A Sikh Girl with a Muslim Guy for 10 Years….
Rajanpreet says: May 7, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Hello guys!I am recently going under huge stress.. as I am in love with a muslim guy who is from Kurdistan originally and I am a punjabi sikh girl. We have been in love with each other for nearly ten years now.. and now the time has come when my family has started to pressure me to get marry. My family is very nice. But in our culture its going to be a big issue if I get marry to a non-sikh + non indian guy. I have not told my family that I am in love with a muslim guy as that might have caused chaos… But now the pressure is unbearable and I dont want to marry anyone else at any cost.. but I dont know how should I tell my family without hurting them…The guy I am with; he briefly got permission to marry me but he is unable to take it further as I am just terrified to tell my family about it… Has anyone have experienced or going through similar situation I would like to hear…thanks…
Admin replied: May 8, 2012 11:02 PM
As you could read on this web site, your case is not any different than many other cases, so learn from Zoya, Prateek, Radha, K, Dee, Madiha, Leona, Singh,….. . It is for sure your parents will get hurt with your news but ultimately they will have to get over it. The most critical for you is to decide what is “good for you” in a long run. You need to make fully “informed” decision, so collect FACTS. For your ever-lasting happy married life (and to please your parents half way), it is important to have a Sikh-Muslim marriage with equality.
You have stated, “he briefly got permission (from Muslim parents) to marry (you).” Is that permission with or without the Shahadah religious conversion of a Sikh to Muslim? Remember the mantra for your long-term success with this planned marriage…. “no BBS” (also read Suma).
Ideally, youths in love should learn of the BBS expection in 10 days of dating, not after wasting 10 years!
From your Muslim boy friend and his family, find answers to these questions:
Q1) How will you get married? Sikh wedding? Islamic Nikaah after Shahadah? Court only marriage? All three?
Q2) What if you adamantly say NO to religious conversion to Islam?
Q3) Do you have to accept a new Muslim first name?
Q4) Are you allowed to bring Guru Grandh Sahib and display Guru Nanak’s photo in your living room (along with a photo of Kaaba)?
Q5) Are the Muslim bf and his parents planning to join you to a Gurudwara and be a part of Sikh religious ceremonies while at your parents home (and you attend his Mosque)?
Q6) Can your first child have a Sikh name (and the second child have an Arabic name)?
Q7) Do your male children have to have a sunat circumcision even there is not sufficient scientific merits?
Q8) Can you teach your child from Guru Granth Sahib as well from the Koran? Will your (future) husband also do the same to educate kids?
Q9) What will you teach your children for… Who is the God? … Are Sikh gurus and Muhammad same, that is, messengers of the God?
Q10) Do you ever have to go under Burka cover?
After collecting all facts, now go to your parents and with open mind. Do not lie to them or hide facts (disclose them if there is a need for Shahadah). Do not get into irrational arguments; instead be objective. Listen carefully for all their concerns and think it over. After a few days, get back to your parents again to answer them back. Try to convince them that your bf is the right person for you and explain them why. Never spoil relationship with your parents, one day you will need them again!
Convince them that he is not a love jihadi, but more like Salman, Seema and Shah Rukh khan (who truly respect their spouse’s religion) and open minded like Shamim, Ayesha, Aamir, and many more. After that, get back to us for more tips. Best wishes.
Akaur says: September 7, 2012 at 9:02 am
Islam transforms hearts. I am not saying this. This is what Muslims say. It makes it callous and unfeeling. Normal people who let themselves become influenced by Islam lose every trace of their humanity. They become capable of killing others, including their own children. Marrying a Muslim has its risks. A Muslim can turn to his or her religion anytime. When that happens, it is as if their soul is snatched out of them and a diabolic entity occupies their body and controls them. You learned your lesson the hard way. I hope those who read your story will think twice before meeting a Muslim man, or even a woman.
Muslims are torn between two forces. On one hand they are humans like all of us and have the same human feelings. They can love, feel nostalgic, have empathy, hope, fear, etc. On the other hand Islam tells them that all these human feelings are attachments and tests that are interposed between them and Allah. It is often the latter that wins. So when a Muslim falls in love, his love can be sincere, but the problem is that once his faith come into play, all that love can vanish.
Readers, how would you define Sikh-Muslim marriage with equality? If Rajanpreet is your sister, what would you recommend to her?