Devi says: September 11, 2014 at 4:00 am
Hi there! I was so inspired by this article you wrote. I know my bf for 4 years now. In 6 years time i plan to marry him but i’m already starting to doubt the possibility as i am a hindhu and he is indian-muslim. Could i ask you how did you manage life after marriage? Did your kids have to be muslim or do they get to chose much later in life?
Also do you worry about the afterlife if god will forgive, because my bf is afraid i would have to suffer for this decision. -Devi
Also read: VIDEO: Interfaith Marriage with Equality, Akansha unwillingly converted to Nusrat, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Muslim girl, Hindu boy, Idols, pluralism, SRK-can you do it? Zakir Naik, Christian-Hindu marriages, Jain-Muslim marriages, Sikh-Muslim marriages, Brahmin-Muslim marriages, Hindu-Muslim marriages, Bollywood and Interfaith Marriages.
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Thanks so much for replying so efficiently!
We are both from Singapore, my mum is christian and my dad is Hindu but i have not been baptised (though i read it would be easier to get married if i did). I grew up loving both religions and love it so much.I don’t feel the need to get baptised any time soon either. My bf is muslim.
We are not sure about how to get married in particular. We read about civil marriage but are not too sure how it goes and if it actually makes it less complicated to marry without converting.
Basically my bf feels that if i don’t convert, on judgement day god will punish us for the sin and he does not want to put me through that.
I’m really in a dliemma and am not sure what to do.
Dear Devi,
First, we must congratulate your parents for raising you in line with our video message – interfaith marriage with equality. Let us know your views on the message in this video and your life so far.
We are not here to make decision for you but to make you think for points that you may have missed. This way, in the end, you could make fully “informed” decision for your life, what ever that is.
We feel this is a wrong statement, “on judgement day god will punish us for the sin”. Correct statement should be “on judgment day Allah will punish the Muslim boy for the sin“. You, a Hindu-Christian, have not committed any sin. As a Muslim, he has been in relationship with you (and probably even touched you with romantic intention) not once but for past 3 years. He should have thought about Islamic laws on the first day of your date, not after 3 years of having fun. He has piled a big mount of sin, sorry the Hell Fire is most likely waiting for him. Since you are a Hindu-Christian, on the Judgment Day, Islamic laws do not apply to you; instead Jesus, the Father God and Krishna will decide your fate. By the way, do you believe in this Judgment Day theory?
You have three options:
1) Civil marriage: Read more on Civil weddings in India and Singapore. There is no need for conversion, and is simple. Your civil wedding in Singapore will also be honored in India if you decide to settle there. Just like you were raised in two faiths and loving it, why not have your children the same option? Is he ready for the civil wedding?
2) He converts: Ask him to convert to Hinduism or Christianity and then marry. This way, on the Judgment Day, the decision will fall under the jurisdiction of Jesus/Father God and/or Krishna and your bf will be saved.
3) You convert: Why will you get baptized if you wish to marry a Muslim? Fake-baptism is illogical. Why will you want to insult Jesus by using Baptism as a tool just to marry a Muslim? Don’t make life too complex. Why not you directly convert (Shahadah) to Islam? After that you could have Nikaah with him and raise Muslim children. Let us know what are your reservations for not converting to Islam and raise Muslim children. Thanks.
Hi again! Sorry for the late reply i did not know my response was already replied to.
Firstly, i do understand your point about me not being part of that judgement of sin and also agree with the fact that we have been dating for 3 years while all this time he should have already known about the problems we would face. However, truth is i love him and i plan to marry him. It does affect me knowing he may be suffering in the afterlife because of this decision, no matter how much it is or isn’t my fault. Which is why decisions about this are so hard to make.
Secondly, i have read about civil marriage before, and if i am not wrong, my child once born would have to automatically follow the religion of my husband. Upon birth their religion on the birth certificate would indicate ‘muslim’. I have nothing against this religion, just that i wish for them to choose. I want them to know about my faith too. I should be given that choice.
Converting has not been an option, or at least we don’t want it to be because it is unfair for one of us to be forced to convert while the other does not. It isn’t fair if i ask him to convert to Christianity when he doesn’t ask me to be Muslim. As much as possible we do not want to go down this road.
I also agree with you mentioning me becoming a Christian for the sake of marriage is illogical. I have mentioned this to him before. I guess i would feel alot more comfortable baptising and learning more about Jesus than converting to Islam. I feel that i would not be able to embrace Islam because of my strong roots and upbringing in my own religion. I don’t want to convert and regret everyday or use it against my husband in the future.
Devi,
Nice name! Thanks for reaching us out. We have about 350 other similar cases just like you on this web site and could guide you over years. We are glad you came to us long before your planned marriage. Can you clarify a few points for us to help you? Which country are you from (since you said Indian-Muslim). How are you planning to get married? Hindu as well as Islamic Nikaah wedding? What is his concern about “afterlife if god will forgive” and why it came up now after 3 years into love? What do you mean by “i would have to suffer for this decision”?