Madhu says: February 3, 2018 at 11:09 pm
I love a pentecostal christian guy and want to marry him. He also wants to marry me but his parents are not accepting our relationship. Still i have not said to my parents because i want his parents should agree first. We both dont know what to do please help us to solve our problems. -Madhu
Madhu says: February 5, 2018 at 4:19 am
I m ready to accept christianity and ready to face any challenges but pls help us so we can convince first his parents?
I have met his parents twice that also when they were not knowing about our relationship his parents want a girl who is born christian.
Madhu says: February 7, 2018 at 9:00 pm
We both are finacially stable to live but we will live with his parents. He will not go against his parents as he loves his parents and me to. He is not able to take decision he cant leave his parents and he does not want to leave me also. I cannot live without him my mental condition is getting worse day by day.
Madhu says: February 7, 2018 at 10:49 pm
I am leaving my relation with him and i will end my life i cannot bear any more mental stress. Thanks but now i dont need any help from you m ending my life. Thanks take care be happy.
Madhu says: February 12, 2018 at 10:54 pm
I cut my hands so many times even I have hurt myself many times for him. I bend down on my knees in front of him asking to keep the relation with me and I beg him for the relation and what he did with me.
Madhu says: February 10, 2018 at 9:57 pm
We left each other but i want to teach him a lesson because when he loved me he did not thought about his parents but when it came to marry me he left me thinking about his parents i want to teach him a lesson.
Madhu says: February 15, 2018 at 10:37 pm
He is a coward who do not have guts to say anything in front of his parents sisters and church. And m regretting that I loved a guy who was a coward.
Madhu says:February 18, 2018
Yes I am still ready to accept Christianity and my children will learn christian only. I am ready to accept what Christianity will teach me.But I cant leave him I am not so strong enough to leave him. -Madhu
Madhu says: March 23, 2018 at 2:53 am
Hi Admin, I m sorry for telling lies I m still alive and I am fine and much happy by leaving that coward. My parents are searching groom for me. I was in a depression but I am all well. I m sorry I told a lie that I have committed sucide. I am not so stupid to commit sucide for a coward. Extremely sorry dear admin. -Madhu
Hi myself Madhu says: April 2, 2018 at 9:17 am
It hurts me sometimes still i cant forget the betrayal given by him. I dont understand why is he behaving so friendly with me as if nothing happened between us? Why he comes and talk to me unnecessarily? Why he asks me so many questions about work when he already know the answer? Why he holds my hand when he takes anything from me? Why is he doing all these things? It is hurting me a lot. I already knew it i wont recover from this pain.
Madhu says: May 9, 2018 at 3:13 am
I changed completely myself for him but all was useless for him at last he blamed everything on me that i was after him he never loved me. he said that i used to force him for going out with me i used to force him to spend time with me everything he blamed on me. he never loved me he just simply made fun of me and my love. I even begged down on his feet many times to marry me and not to leave me but all was in vain. We still work in same company and its very difficult for me to bear him for 8 hrs. And now he is behaving so nicely with me as if there was nothing between us but I dont talk much to him. christians will always be in their family they will not accept you. Its better for you to leave your relation with that guy. Rest is your decision Priya. -Madhu
Hi myself Madhu says: July 13, 2018 at 9:11 am
My x is getting married on 29 oct and he has hide about his marriage in office nobody knows about it by chance i came to know that his marriage has been fixed this news has made me shocked again and when i told him congratulations he got shocked as how come I knew abt this and yesterday he was crying whole day and said sorry to me by touching my feet and he told me that he still loves me and he will love me forever. I am still in pain what to do now. How could he moved on in his life by giving me so much of pain.
Why people get suicidal ideation or get depressed in LOVE?:
i was almost ready to kill myself
saved myself from 3 years long mental depression, suicidal thoughts
I felt like suicide is best option
thoughts of suicide have started cropping up in my mind
I feel suicidal
I really have to die
mera Mann karta h ki suicide kar lun
I wish I was not even born.,…or if God would end my life now
totally emotionally shattered he had attempted suicide also
she attempted sucide by cutting her nerve
if my parents will not agree then we shall both commit suicide
I want to die for that boy
My wife calls me kafir…..I wish I die.
