Religious Conversion for Marriage

Summary: The proud Hindu parents and youths need to learn to simply say “NO” to a religious conversion request (Baptism, Bris, Shahadah/Sunat; BBS) for an interfaith marriage involving a Christian, Jew or Muslim. This is a true test to help identify a potential religious fanatic. By saying NO to the BBS request, one will increase chances of a guilt-free and long lasting happy married life even if it is an interfaith marriage.

Proselytism and religious conversion of poor and less fortunate Hindus in India is of major concern to many, however silent religious conversions of most educated and blessed our young adults and their children in the West has not raised eye brows of most.

Thirty eight percent of marriages of Hindus, Jains and Sikhs (Dharmics) in America are to Christians, Jews and Muslims (Abrahamics). Forty five percent of Muslims in America marry to non-Muslims. However, there is a limited tolerance for Hindus and Hindu practices of praying multiple forms of the God in Abrahamics’ exclusivist supremacist monotheist religious beliefs1, 2, 3, 4. For this exact reason they expect conversion by the BBS of the Hindu spouse. It is unbelievable but still true today that many marriages in Christian churches and to a Muslim there is a must requirement for religious conversion of Hindus by Baptism and Shahadah, respectively, to the faith of intended spouse. In some cases, a Christian or Jew may not ask for a religious conversion for marriage but will certainly ask to declare the interfaith child as a Christian by Christening/Baptism or Jew by Bris circumcision (and later Bar Mitzvah) ceremony, respectively.

Considering divorce rate in interfaith marriages is estimated up to 70%, why would a Hindu gives up birth religion for some intolerant Abrahamic? If Mahatma Gandhiji has to rewrite his famous statement today, probably he would say…“Your religion is like your mother. Just because your intended spouse is demanding that you adopt your mother-in-law as your dear mother, you are not going to abandon your birth mother!”

In all most all cases, the Abrahamic love mate will start by telling a Hindu youth that “I don’t care for all these BBS rituals,” “It is only a formality,” and “do it just to please my parents or grandmother” but don’t underestimate the inner desire of this Abrahamic. Don’t be in a wrong impression that the BBS is a hollow ritual devoid of meaning. Further, the religious conversion is not a onetime event; you are setting a new tone for your life. If you feed a shark, it will come back again for more food. Similarly, religious conversion for marriage will be followed by the expectation of a declaration of faith for your children via Baptism, Bris or Sunat. Later, you may be forbidden to practice your own religion so children would not learn and follow it. Also, your spouse or his/her family may not like to be part of a Hindu religious ceremony while at your parent’s home. When your fantasy love period ends and it transformed into a routine married life, then these issues will become sore points in your life.

Consider the BBS as a “tip of iceberg.” Let’s take example of the Bollywood star Sharmila Tagore. She converted to Islam to marry Mansur Ali Khan and changed her name to Begum Ayesha Sultana. All her 3 children have Muslim names and were raised as 100% Muslims. Their son, Saif Ali Khan’s wife, Amrita Singh, had the same fate as Sharmila except later she got talak (divorce). Further, if Kareena Kapoor marries to Saif, probably the same saga will continue. For your daughter (or son), do you wish for the same religious fate like Sharmila? Would you not say “no” to the “unintended” BBS and divert the love Titanic away from a major disaster?

If your doctor tells you that you have a high cholesterol or blood pressure, would you not be concerned about future massive heart attack or stroke? A request for the BBS of a Hindu for marriage should be considered as an alarming sign for a major trouble coming 15 years into your marriage life.

If your intended spouse (or in-laws) is expecting the BBS religious conversion, especially for your children, then you have one of two choices: 1) accept his or her Abrahamic faith and be prepared to give up your birth religion and cultural heritage completely or 2) clarify that you have pride in your birth religion and ask for equality by denying the BBS religious labeling request. Promise only what you mean. A married life based on misleading assurances or lies will have serious consequences later for both. The married life is a long journey; do not start in a wrong direction.

