over another. I think you are one highly prejudicial induvidual just angry with himself or with a very poor self esteem trying to look for attention. Do another 09/11 maybe the world will notice…

    • Dane
      September 16, 2012 12:48 pm

      Hi,

      First your name sounds…lets just say i wasn’t expecting this name with such a beautiful comment. Alright i have to admit – i couldn’t agree more with your comments. I just want europe to be cleaned with there idiotic immigration rules, these idiots from Islamic country first beg to come to our land and all of a sudden their crimes comes too. They need their sharia law in our land, the owners of it. This proves no matter how much love and affection you show to them by helping these Islamic idiots, we give them food, security, shelter, job basically a good life, but what we get is rape of our girls, conversion, social crimes, mafia groups. I mean its too much now. What I dont understand is people from other country too immigrate to Europe but only muslims create problem. Why? so far my research shows that’s their religion order to do all this to non muslims in non muslim country. Why cant these muslims immigrants go to there prosperous arab country to get asylum? Why they choose only non muslim country. And is our European govts sleeping with all this crime happening in the back yard? Its ridicules wake up Europe! France and UK has paid the price I think rest of us should really wake up.

    • Amir
      September 20, 2012 5:31 am

      It is a good religion if it stays in a book. The moment islam comes out of the koran, people die(Somalia), people kill their relatives(Afghanistan), people rape women because they believe they are doing what God requires of them. North African muslims fill up French, Swedish and Norwegian jails for these crimes commited using the koran. You justify killing innocent babies in the name of Allah (Shame on you). Chances are high you are a refugee in a country found on another religions principles, why cant you go to Somalia, Egypt or Pakistan. Islam is not a religion of peace as you would believe. Ask the Somalians who are more Muslim than Mohamed himself. Have you read the Satanic Verses, Do you know why islam has to be protected like a porcelein vessel, (Is God that weak) Does God need you just flesh and blood to kill on his behalf. You are a hindu culturally and you have to give your children Arabic names to be Halaal closer to God?Allar) I think its sad. You have to speak to God?Allah in Arabic because it is the ultimate language, if you try to Translate the holy book then its no longer holy. Why? Because you are not supposed to fully understand as the first person. What are they hiding that they dont want you to see? God/Allah made us as equals, He did not choose any one over another. I think you are one highly prejudicial induvidual just angry with himself or with a very poor self esteem trying to look for attention. Do another 09/11 maybe the world will notice…

      Brother,
      Why are you so angry?

      “You justify killing innocent babies in the name of Allah ”
      who is justifying? Where it is said?

      “people rape women because they believe they are doing what God requires of them.”
      Where it happens? Be more precise.

      Your comment is outcome of your polluted mentality towards particular
      religion. Don’t write anything just for show your hatred.

      What religion do you follow? please be just, to tell. I m sure it does not convince spreading hatred and telling lie.

  • Jacky
    May 16, 2012 11:12 am

    Well let me put this out there — A lot of what the Hindu believe and the Catholics believe are actually the same when you drill down below the surface of how things look on the outside. Start with the idol worship then go to this: Both believe in salvation by good works.

    I live in the Austin Texas area where Mexican Catholics have a large stature of what they call “The mother of God” Mary. This statue looks just like the pictures in the admin post of Mary and the Hindu icon on this website except it is Our Lady of Guadalupe which is a Mexican idol.

    This Our Lady of Guadalupe idol is accepted by the Catholic church. Beads and flowers are put around the statue. The statue goes from house to house in a ceremony. The best example you have is not to participate in idol worship at the ceremony. The Hindu people often know the similarities and scorn Christians for their ignorance. Your son may be accepting of the Hindi woman because he sees the similarities.

    Show your daughter in law love, respect and compassion. I have to put all those in there because people seem not to understand they all go together. My mother taught me this philosophy regarding daughter-in-laws:

    “If you can love her, I can like her.”
    Go back to the Bible to find out how you can have a great mother/daughter in law relationship like Naomi and Ruth.

    About eating food offered to idols– read First Corinthians Chapter 8 in the Bible. Read it in a modern English version. The Catholic church has some. I like the New Living translation which can be found at bible dot com. Here is part of it: (I am unsure if the word “meat” is a literal translation or if it includes vegetables.)

    4 So, what about eating meat that has been offered to idols? Well, we all know that an idol is not really a god and that there is only one God. 5 There may be so-called gods both in heaven and on earth, and some people actually worship many gods and many lords. 6 But we know that there is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we live for him. And there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom God made everything and through whom we have been given life.