ME bhut depression ME aagya hu kyoki ME uske bina nhi rh skta
we both are going into a depression stage
im in depression
I am so depressed
I’ve suffering from really bad depression
got into depression right after marriage
feeling like ending my life
3 years long mental depression, suicidal thoughts
I was extremengly sad and had become a victim of depression
Doctor gave me the anti depression pill
my mom also led this disgraceful life till she died due to depression caused by my islamist dad
my family thrust me into the deepest state of depression
i am in deep depression
I have suffered through depression
he tried suicidal attempts
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My ex’s wife came to know about our relationship through some other person bit still his engagement is not broken up. I am still suffering. He still says that he will continue loving me after marriage and will always be with me whereever I will go. What to do admin? I cant even tell him that I will not talk to you because i want to show him by doing this if I will tell him i wont talk to you then the very moment I talk to him so i want to show him and make him realize that now I dont need him.How to do I want to show him instead of telling him. his wife knows everything but still she has not called off the engagement.
Leave him alone and move out to a different town. you are obsessed about him, but he is not for you. There are so many wonderful guys out in this world, go find them. They are waiting for you! Best wishes.
I have one question do jesus christ say that u do crime and i will take all the crime on me does jesus teach christians to do crime as much as they can as i m there to take all your crimes. He betrayed me and god is not giving him punishment he is happily moving on in his life.
Go ask to his Pentacostal church priest. Tell him all these honestly and he will explain all to you.
May be I will be mental soon its very difficult for me to forgive him and forget everything and move on so easily as he moved on.
Dear Madhu,
Sorry to see you in pain. It is universal truth that girls/women are more sensitive while the guys are less. Right now your X-lover may have 0% remorse for what he did and enjoying his new life with someone else. Unfortunately this is a reality of life. Those girls are smart to be practical/cautious will flourish while other will pay for their innocence. We hope you are not going back hurting yourself, are you? There are billions other guys out on this world, and many better than your X. The “blind” love is over, now start opening your eyes.
Tell us about your relatives/parents. You never mention about them. How far are they from you?
my relatives stay in different places only me and my parents live separately its very difficult for me to move on as my love was true and how could he move on so easily after hurting me m getting mental he still says that he love me why is he doing all fake things is he a coward.
Ask him to make this statement “he love me” while video recording. Post it on Facebook!
Madhuri, threre are all kind of crooks in this world, it is your choice if you wish to get trapped by them. If not this guy, you will find another later. It’s only you have to change.
My x is getting married on 29 oct and he has hide about his marriage in office nobody knows about it by chance i came to know that his marriage has been fixed this news has made me shocked again and when i told him congratulations he got shocked as how come I knew abt this and yesterday he was crying whole day and said sorry to me by touching my feet and he told me that he still loves me and he will love me forever. I am still in pain what to do now. How could he moved on in his life by giving me so much of pain.
Hi Madhu,
You are in a very difficult situation. He may love you but he loves his religion and parents more than you. For these reasons, we do not see any your future in him. He will keep loving you even after getting married, or even after having children. What he is doing is unethical and immoral. Unfortunately you are weak by mind and he is taking full advantage of your situation. Please look for another person who loves you truly, there are million others in this world. Best wishes.
I know that i have no future with him he is making me fool for how many days he will love me but how could he do this i am still not recovered from the pain he gave me and he is moving on in his life.
Even he is married and have children, still he will keep relationship with you. He will keep exploiting you. If opportunity arises, he will also have (what not!) with you. It’s not his fault, but it is your weakness. If not him, there will be another guy soon in your life to exploit you. You can only change yourself, not others.
Find a different job. Date a life partner recommended by your parents or find someone else for your life. There is just so much beautiful world waiting for you to make your happy; you have to move on with your life. Best wishes.
@Admin…. Extremely sad news and May her soul in Peace.
We couldn’t save her from an evil person.
Yes, Krish, we feel sad for the outcome. We tried hard to lift Madhu’s spirit up and at some point she appeared to be getting strong but not later. We remember out conversation on Feb 25, we wrote it not for you but hoping Madhu will read it. May be it was too late for her.
Hi Admin,
I m sorry for telling lies I m still alive and I am fine and much happy by leaving that coward. My parents are searching groom for me. I was in a depression but I am all well. I m sorry I told a lie that I have committed sucide. I am not so stupid to commit sucide for a coward. Extremely sorry dear admin. This is me Madhu and m Still alive but strong enough.
Hi Madhu,
We are glad you are well and recovering. Are you still open for “I am ready to accept what Christianity will teach me” if he comes back?