Many times, without realizing long term consequences, Hindu youths may opt to accept a new religion just to please their intended spouse and in-laws. Further, in many cases, the Hindu parents allow Hindu children or grand children to convert to the other religion just to please their in-law. There could be 101 reasons to say “no” to Abrahamic’s proselytism tactics, while there is not one good reason for a proud Dharmic parents to say “wonderful son, go for the BBS” other than parent’s lack of courage to speak out.

These days, most Abrahamics are not religious fanatic, are open minded and thus will not expect the BBS from the intended Hindu spouse. But you want to make sure the one you are dealing with is not an intolerant for what you are. Keep in mind that the “tolerance” and “open mindedness” are not measurable characteristics and could change with the wind. However, the denial of BBS is a simple litmus test to find out the “true color” of the intended spouse. So Hindus youths and parents need to learn to ask a simple question: is there any expectation for the children of this marriage to have Baptism, Bris or Sunat?

Love is often not a planned event. Further, love is said to be blind to religion. If so then why only a Hindu is expected to be blind? Check if it is the love of his or her Abrahamic faith or a love for you comes first. It is Dharmic parents’ responsibility to guide their love-blinded children for equally of both faiths. The BBS has no place in an interfaith marriage with equality.

In many cases, when a Hindu adamantly deny the conversion for marriage and for their progeny; the other party considers and will understand it. When there are other options available, why not ask for it? Bollywood star Rhitik Roshan and Suzanne Khan kept two religions out and got married by a civil wedding, and it is an admirable act. A similar message has been given in Jodhaa Akbar, Gadar and Namastey London movies. If the BBS, which is nothing more than a religious conversion, is an absolute requirement from your potential Abrahamic in-law, why you will want to tolerate some one’s intolerance for what you are? Further, by submitting to the BBS request, you are nurturing and propagating Abrahamic’s intolerance practices against other innocent Hindu youths.

Marriages are made in heaven; however very high percent of interfaith marriages end in divorce. With such a high failure rate, why one would want to give up own birth religion irreversibly? In many cases, a divorce costs lot more than the marriage. The BBS promise will certainly have legal consequences, and after the BBS, Hindu will find difficult to win a child custody case against an Abrahamic. Check with your lawyer and view this video before submitting to the BBS request.

When it comes to college education, Hindu parents will do anything possible to make sure their children have noting but the best. For example, if their son or daughter gives up a high flying medical carrier for a bar tender job and finds a real joy of life, the Hindu parent will sure to give hell till the child changes his or her mind. Similarly, if a Hindu young adult becomes a cocaine addict, the parents will not support it by saying that “we want to see you happy and you decide what ever is right for you.” Contrary to that, when it comes to religious conversion for marriage many Hindu parents have no guts to guide their children or courage to face the Abrahamic in-law. In this Obama’s tolerant America, it is time for a “change.” It is time to say NO to the BBS.

In general Hindu parents are great bargainers when it comes to purchasing a car or a house; why not use the same negotiation skills when your son or daughter selects an Abrahamic interfaith marriage mate? One needs to respectfully deny for conversion by stating that we are Hindus and wish to remain exactly the same after the marriage. More specifically, tell your potential in-laws that we will not tolerate Baptism for a church wedding or Shahadah for Nikaah, the Islamic wedding. Further, proactively tell them that we will not tolerate Baptism, Bris or Sunat religious circumcision label for the grand children, especially when there is no compelling scientific merit to the circumcision. Your tolerant potential in-laws will surely consider your request. At least one should ask just to learn of their “true color.”

If your Hindu daughter found a handsome and well educated Hindu and if that intended spouse later asks for – – $5,000 dowry – – as a pre-condition for the marriage, what would you think of that guy? Probably you may ask your daughter to reconsider her decision with the fear that this junwani (old timer) may bring more troubles later in her life. Similarly, why any one should tolerate if some junwani Abrahamic asks for your – – religious pride as dowry – – for the marriage?

