I attended my own wife’s marriage!!

Akshay says: February 23, 2013 at 11:16 am

I am a Hindu Guy, I loved Muslim girl, More than me she loved me a lot, she loved me that much no one could measure it. We were in our own world, world of love, when we were in love or when love happened we never had a clue or thought about the religion. I was ready for everything, i was there her, i was prepared to everything where i can keep her happy, i was planning for marriage.

We were beyond religion, society, parents, friends etc. But again same society, RELIGION, parents, friends etc. came in existence when she got engaged within her community i.e with Muslim guy.

Same time one of the close relative passed away in her family, everybody started coming to her home and later days every one started speaking about her marriage, religion, reciting, etc.

Now she started telling WE BOTH WERE IN A DREAM and never thought the real life….. As i said we loved so much, she loved me so much, she is telling we need to sacrifice our love. our love for our parents, her sister or else they will die. She is telling body is mortal soul is not immortal.

Later on she started telling i did a mistake, in Islam it is wrong, Allah will punish me…But she is doing this deliberately so that i can go away from her. she is telling me to marry some one, to keep my parents happy, to lead a better life in society. But remember she tells in a pain and she will be getting married with someone in few days.. But she tells she love me.

I made all arrangements to kidnap her, but immediately realized that LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. Now invitation card will be distributed in one or two days. But i checked from all the sources, that the engaged guy’s character is not good. Being a Muslim he has demanded and accepted cash from brides home. He is marrying her becoz of money…. He cant keep my love happy. She can’t be happy.

Now what should i do? What is sacrifice? should i blame my own-self? should i blame her? should i blame religion? I JUST CANT LIVE WITHOUT HER, she is in my blood, in my breathe. Its a true love…. I just wanted one YES, only one YES she dint tell. She is going away from me….far away from me. But virtually she is with me, i can feel her presence, i can feel her touch, etc.

What should i do now. i am in deep depression….. -Akshay

.

Akshay added more later: March 11, 2013 at 6:08 am

Dear All,

IF YOU TRULY LOVE SOMEONE BE WITH THEM, COME WHAT MAY BE TOGETHER, GET MARRIED, SHOULD BE TILL THE END AND TILL BOTH DIE, OR ELSE DON’T GET INTO LOVE I MEAN DON’T EXPRESS IT.

LOVE IS GREATER THAN ANY RELIGION,COMMUNITY, CASTE ETC. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE SOCIETY, LOVE SHOULD BE ACHIEVED, LOVERS SHOULD BE TOGETHER.

About My love…..

I am a Hindu boy, was more committed to my work/career, always thought about family and parents, dreams about my life and never wanted to get into love, never wanted to love, never wanted to hurt my parents and their thoughts. But LOVE HAPPENS and that cannot be planned.

End of 2011, A female(Muslim) joined in my team only female in my team, as she was in my team,my responsibility was to protect her, guide her, teach her, support her, learnings from each her, to value each other thoughts etc. More than colleagues We became friends.

In month of Sep. 2012, she said her parents decided to marry her with Muslim boy and engagement is over and she will get married in month of Dec. 2012. So I just smiled and was not able to sit in the office and I just walked out and I was not able to understand exactly what kind of emotion bond it was, I convinced myself that this is obvious feeling as my close friend is going away from me, but i should wish all good to her life.

She completed 11 months at work, we never thought about love, but LOVE was somewhere, but we never knew that it was a love. We never expressed before each other, Especially i never wanted to express my love to her as she was already engaged to someone.

Later on she started telling about the guy who was engaged to her, she started telling that she doesn’t like him, he is very rude in approach, he is still having affair with other female, my engagement happened as it was some kind of a obligation, I cannot be happy with him, etc.

But Play master is on the top, in mid of October, Office trip was arranged at a hill station. During the time of trekking we were just calm and some different kind of feeling was there between us and never expressed our love.