On your prank, remember you can get in real trouble for it. In 2001 after 9/11 and anthrax scare, one Indian made up a story that he found anthrax in his office in New York City and was arrested and deported (and probably ruined his life). We tried to assess people who are lying and tried hard to search in Google for suicide news but absolutely no luck; no wonder why. We understand you are going through a lot and thought of doing anything out of frustration. We hope now onwards you will be 100% truthful only, to us and to the world (and no fake-conversion).
Sorry admin for the prank but I realized that you and the people who are very close to me they love me a lot and for one such a coward guy i wont end my life. I am a hindu and will die as a hindu. I dont need him anymore in my life. I am sorry I wont do these pranks next time. Extremely sorry.
Madhu,
As we always said, we love you and wish you to be very successful and happy in life. Assuming you recovered from your sad days, let us give you an assignment to help other innocent people. Can you guide this your young sister for what she should do … https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13432 ?
Madhu,
What was your intention for telling lie? Are you kidding us?.You know we are the peoples are here to save our Hindu girls from evil Muslim and christian missionaries.
Madhu already explained above, so lets rest the case. Madhu, do keep in touch with us and also try to help other sisters based on your life experiences. Thanks.
Yes she told me everything about her love and how she was betrayed how her trust was broken by that guy. But whatever happened we could not save her life.
This is certainly sad to know that educated and a person with very bright future end her life this way for someone not trust worthy. We tried hard with limitations we had but feel bad for the outcome.
How are her parents coping with this pain?
Do you personally know the boy friend (however he has rights to decide what is right for him)?
How is society is handling this news?
What is the lesson other girls in love should learn from Madhu’s experience?
Yes I personally know that boy i feel like giving him a tight slap but what the point she will not come back its been 4 days she passed away her parents still cant believe that she comited sucide. I too myself still dont believe that she took such a crucial step. That XdeletedX took her life away. He will never be in peace.
Thank you for updating us.
On “her parents still cant believe that”, they will never accept that their loving Madhu could ever do that. Even it will be very hard for them to read all these. It is sad that she did not communicate with parents about her issues in life, thought we understand it is difficult to explain such things to parents. We wish God gives them strength to face the reality. Our hearts goes out to them.
On the point “That XX took her life away”, that is true and not true.
No, he is not responsible: There will always be all type of people one comes across in life but it is that person has to decide if you want to fall for it or not. They were in love for a few months but he immediately disclosed it to his parents and based on that he told Madhu that this relationship is not going to work out. Compared to many other cases that we come across, this is relatively a short period to come to realize truth. It is possible they fall in love innocently and not by any hidden agenda. He has rights to decide what is right for his life.
Yes, he is responsible to what happened to Madhu: Many Christians are conservative and many times religious fanatic. Christians are taught that only Jesus saves and all the rest will go to hell on the Judgment Day. They believe Hindus are sinners and must be converted to Christianity (for marriage). If that is what his parents believed and that was probably taught in his church then why he falled in love with Madhu to start with? He should have known his parents. To lure Madhi into relationship and probably had romantic time for a few months. This made Madhu blind in love. Love is not an “on/off” switch that he can now say, “sorry, I changed my mind!” We do not know what promises were made between two of them. When Madhu was willing to do any thing and every thing for him (even convert to Christianity and was begging), he did not want to try to convince his parents for Madhu. This is sad and thus he is guilty for what happened to Madhu.
On “i feel like giving him a tight slap”, yes he should not walk away without paying any price. Such guys need to be taught. E-mail him and his friends this URL (https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13247) and let him realize what he did. He will remember Madhu for his life.
In general, in most love relationships, it is easy for a guy to walk way with some remorse, but the girl walk way with deep scars of that relationship. We wish other girls learn from Madhu and not fall in love with a wrong guy.
We removed that guy’s name because we cannot use this site to defame someone, but you are free to do that you feel appropriate. Sorry, we have limitations.
We are very sad that we could not turn things around for Madhu and talking to you helps us. For our knowledge, let us know if she was in India (this is an international site!)? Can you disclose the state?
Please keep in touch. We feel we failed and feel sad. It helps to get updates from you, thanks.
They both were in relationship from 1 and a half year. actually madhu was recovering from the pain which that boy gave him but unfortunately Madhu came to know that the boy on whom she is trusting a lot wants to leave him and that from 6 months that boy was mentally prepared to leave madhu but he was fooling her that he will not leave her, he loves her. this betrayal she did not digest and she was crying continuously 3 days.