Many parents tolerate the intolerance and accept the thought of religious conversion for their children thinking this is an easy fix to the marital grid-lock. Further, there is no risk to their prestige in the Hindu community since no one will find out. However, time will come when for these proud Hindus, now grandparents, will have a guilt feeling seeing their grand children following a different faith. It will not be pleasant for these proud Hindu grandparents to drive their Abrahamic grand children to a Church or synagogues or Mosque/Madrasas for religious education. This guilt feeling will get worst when time comes to pass your hard earned life estate for the benefit of the believers of the Abrahamic faith. At that time you may wish, instead of this “my way or no ways” BBS deal; the grand children had an option being Hindus.

You may be a Hindu for hundreds of generations. Is your Abrahamic son or daughter in-law worth so much that you are willing to end the Hindu heritage now? Was that the dream you came to the West with?

The BBS is a social evil for interfaith couples. No youth will bring up the talk of BBS in an early dating period with the fear of being labeled an intolerant. To present the BBS demand after years of romantic relationship is an ugly form of proselytism. No honest Abrahamic youth believes in imposing the BBS on their intended interfaith spouse; however they end up doing it because of pressure from their intolerant community and religious institutions. Unfortunately, instead of enjoying the most quality time, the couple has to resolve the BBS issue by uncomfortable discussion just before their marriage. It is hoped that soon there will be an end to the BBS religious conversion practices for interfaith marriages.

Well-informed and well-thought out decisions for selecting a life mate will certainly bring long lasting happiness in a married life, even if it is an interfaith marriage. But most importantly is that one wants to make sure you will have the freedom to follow your traditions and raise your children to do the same without threats to this liberty created by the Abrahamic in-law and his or her religious institutions. One of the most important things a Hindu, Jain, Sikh or Buddhist parents and youths need to do is to pro-actively say “no” to the BBS religious conversion practices of Christians, Jews and Muslims.

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Also read if in relations with a Christian: Hindu-Christian Marriage, Will Gandhi go to Hell since he was not Baptized?, Bible on Hindus?, Idol-Worshippers, I am a Christian mother, I converted without knowledge of my family, I am Christian getting married to a Hindu, Do all Christians go to Heaven?, Ignorent Molly trying to convert a Krishna believer to Christianity ..a video, Namastey London movie…intolerant Christians ..a video, All religions are not same, A Hindu America?, Why I am a Hindu?, A fundamentalist Christian, Why I came back to Hinduism?, Dharma is not the same as religion, Text book on How to convert Hindu Students to Christianity,

Also read if in relationship with a Muslim: Islamic Women Today, Muta, HRS, wife-beating, Muhammad, Hadith, Koran, Inter-race marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu girl/boy, Muslim girl/boy, Christian-Muslim marriages,

View videos: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, All you want to know about the Hindu-Muslim Marriage, Sharia: Hindu-Muslim Marriages,
Also read: Hindu-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim lovers’ experiences, Koran on Hindus?, Love-Jihad, Don’t fake-convert, Polygamy and talaak, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu girl-Muslim boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it?, Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Malaysia in love, Marriage laws.

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23 Responses to “Religious Conversion for Marriage”

  1. Krishna says:

    Hi, i am a hindu and my lover is a christian. His parents will agree for the marriage only if i get converted to christianity. I respect all religions but don’t want to get converted. He says he needs both his parents and me with him. My parents know about our relation and they are already worried. I can’t tell them that I want to get converted to get converted. Please help me to find a solution.

    Reply at http://www.interfaithshaadi.org/blog/?p=11702

  2. Abhimanyu says:

    You guys are unbelievable. I’ll marry whom I love. If she is from another religion and wants to me to embrace her religion I’ll gladly do it for her. That’s what unconditional love means.

    I’m a born Hindu but honestly I find it to be the most fantasy ridden and ridiculous religion with the stories about demon Gods, flying monkeys and ten headed monsters.

    • Admin says:

      Abhimanyu,
      Thank you for expressing yourself. Are you saying the grass is greener on the other side?