    7 However, not all believers know this. Some are accustomed to thinking of idols as being real, so when they eat food that has been offered to idols, they think of it as the worship of real gods, and their weak consciences are violated. 8 It’s true that we can’t win God’s approval by what we eat. We don’t lose anything if we don’t eat it, and we don’t gain anything if we do.

  • suma usa
    April 12, 2012 5:13 pm

    Dear Robin,
    please google western hindus and see what you hear about hinduism from caucasians. Dont forget to read the chainblogs listed on the right side of the home page. You will face a regular girl, for hinduism doesnt give girls any additional baggage that might torment you or enthrall you any more or less than a christian girl will. Besides, most of them are not temple nuts, they enjoy hindu weddings because they are so colorful and filmy, the clothing the jewellery and the like. You will be fine. But mind you she is like any other DIL, just so you know it; Kidding, you all will do fine, im sure. Dont try to convert her, the humiliation will grow into some serious hatred.

  • Robin
    March 26, 2012 6:49 pm

    When I said I was “tolerant”, I did not know I was saying I was allowing her to live. To me “tolerant” meant that I respect, and I am open to others beliefs, while remaining on my own spiritual path.
    I perceive both responses to be a little bit harsh.
    I appreciate Admin’s response because you answered some questions for me.
    I will have to look within, and to God for the answers I need.
    Robin

    • March 27, 2012 1:00 am

      Robin,
      You are on a right path. You are looking for truth and in search of God’s real message. Probably Jesus planned all these for you! You are far different from Hinu‘s Christian mother-in-law, who is the major culprit for a potential divorce of this newly wed.

      With respect for your new daughter-in-law and her religion, you will surely win her love. Surely, she will reciprocate by double respecting you and your Catholic faith. This is called Interfaith marriage with equality (please no BBS). Best wishes.

      Do visit India for the wedding, that will be the most memorable experience of your life time. People will love you. You will get a royal treatment. Let us know your experience after coming back!

      • Robin
        March 28, 2012 1:38 am

        Thank you Admin. I too believe there is some spiritual lesson that I am being led to learn through this. And to Ashok I say I will look for the good in both cultures.
        I am not putting any religous demands on either my son or my future daughter in law, or possible future grandchildren.
        I have advised my son to pray/meditate, as these are serious steps.
        I see my future daughter in law as a precious gift, and I will continue to try to be a better human.

  • March 24, 2012 11:32 am

    Dear Robin,
    Please read the history of Catholic Church if you do not know. I am sure you are aware of it and you are “tolerant” to it or you are simply ignoring it. Why?

    Following are not exact words but gives you essence of it…….

    Dalai Lama a Budhist monk answered to a Prominent Brazilian Catholic leader’s question: “Which is the best religion?” Dalai Lama answered ….one who makes you better human being, i.e. non-violance, caring others, respecting others, helping others without ego and self serving interests, and so on.

    The Catholic leader asked a follow-up question: “Does it mean religion is not important.” Dalai Lama answered YES. The Catholic leader did not expect this and was embarassed for asking his holiness this question.

    Just put aside religion and narrow mind and become a better human. Religion is not the ultimate. So enjoy both traditions and see good values of both cultures.

    • September 16, 2013 10:10 am

      Ashok has rightly advised Robin to enjoy good things of both religions. It is very disgusting that our lives are greatly burdened with the heavy weight of religion that we cannot see other beautiful aspects of our existence and relish them to enrich our lives in a big way. The purpose of religion is to lighten you and not to burden you at all. If our lives become too centered on the machinations of our religion that we are unable to appreciate goodness of rest of the humanity, it means that we have not imbibed a true essence of religion. If our religion does not create such a sight in our eyes that we are able to perceive the whole of humanity as our own without any discrimination,our indulgence in it would be a sheer futile exercise. If our religion does not create in us such a maturity as to spring forth godly attributes in us, we must assume that we are still in a darkness and our religion has not produced a real effect as yet. If adherence of our religion instils in us a difference between two humans, we must be sure that either our adherence is wrong or we have not reflected on subtle lessons through our intellect. The whole purpose of religion is to create unity of the whole universe not only of humans but animals and plants and all that is encased in it. A true religion creates such a vision in us to witness oneness in the whole universe. It should bring forth such a large heartedness and magnanimity in our whole demeanor that we can be blessed with untold bliss from all quarters of the universe. Robin is fearful of co-humans who profess a different religion and some different practices but it is an outer field of human existence but when we plunge into the deeper recesses of religiosity, all our affairs become so east and simple to tackle on. So, come on, Robin, God has selected for you a beautiful journey ahead, shed all fears, Hindus are the most loving, passionate, compassionate and compatible human beings on earth ! There is nothing to fear, dear.

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