That boy was mentally prepared to leave her from 6 months but he was fooling her that he will never leave her he will marry her he loves him and after making her mental he left her which madhu did not bear. She was crying and she told me that its his wish not to marry me but why he made me fooled from 6 months. This betrayal from his side she did not bear.
Trisha,
Yes, when you are willing to give up every thing for someone and that person turn out to be cheating you for a long time, that will depressed any one. Madhu was very upset and wanted to teach him a lesson. Unfortunately, out of her own pain and agony, she took this step.
Apparently Madhu was well educated and financially stable. Was she? We understood she had a good job and the boy friend was also working very near by. This made it hard. For her to see him all day and not be able to do anything will keep reminding her of her past. We tried to to divert her mind to different direction or tried to boost her morale, but what goes on in front of her eyes will have more impact on her mental status.
What else are you going to do to make that guy realize what he has done to Madhu?
Madhu’s main problem was that if he was mentally prepared why he fooled her and since they were working in same company she was not able to tolerate all this she blindedly trusted him and lost her life. I dont know how to teach that boy a lesson.
Does he know that Madhu is no more here? What is his reaction?
Do any of other common friends know about their relationship? Let them read here what Madhu has gone through. They will talk to him and make him realize what he has done (even unintentionally).
Yes he knows whole office staff knew about their relation whats the point of making him realize she will not come back.
Read all what Madhu wrote on this post. What do you think was wishes of Madhu? Should it be fulfilled?
Should men know what girls go through after a broken love? Or you feel it is not necessary?
It hurts me sometimes still i cant forget the betrayal given by him. I dont understand why is he behaving so friendly with me as if nothing happened between us? Why he comes and talk to me unnecessarily? Why he asks me so many questions about work when he already know the answer? Why he holds my hand when he takes anything from me? Why is he doing all these things? It is hurting me a lot. I already knew it i wont recover from this pain.
Dear Madhu,
This exactly was our concern. Remember, this will go on for years to come. You will fall many times and recover to fall again. He will bring you lots more pain and suffering that you have not experienced yet. He has LUST for you, he desires your body and he will use any number of sweet words to trap you.
Abida said: Innocent and emotional girls sometimes get trapped by whosoever appears to respect them, though this “respect” is false. There are so many anti social elements in the society who are disguised as gentlemen but are conspirator inside.
At your weak point, it is possible that he may take you to bed. You will think it is only one night and you will take shower to wash off all sins, but you will pay huge price in your life. It is possible that this will continue even after your marriage to some other guy. One day, that husband will dump you because of your pre- or extra-marital relationship. At that time, no one will want you. At that time, he may be happily married to a girl of choice of his parents. When he is with his family, he will not want to even recognize you and may tell his wife, “yeh, now I remember, this girl was working in my office” and nothing more. You are nothing but a sex toy for him; when he is satisfied, he will dump you.
A smoker will never give up smoking; even a doctor tells him that now he has lung cancer due to smoking. Likewise, you have an addiction. You will not be able to say NO to him; even you are totally ruined. Our words here have no meaning to you. Prove us wrong!
I am not falling for him but when he do all these things it hurts me a lot due to which m not able to forget him.
Does he do these to all girls? Somehow he feels he owns you and he has rights to touch you. Your silence against his action is an approval from you.
He is just one boy, all other boys in the town will also want to touch you and be romantic with you; will you allow them? Deep inside, it is possible you still wish he accepts you and get married. Your main point to clarify, ask him… are you a mommy’s boy who will marry only a Christian?
He does with me only i feel like slaping him but since we work in same office i cant do this because of we both i cant spoil the environment of office. I try to keep distance from him as much as i can. He is a mommy’s boy who does not have his own mind to think and I dont want a mommy child.
Your actions speak louder than your words. He knows you love him.
How would you react if some stranger hold your hand (with sexual motive) at a bus station? React the same way here. Tell him not to touch you ever and keep distance unless job related. Thought he is not going to listen because he knows you still have a soft corner for him.
Hi Madhu,
Now you are a strong lady and no more has that gullible mind. For this reason, lets discuss issues the next step.
Once you said. “I m ready to accept christianity”. Why? Read this … what Bible has to say for Hindus. Let us know are you ready to teach this to your children? Are you still ready to accept Christianity?