      Will you marry a Muslim lover and convert to Islam (that is a MUST) and start praying only (in the direction of) Saudi Arabia and start teaching your children that only Muslims will go to heaven while all Christians, Jews and Buddhists will get Hell Fire? Have you read Koran?

      Alternatively, will you convert to Christianity because that is a MUST and start teaching your children that Mahatma Gandhi will go to hell because he was not baptized? Have you read the Bible?

      Saif Ali Khan’s first wife converted, still she got talaak. Why will you not follow Kareena Kapoor by saying “Saif, no conversion, only love”?

      Instead of the church, why not follow Jesus? What is this religious conversion has to do with your love? When you explore other faiths, then only you will realize liberty and freedom you have in Hinduism to pray God the way you wish. Swami Vivekananda was just like you but still a Hindu!

  3. hari says:

    hi my prob here is me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 years and religion is a problem am a hindu and she is a christian..and her parents are very orthodox what ever happens her parents will not accept me…and she is still forcing me to convert which i dont want to and she does not want to convert because she belives only in jesus …so i really dont know what to please help me…and she wants raise kids only by her ways …

    Reply at http://www.interfaithshaadi.org/blog/?p=5217

    • raperswil says:

      Hari,
      She does not love you. Love is about accepting. Not excluding. Move on. You’ll make this one concession to convert to xtianity, and will have to keep making many others as you go on.

      You must have a sense of self-worth and identity.

  4. agnostic says:

    Amir,

    Your entitled to your beliefs.

    This the entire point of what I was saying. People with beliefs/ thoughts like yours should refrain from falling in love with girls/ boys of a different religion, because you really cannot handle the differences. And even if you do, its a bad idea to move forward with it, as it will lead to unhappiness. Your entire premise is that one path is 100% wrong and 1 path is 100% right. You cannot see the gray between black and white.

    This is the entire goal of this website. To question people’s thoughts to see how/ whether they can deal with their (current) interfaith relationship. To help them realize whether they should go through with it, or break it up.

    I don’t want to go into the details of your comments, as that’s a whole debate in itself, and will lead to a 1000 more messages, which is really not necessary to make my point. But I would say: I don’t think people who are at ease with 2 religions are confused. They are in fact more broad minded and look at things from a holistic and generalized point of view, such that they can easily incorporate both into their belief system.

    Also, just to answer your question:
    You say: “If one doesn’t worship animals and understand it is wrong, how would he let her partner indulge in darkness.
    Just because I am mad and blind to marry someone , I can not allow everything.
    Not possible my dear.”
    – In hinduism, we dont worship animals. We pay respects the soul in every living being, as the soul eventually unites with god, once you fulfill your karma. We believe the soul is divine. That’s the reason for saying “namaste” to every new person.
    We believe god is one, and has presented him/herself to us through different incarnations or souls. And by worshipping the different incarnations, we are experiencing different flavours of gods wonders.
    Hinduism lets you think freely, and isn’t a “book” religion. So there are a 100 interpretations and all can be right. You need to broaden your thinking to experience and understand hinduism.

    • Srinivas says:

      @ Agnostic,

      Both, you and Amir are wrong on this ‘tolerance’. Of course, no Muslim will ever understand what tolerance means in a pluralistic society. But your views with regard to concept of tolerance also are not correct.

      In a pluralistic society, tolerance does not mean respecting other religions. If I am following a religion, then I can not at the same time respect other religions, because it has no meaning. I will give you an example.

      Suppose I am a Hindu girl and want to marry a Christian guy.

      > Me, a Dharmic vs. He, a Abrahamic.

      Satyen is right with regard to Hinduism’s universality.

      If I believe in Santan Dharma of Hinduism, then it is all about God with in me. All Abrahamic faiths are all about a God – a very big God, a powerful God, a very tyrant and a cruel God.

      So, God within ourselves is completely different from an outside God.