After coming from the trip, while chatting on the phone, she started telling you are different guy, you don’t have girl friend, you don’t know how to get girl friend and all, We arrived at a CHALLENGE, I said I can convince anyone and i can convince you also, as indirectly she also wanted to play pranks with me and the next challenge was to behave like a Boy friend and Girl Friend.

Without know to each other we forgot about the challenge and we were in LOVE, which was expressed during the time of challenge period. We never knew that we loved each other so much since 11 months but we did not expressed.

We used to exchange each other feeling and OUR SOULS WERE TOUCHED…She used to take care of me like anything, it was an unconditional love. She loved me so much, i loved her like anything.

I decided I should get married to her, as SHE WAS MY FIRST LOVE, WANTED TO MARRY HER, WANTED TO BE WITH HER FOREVER…..

She also said the same-thing, she wanted to be with me forever, lifelong… but she was having some doubt that whether will be together or not…. So she said we will get married for our understanding, so that we will be husband and wife, we got married on end of November 2012, and witness was only the GOD and only GOD. On that day I was so much satisfied as she became my wife and i am her proud husband. But I was not able to tell to anyone on this world. But I decided to life together forever with her after all she is my wife and she is only mine.

So God’s decision was different, some relative passed away in her family and everyone was there at her home and started telling that deceased person always wanted to her marriage before the death. Later on everyone started speaking about her marriage, pressure was much on her.

I never new that there was such kind of twist in my life, I exactly do not know what happened to her, she started telling “we were in a dream, we have to live in reality, i dont want to hurt my parents, i don’t want to kill them, my sister cant get good groom if i come with you, i have to get married to that person whom i am engaged with.

I was totally into black room, i requested her so many times, that she cant be happy with that guy whom she doesnt love, he cant keep you happy, moreover i cannot live in this world without you.

I am married to you, you are my wife and i am your husband, i cant let to go with someone or you cant leave me and go with someone. As a husband i need to protect you, i ll protect you, i am here to fight for anything, ready to fight against this world, society, etc.

Then she started telling (mid of January 2013)”ours is not at all a marriage, we married in Hindu tradition, according to me, according to ISLAM it is not a marriage and we are not husband and wife. Later on she started convincing me that all love at the end it is more of a sacrifice, we should not be selfish, we cannot be mean to our parents, we should not hurt them, we need to SACRIFICE OUR LOVE”. She used to cry, i want not able to control my tears or emotion as i loved her truly and accepted her as my WIFE, life partner and my soul mate. She started telling that she would kill herself if I speak about my love with her again or if anyone one in her family comes to know about it. I made it clear to her, i cannot force you on anything, I wanted her to tell only one YES, if she was ready, i would have got her. This never happened

She distributed her invitation cards to all in front of me at office. She also said my presence is required in her marriage if not others will speak bad about her/me. if i don’t attend her marriage.

Embarrassing situation was that, she wanted to see me first, before she enters the Marriage Convention Hall, I was waiting for her to enter and she saw me, later on my colleagues saw me, i gave her a presentation (attending my own wife’s marriage???????), and i walked away from that place.

I think no one on this earth should get this kind of a situation, where a actual husband was not able to tell to anyone about the marriage his own marriage, and attending his own wife’s marriage with some one and giving presentation??????

I prayed to GOD, to give her happiness in her life…….I always wanted her to be happy and keep smiling, i never wanted or want to hurt her.

But what about me? i cannot get married to anyone, My Will is not able to accept any female in my life apart from my love…But one thing for sure memories cannot be erased, i cannot forget her. But i cannot think about her as she is somebody’s property. i cannot be in touch with her and do not want to be.

But what about her can she be happy with someone whom she never like at all and got married to him in front of all? that too in front of me????

What about her parents in-case, in-case if she is not happy with the marriage which they liked? they marriage where society accepted this marriage? Can parents be happy if something goes wrong with the new married couple?

Here only for the satisfaction of society, religion, obligations people get married. NO one can be happy here

So if you love someone truly, be with them till your last breath…..Do not hurt your love, don’t give pain to your love, do not betray your love. -Akshay

.