Yes I am still ready to accept Christianity and my children will learn christian only. I am ready to accept what Christianity will teach me.But I cant leave him I am not so strong enough to leave him.
Many converted repent their life after marriage. I have never seen such fluctuate/weak/narrow minded people like you. You should strong as much as you can, one day you are saying I want to team him and next day u r saying read to convert. As per MY EXPERIENCE MOST OF THE MUSLIM AND CHRISTIANS ARE THINKING THAT CONVETING AND LURING A HINDU GIRL IS TOO EASY THAN A MUSLIM AND CHRISITIAN GIRL, becuase you like people forget your won religion, culture, diversity and more over your parents and family. How cowdis you people are? I ashamed THAT YOU ARE A STILL HINDU GIRL. I couldn’t imagine the way you are writing here and begging a bastard christian man. Hindu girls/womens are much more respect than any other culture. I AM SURE YOU WILL REPENT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE IF YOU DONT THINK HUNDRED TIMES. LOOK AT THOSE WHO CONVERTED AND THERI LIFE IN QUORA.
all the best. revert me.
Hi Krish,
Madhu is strong inside, but she is coated outside with lust. Inside she is smart and she knows what is right and wrong but only a temporary situation she appears weak. Mark out words; ultimately Madhu will make her parents proud of what she is. We have high hopes on Madhu to be a role model for other girls. Give her some time to recover from current situation.
Hi this is trisha and I am Madhu’s best frnd m sorry to say that she committed sucide because of the mental depression she was going through. Sorry I am using her id because she had told me everything from how she was going through a mental trauma. I miss her lot may her soul rest in peace.
Hi Trisha,
We are very sad to hear this news. We tried hard to lift her spirit and increase her self-esteem but we have limitations (we do not know if this is a real name or from which country she is). We thought she is taking control of her life and getting better (read https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13247#comment-415621) but unfortunately not. It must be very hard on her parents and good friends like you. Again, we really feel bad for not able to save one wonderful person.
Hi Trisha,
On “she had told me everything”, did she told you about her love with someone? What else she mentioned to you that you did not knew from this post?
you can change my name and write whatever you want. Will you pls tell me that I am ignoring him from three days and since then ownwards he is continuing staring at him yesterday during lunch time he came to my desk and stared at me continuously for 5 min and he wanted to tell something but did not utter a word and after that I went to give him some papers that too he did not took he just stared at me i gave him a hint to take the paper without talking to him but still he stared at me I just kept the paper and then went during tea time also he was staring at me even lunch time also when I start eating that time he started eating. I came to office at 12 pm yesterday he called on my phone with landline number twice but did not utter a word. I want to know that If he does not love me then Why is he doing all these things? what he want to know? Pls tell me are these sign is of love? when I dont come to office my seniors dont call me they are not worrying but why is he doing all these things this happened twice. Pls tell me are these signs is of love or what?
To your question, “Pls tell me are these sign is of love? “, no, this is a sign of LUST. He desires you and he wants to enjoy your body. However, he is not ready to sacrifice 1% for you. For him, his parents are more than you. He is a mummy boy! Start calling him “mommy’s boy” and ignore him. Unless he is serious about you and willing to marry you as a “Hindu”, we do not see any your future with him.
We know you are also in “love” with him and thus you are weak. He will take advantage of your weakness.
Focus on your job. Don’t loose your job for him, he is not worth it. Start dating someone else or even lie to him that you are going to marry a guy suggested by your parents. Let him get jealous about you. Let him come begging you and come to your feel. Be powerful. Live with dignity and pride.
Thank you your suggestion are helping me a lot today what happened I switched off the Ac so after an hour he told to switch on the ac because all the direct buttons of electricity are near my table only so within a few minutes the room got cold so immediately I wore my jacket and when he saw that I have wore a Jacket he switched off the Ac with the remote and from then he has not turned on the AC. He sweats a lot he cannot live without AC. Pls give me some idea I am ignoring him as much as I can do but want him to come back in my life and to accept me forever.
First you have to be in good share to win someone’s respect. Are you still cutting yourself? If he dumps you, are you again going to go back to your old routine? Believe us, he is not worth killing yourself. When you feel strong about you and are proud of what you are, then only things will get better.
His church will never allow a Hindu to marry a Christian. They will create lots of trouble for you, that the guy is not ready to face them.
Have you talked to your parents about converting? Are you in good terms with your parents? Are they close by or far away?