      Can I respect both the views simultaneously? To do so I have to believe both of them to be true, which leads to contradiction.

      Tolerance in a pluralistic society means it is about respecting other’s right to hold their own beliefs. Tolerance is not about respecting all religions.

      For the last 2 and 1/2 years, I am begging Hindus to recognize this fact and stop saying ‘they respect all religions’.

      ‘I respect all religions’ has no meaning at all when scrutinized properly.

      A polytheist society is inherently tolerant. People might worship different deities, even if underneath philosophy is same, but they all live peacefully. One might go to Hanuman temple. Another one might go to Vinayak temple. But you do not see each trying to kill (destroy) other (other’s temple).

      It is this nature of Hindu society that made our ancestors to allow intolerant faiths like Christianity and Islam on our beautiful lands. Hindus felt, ‘Oh….they are just worshiping their own God and are no different from us.’

      Now lets check Islamic tolerance:

      Read the following verses:

      Verse 9:29 >>>> Fight against those who
      – believe not in Allah,
      – nor in the Last Day,
      – nor forbid that which has been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger
      – and those who acknowledge not the religion of truth (i.e. Islam) among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians),
      until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.

      Verse 9:33 >>>> It is He Who has sent His Messenger (Muhammad SAW) with guidance and the religion of truth (Islam), to make it superior over all religions even though the Mushrikoon (polytheists, pagans, idolaters, disbelievers in the Oneness of Allah) hate (it).

      Verse 2:193 >>>> And fight them until there is no more Fitnah (disbelief and worshipping of others along with Allah) and (all and every kind of) worship is for Allah (Alone). But if they cease, let there be no transgression except against Az-Zalimoon (the polytheists, and wrong-doers, etc.)

      Lets understand this verse. If Muslims have to fight until worship is only for Allah means mere presence of disbelief in Islam is an aggression on Muslims. An Indian Muslim scholar, (late) Bulandshahrisays : “The worst of sins are Infidelity (Kufr) and Polytheism (shirk) which constitute rebellion against Allah, The Creator. To eradicate these, Muslims are required to wage war until there exists none of it in the world, and the only religion is that of Allah.”

      Every one will understand better when they read what Prophet Moahamaad said:

      Volume 1, Book 2, Number 25: (Bukhari)
      Allah’s Apostle said: “I have been ordered (by Allah) to fight against the people until they testify that none has the right to be worshipped but Allah and that Muhammad is Allah’s Apostle, and offer the prayers perfectly and give the obligatory charity, so if they perform that, then they save their lives and property from me except for Islamic laws and then their reckoning (accounts) will be done by Allah.”

      That is precisely, I say Islam is an intolerant faith and Muslims are intolerant.

      • agnostic says:

        Hi,

        I agree with your definition of tolerance. Although I think it might not be totally practical in an inter faith marriage.

        For people like you and me who have chosen against having an inter faith marriage, we could think like what you said. Although if you have a non hindu spouse, you HAVE to get equal rights from that spouse and also give equal rights. The ONLY way this is possible is to find commonalities between religions, be broad minded, and look at things holistically. And like admin always says, no BBS. I was talking from an inter faith union point of view.

        Taking your example: if a Christian guy marries a Hindu girl, he should recognize that yes, Christianity is relatively new, and Jesus is an excellent example to follow. But there have been numerous other incarnations of god, each with as good teachings, and examples for future generations, such as all of the incarnations of Vishnu and Sai Baba. They can have a common ground where God is one, but forms and incarnations are many. And go to bhajans as well as the mass.

        Otherwise what will the kids do? Realize that mom and dad are forever fighting and listen to whom?

        In all this I am trying to convey that INTER FAITH MARRIAGES REQUIRE A LOT OF BROADMINDEDNESS, AND ARE DIFFICULT. AND CONVERTING YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT AN OPTION. DO IT ONLY IF YOU CAN RESPECT YOUR SPOUSES RELIGION AND CAN INCORPORATE IT INTO YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM.