Admin says:

Akshay,

We are very sorry to hear of your condition. It is highly unlikely that she will change her mind and will run away with you. Once she is married, it is “The End” to your dream. After that point, it is not a good idea of keeping track of what she does or how happy or sad she is.

At this point in your life, instead of being depressed, direct your energy to something else. We you do not know if someone told you before, but you are a good writer!! Please directly all your frustration and anger in a positive direction by writing articles on your love, write love stories, write poems and write on religious dogma and practices, and go and give lectures on love.

What ever happen, happens for good. If she truly believes that “Allah will punish me (on the Judgment Day)”, comes to think of it, it is good that she departed from your life. As you may have heard before, the love is a short lasting. After marriage, she would have made your life hell by making you a true Muslim, that you are not.

Do not be a Devdas, it is not worth it. “Time” is only the therapy for you. It will take you a year or two to get over this love-bug. During this time, as we suggested, spend your time writing love articles. You could post them on this post as your collection.

Please comeback after 6 month to update your mental situation and we will discuss more then. Again, we are sorry to hear of your sad love story. Best wishes. -Admin

.


More information: Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia, Muslim-Hindu marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus? Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Marriage & Divorce laws.
Return to Home, Blogs, How to Share? Facebook, Youtube, Twitter, Book, Media.

9 Comments

  • ravi
    December 16, 2013 11:48 pm

    hai akshay,
    sry about ur story
    as u write u attend ur wife’s wedding. .. (me too – same situation as urs). but aftr wedding she call me all the tym and cry roo much-she is not happy with new family new life and want me back in her life. now wat shoud I do now.. can anyone suggest me. (no need to write more about my self or my story as it is same as akshay’s story).

    • December 19, 2013 6:53 am

      Ravi,
      It must be very hard. We believe once she is married, it is just too late to undo it.

  • a hindu friend
    December 3, 2013 7:03 am

    well..I am in the nascent stage of exactly your situation. though I’m not working yet but will be a MBBS doctor after 2 years. she loves me and I love her. I could do anything to be with her for my life but she always says that she loves me a lot but can not marry me cuz I’m not muslim. our mrg will never be valid cuz I’m non muslim and she never wish that I should convert to islam. she likes me as I am. I like her too as she is and ready to accept her. she always says me that she will love me till her last breath but could not marry me. But you know it will be very painful for me to marry someone else than her cuz I gave her my emotions. And hell those breaking ups!!..I never believe in it..How can I break up with someone whom I love like mad..:'( . I just can’t leave her and can neither be with her for lifetime. I know she will leave me some days and marry someone else but Will She BE Happy With him when she loves me???? when I think about my future, I go blank. These things don’t let me concentrate on my study too! and one more thing she says always She can leave her family but can Not change her faith in Islam!

    • December 3, 2013 7:15 am

      Please go back to your studies and complete your education. Right now she is not using her own mind, but trying to please her community and parents. After a few years, when you are financially ready to take care of her and she will be independent to think what is right for her, she will change. Meantime, read all that we have written on this web site. Best wishes.

  • March 13, 2013 10:29 am

    Akshay,
    We got updates on your life story. This is certainly sad.

    Now you said you were married in presence of only God. Unfortunately, God, as strong as He may be, but He cannot be a witness as per Indian laws. You cannot prove your marriage as per the laws of land.

    This could complicate the matter in the future. She is already married now, that is a fact. Best would be to forget the past horror dream and try to put your life back on track (easy for us to say, but we understand it is difficult).

    • Akshay
      March 16, 2013 9:46 am

      Dear Admin,

      We loved and we left, now its the journey of her new life.

      But i never wanted to prove MY MARRIAGE that to anyone, reason is acceptance should be from both the side to LIVE TOGETHER…. But her decision was to lead life with someone with whom she has to consider for the sake of her parents, religion and society.

      One more reason i never wanted to prove to anyone is becoz of her happiness, she chose the way which she was forced to walk….