How are you doing in your job? Are you successful or failing?
I am not hurting myself for him anymore. Today he got jealous when he saw talking me to a chineese guy. I dont want to marry him anymore but I want him to beg in the same way as I was begging for him. Thats it I want him to realize the pain which I have suffered and want him to com to me and say this that I want you to come back in my life.
There is no church in the world who do not give baptism I have seen many of them ad I even talked to many christian fellow that if I want to convert into christian whether the church will give me baptism or not every one said that they will give. It was all his excuses that he does not want to marry me. Now my only motive is to make him understand his mistakes.
He is a coward who do not have guts to say anything in front of his parents sisters and church. And m regretting that I loved a guy who was a coward.
Bravo!!
You are a woman, you are powerful, you will live rest of life with dignity and pride. You will not take any shit for what you are any more.
Go meet as many boys as you can. Even go out for coffee with many. Meeting does not mean getting emotional involved and definitely not physically. Always maintain your self respect. More guys you meet, you will realize that there is nothing special that the first boy friend has that others don’t. Ultimately you will come across a right guy who is just perfect for you; meaning the guy is willing to nurture you and grow you the way you are. Marry that guy!
At some point, like a business meeting, also meet your former lover for coffee. Tell him what he wants to do with your old relationship. Is he willing to stand firm with his parents to protect you? Also tell him that you are a “Hindu” and will die as a Hindu. Is your church tolerant of what you are? If not, tell him and his church to go to hell and walk out for the last time.
Don’t be submissive any more. You are a new empowered woman. Best wishes.
I dont talk to him and I dont feel like talking to him anymore thats why I dont even see him.
See i dont want any man in my life that time will decide but before that i want to teach him a good lesson will u help me in sending him emails and even to tell him that he had done wrong with me without telling my name and even dont show to him my msg. His name is (xxxdeletedX) if u want to help him u have to write an email to him that what he has done to agir who loved him so deeply
There is nothing going to be done overnight. First you be firm in your minds. Read https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13247#comment-415660 . Go meet all other guys and make him feel jealous. If you find a better guy, don’t think back about him, go for it.
Hi Madhu,
We feel you need to come out of your sad life and start enjoying this wonderful world fully. Yes, you got stuck with a bad element of our society but now you should feel freedom from him. We wish you narrate your experience fully, in separate sections.
To start with, tell us how was your life in last 10 days? What went to your mind? How frustrated you were? Why you thought of ending your life? Write as you feel (use your heart to write). This will help other innocent girls to know how bad interfaith marriage could be. Thanks.
Atlast what happened he left me so i want him to feel the same pain as I have felt and want him to come back and say sorry to me and even say that i want you in my life again.
I cut my hands so many times even I have hurt myself many times for him. I bend down on my knees in front of him asking to keep the relation with me and I beg him for the relation and what he did with me. I dont want to narrate my story but I want him to feel the same pain as I have suffered and want him to come back to me and say sorry and want him to say that he wants me to come back in his life again. Its not a revenge but I want him to feel this. please give me some ideas.
You have to know that it was a trap for you. He was not sincere and was just out having fun with you. Even you marry this guy, he will make your married life miserable because he is a mommy’s boy. He will dance at tunes of his mother, and not you. For such cheaters, why will you cut yourself. Sometimes, what ever happened happened for good! Probably there is a good reason this relationship ended soon, may be God has something better planned for you.
Why will you cut yourself. See Ma Durga, like Her, you are powerful and divine. Why will you make yourself go down to floor for such lier? What will you gain by cutting yourself? It shows only your weakness for your inability to handle the situation. Get out of your home and go enjoy the nature. Go out and meet all your other trust worthy friends and have fun with them. Do not stay alone at home. Life is not worth wasting like this. You have very bright life waiting for you if you forget him and start focusing on the rest of world.
He will only smile if he learns that you cut yourself for himself. He will think that you are a stupid girl, you will not gain any respect. If cutting is the way to gain respect, why people don’t go around cutting themselves. He will learn that you are a girl of weak mind and a sure reason not to associate with you. He may ever fear you will cut him someday, out of love-rage. This is not the way to handle the life.
Where you learned that cutting is a way to express love? How many times your mother cut herself for you? Will you cut for your mother? How many time Mahatma Gandhi cut himself to show his love for the country? Now you are not going to handle your life this way, now come out of this current situation.