        Yes, you are again right, that there are usually very few muslims with this kind of tolerance. It’s usually black and white for them. They can’t even think this way. Although I have come across a few. Shah rukh khan and APJ Abdul Kalam are famous examples.

    • Amir says:

      That is what i like.
      Discuss religious beliefs.
      I can not win your heart by saying you are absolutely wrong.
      Neither I can convey my message by saying what you do is correct.

      So best plan would be analyse proofs. what are proofs, these are books.

      You say everything is God. I say everything is made by God.
      So better conclusion can be driven by referances of scriptures.

      A debate over this topic is best solution.

      I know it is not meant for interfaith marriages. But atleast it would give knowledge to those who say that religion is wrong, barbaric etc. etc.

      • admin says:

        Amir,
        You should be a professor of Islamic teachings.

        Unfortunately, couple in love are looking for easy fix and practical solutions. So plan to give as much practical advise. You will not be effective if you say, “do this because it is said in the book”, at least not most today’s lovers.

        • Amir says:

          you mean to say lovers have no respect for religion.
          They only need advices like ‘don’t convert’, ‘respect each other religion’, ‘earn money and leave parents’ .

          It is not insisted to convert blindly. Learn religion then take decision. I comment with that part in mind so that it does not affect life after marriage.
          Learning core of a religion is not very long process. It is very easier and interesting.
          I would say ‘choose correct’ than ‘convert’.

          Respecting each other is base for good relation. But respecting two faith is illusion and hypocrisy. If you believe in two, you believe in none.

          Conclusion is being faithless is not the only way for interfaith marriages.
          Explore common terms, decide what is correct and unite.

          Quran says – Do not marry until believe.

          • Admin says:

            Quran says – Do not marry until believe (in Islam).

            You are an exclusivist believing in “But respecting two faith (or any faith other than YOURS) is illusion and hypocrisy. If you believe in two, you believe in none.” You will not understand the concept of pluralism (read agnostic). We are glad you are not in love with a Hindu, we hope!

          • Srinivas says:

            Double standard and hypocrisy of Islam:

            Verse 5:05 says Muslim men can marry (chaste) women of Judaism and Christianity….

            (….Lawful to you in marriage are chaste women from the believers (i.e. Muslim women) and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time…..)

            (But nowhere Koran tells Muslim women can marry men from other faiths. This itself points to double standard and hypocrisy of Islam.)

            At the same time, this verse is not telling Muslim men that they can marry Hindu women or Sikh women or Buddhist women….

            But there is a catch which I will write only if some one asks…

      • Srinivas says:

        Yes, you are right.

        People should know about Islam before taking any decision and they can learn themselves by reading Koran, Hadith and Sacred Laws, most importantly, how Muslim nations are treating Non-Muslims.

        The best way to learn about Islam is to read the biography of Mohammad like Satyen points out !

        Amir, why don’t we discuss about Islam right here?

        Why engage with people like Admin, Agnostic, Anon and Satyen who do not know much about Islam? (I am not saying it is a crime or an insult.

        You chose the topic – any topic like weird science in Koran, Jihad, Allah’s brothel house called Paradise, Dhimmah, Jizya, Allah’s foundry i.e. hell or even about the proofs of Koran being the book of Allah.

        What do you say, Amir?

        Why showoff with people who have not read about Islam?

        You can even bring an Islamic scholar if you want.

        Prove me Islam is not a fascist ideology and I will never post here again.

      • Srinivas says:

        “You say everything is God. I say everything is made by God.
        So better conclusion can be driven by referances of scriptures.

        A debate over this topic is best solution.”

        Yes, we should. Are you ready?

  5. agnostic says:

    This is a super excellent article! It should go to more venues so that people can read, and be educated.

    • admin says:

      You are the first one to comment on in last two years, thanks. It was very difficult to put thoughts in more logical way and took almost two years to complete this article.