      SO WE CANT FORCE, LOVE CANNOT BE ACHIEVED BY FORCE…..I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY AND KEEP SMILING ALWAYS..

      LOVE CANNOT BE FORGOTTEN, SHE IS MY SOUL-MATE, SOUL MATES NO NEED TO MEET EACH OTHER, COMMUNICATE LITERALLY. SOULS WILL BE IN TOUCH VIRTUALLY, THEY CAN SPEAK EACH MOMENT, CAN FEEL EACH OTHERS PAIN AND HAPPINESS

      LIFE IS SIMPLE…….

  • February 27, 2013 10:25 am

    Hi every body,

    I love a muslim girl in Turkey and she also loves me too. Working together and continuous dating, one day we had sexual relations too and there after it has become a matter of every week.

    We both want to marry now. She he wants to live restriction free live and raise kids with me only.

    Please guide how she should convince her parents.
    Her parents wants to marry her in muslim community and she is also scared of proving her virginity on the wedding night, which she has lost with me already. I am ready to marry her. No problem evenif she continues to be muslim.

    Reply to Hariss at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4571

  • February 24, 2013 9:21 am

    I lost my virginity a year ago , I had sex with my bf. I’m sexually active since then.Myself 25 years old from Riyadh and parents insisting for marriage with a Saudi guy.

    My BF is a black Christian from Uganda.

    What should I do?
    I don’t think surgery is an option.

    How can I fake it?

    Please don’t talk about my morals because none of you know what happened. I’m asking for help and you only should be helpful and nothing else. If you can’t help then don’t answer.

    Thanks.

    Reply to Mahajabeen at https://www.interfaithshaadi.org/?p=4553

  • February 24, 2013 9:14 am

    Hi

    Here is a case of child marriage with an old man.

    The 15-year-old Saudi girl has reportedly been divorced from the 70-year-old man. She reportedly locked herself in a bedroom on their wedding night before fleeing

    A 70-year-old Saudi Arabian man has been divorced from his teenage bride – thought to be only 15.

    The terrified youngster locked herself in a bedroom on their wedding night and two days later she fled back to her parents’ home.

    But the elderly man caused outrage when he claimed that the youngster’s family had tricked him into paying a $20,000 (£12,479) dowry.

    According to local reports, the man said: ‘I feel that there is a conspiracy by her mother against me.’

    He claimed he would go to court to retrieve the dowry from the young girl’s Saudi mother and Yemeni father and said the payment made the marriage ‘legal and correct’.

    Saudi Arabia’s Human Rights Commission however said a meeting had taken place between the man, the girl and her parents and that the dispute had been ‘resolved amicably’.

    The commission said the couple had been divorced.

    The marriage came to light when the man complained to local officials that he had been ripped off.

    After learning of the marriage the Human Rights Commission sent an investigator to the girl’s home in the village of Al-Hurath in Jizan province.

    There is no law outlining a minimum age for marriage in Saudi Arabia, with human rights campaigners claiming that child marriage is a problem in the Muslim country.

    The man has since disputed reports that the girl is a teenager.

    In an interview with CNN he said: ‘She is not 15 as everybody claims. She’s 25 years old and she’s mature enough to make her own decisions… I was fooled by the girl’s family.’

    Escape: The girl, who is thought to be 15, fled to her home in the village of Al-Hurath in Saudi Arabia’s Jizan province following the marriage

    Despite claiming to be 70, members of the commission said they believe he is 86.

    News of the marriage has caused an outcry on in the internet, with campaigners describing the incident as child prostitution and trafficking.

    Dr. Suhaila Zein al-Abedin, of government-backed group the Saudi National Association for Human Rights, said he was concerned about the marriage’s circumstances, as well as the age difference.

    Finally the Human Rights Commissionb found that the man was 85 years old and the girl only 15 years and he managed to marry the teenage just for sexual pleasure with tricks played with her parents by disguising his actual age.

Leave A Comment