      Abrahamics (Christians and Jews are not different than Muslims), especially in the West, will talk of “we are tolerant and open minded” but those are not measurable qualities. Bottom line question in any marriage with Abrahamic should be “what will be the formal religion of our children” or proactively tell that “NO BBS” and you will have all answers right then.

      • Amir says:

        What is tolerance?
        How a hindu tolerate a muslim,christian etc.
        Please clarify.

        Are you sure hinduism is faultless?
        Are your beliefs regarding your Gods correct?
        Are your principles regarding living a life are correct??

        Thanks.

        • agnostic says:

          replies to your questions:

          What is tolerance?
          Respecting your partners beliefs and not judging them/ commenting derogatory on them. Understanding that it’s a part of his/ her psyche. It can be tolerance of any kind – hindu to muslim, muslim to hindu, christian/jew, or even martian/human if that is possible!

          How a hindu tolerate a muslim,christian etc.
          Please clarify.

          Are you sure hinduism is faultless?
          Noone is commenting on the truth / fault of any religion. If two people of religion X and Y are marrying each other, they should respect and incorporate teachings of both X and Y into their lives, out of respect and love for each other. If this is not possible, it’s not going to be a happy wedding.

          Are your beliefs regarding your Gods correct?
          IT doesn’t matter again. This forum is for 2 people who’s beliefs in god might be different and how they should deal with these differences. The 1st step is not to judge the other person’s beliefs but to respect it, and also maintain your individual identity.

          Are your principles regarding living a life are correct??
          If your having an inter faith marriage, these principles are required for equality and fairness to both parties. If you have strict principles on living a life and cannot tolerate a spouse of a different religion, it is better to not date a girl/ boy of a different religion ever.

          These are meant to educate and alert couples, so they can self decide if they are the right material to deal with the challenges of an inter faith wedding.

          • Amir says:

            Thanks for reply.

            Respecting beliefs is little confusing.

            I have said two opposite things can not be respected simultaneously.
            It is only possible if there are common points which are agreed by both.

            Like a father can not respect his children for being wrong, even knowing it will destroy him.
            Your suggestion is let them as they are without interfere.
            My suggestion is explore common points that can be agreed without problem. It can easily be decided by study and analysis.

            Marrying couple should respect religion of each-other.
            This is impractical.
            It is possible between people with no faith at all.

            If one doesn’t worship animals and understand it is wrong, how would he let her partner indulge in darkness.
            Just because I am mad and blind to marry someone , I can not allow everything.
            Not possible my dear.

            Only a person which has no belief in his religion would do so, who is even confused about what to follow and what to reject.

            Would you teach your children 2+2 is 5, by knowing it is wrong. Never.
            If you really love him you would get to him best knowledge.

            Your answer may be liked by those who have no role of faith in their lives and may be by those who take it just as formality, but it is not strong enough to hold integrity.

            I hoped for the answers rather than ‘It doesn’t matter’.

        • admin says:

          Amir,
          Truly, we have high regards for you because you are honest. Most Muslims in love relationships initially present themselves as pluralists to gain love from the other side and then later show their true color by asking for the BBS.

          To ask for the BBS after years of romantic relationship is sin (in any language or region or religion).

          Interfaith couple should not TOLERATE each other. What is toleration? It is something like…. you smell bad all times, but since you are good otherwise, I will put up with or “tolerate” the bad smell of you. The dating couple have to truly respect each other the way they are. If you are at the stage of “tolerating” or “putting up” with the spouse, don’t marry. Don’t “tolerate” and do a favor to the other party.

          All non-Muslim looking for an interfaith marriage with an equality have to ask two simple questions:
          1) No BBS. Do not get trapped with an intolerant like Aamir Khan.
          2) Come to my religious institution and show “true respect” like SRK does. If a Hindu decline to enter a Mosque, do not marry him/her.

          A true and honest (like you, Amir) Muslim has rights to decline it. If the non-Muslim dater sees any hesitate from the Muslim lover or feels he/she is compromising and willing to “tolerate” you (for a while), stop this relationship right then.

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