How is your job doing? Are you happy with your work? Do you have good friends? What else you did to have fun in life (before you met him), movies, vacations, food, family,…? How far are your parents? Do you think your parents love you?
Madhu, rise from the ditch. A fun filled and rewarding life is waiting for you!
We left each other but i want to teach him a lesson because when he loved me he did not thought about his parents but when it came to marry me he left me thinking about his parents i want to teach him a lesson.
Hi Madhu,
This is a common issue “when he loved me he did not thought about his parents“. Actually he knew exactly what is going to happen in the end, but fooled you all along. Many boys (most?) are out to have fun and romantic time with girls, free fun without responsibility. In colleges and work places there are no boundaries and thus youths feel World is flat (meaning we are all same), but in reality, we are not same. This is the reason for all pain you are going through.
The first day he met you, knew very well that you are a Hindu and his Pentecostal church will want to convert you to Christianity for marriage. He was raised with his Christian parents and he should have known his parents expectations. Inspire of all these, he never uttered a word that there will be issues getting married. When time came to marriage, he simply walk out of this relationship by saying my parents are saying NO. Shame on him! We fully agree that he should be punished about his lies and deceptions. The question is how?
How will you punish him? If you do any thing to hurt you physically or mentally (like you have been going through), that is the last thing you want to do. It does not impact him, not even 1%. He does not care at all if you die or cut your hands. Now he has nothing to do with you, you are less than a street dog for him. So, now think of hurting him where it matters without hurting yourself. You must stay strong and forceful (but respectful). There is no reason to act immediately, but you can do things to hurt him over years. Sometimes, the best way to hurt such guys is not weapons but pen. Like Ma Durga (we just updated the photo above), you be calm and compose but strong. Show your woman-power! Do you want to go public with your story and tell the world things as is? To start with, narrate your full story before you met him, the first day you met, all lies he told you and who it ended. Summarize it all right here like a movie story. Be an author and then send him the URL to read. We can also line you up with a few reporters. Go public!
In rape, a guy force the girl against her wishes. In dating, the guy gets more than rape by simple lies and deception and still get away without any punishment.
In general, it is the girl to loose more by failed dating and in interfaith marriages. This is the message you should give to all rest of girls who are dating today. If you were a victim and could not save you, but you have responsibility to save all other innocent girls who are dating today without realizing what is on their way. Are you ready to help your younger sisters in this World? If yes we are willing to help you.
Please read the book we wrote about the same issue and all messages given. We hope to work with you to make this world a better place to live for all. Let us know what is next, thanks.
DearAdmin,
With all due respect, I cant believe that you are suggesting someone to take revenge. Frankly, I discussed with you my matter thinking that you will suggest or help me with what you are trying to do to Madhuji and I really appreciate that. But when it got to the injustice being done to a guy (me) you suggested me to do nothing and wait. Why such double standards brother? I understand Madhuji is going through bad time but the best way as it was a relation which ended up being unsuccessful that doesnt mean one should take revenge for that and primarily they got in relationship mutually nobody forced eachother. So I believe ideally in her case let the time play its role. Sorry no offence just mh opinion as this is an open platform. Thank you
I am not taking a revenge from him I just want him to realize what pain I have suffered from 8 months I became mad i hurted myself many times we were in a relationship mutually so Why he broke the relationship simply by saying that his parents wont agree? He knew his parents well so why from day 1 he told me that he will marry me? I even told him that do your parents will agree to our relationship why did not he say anything at that time he just told me that I will convince my parents as I am their only son no matter whatever the situation will be I will not leave you. Why did he do all these things? I just want him to realize What pain is? Being a girl I bend down on his knees without thinking that I am a girl I too have a self respect of my own.
Akash,
You are making lot of sense. Yes, revenge is not good but at the same time he should be taught not to get in love and then carry on lies and deception to trap this innocent girl. We never said revenge means take gun and kill but take rational steps to make him understand his mistake.
Madhu,
By begging, submitting to convert and bowing down to him is not a way to gain respect from a guy. Like Ma Durga and as a powerful woman, maintain your pride and dignity. Be respectful but not be his slave.
At the same token, he has right not to marry you for any and all reasons. If he don’t care, why do you? As hard it may be, start ignoring him and you will realize that all of a sudden he will start begging you. So, live your life with dignity and pride, always.
Madhuji,
I respect your love and feelings. But rather than going round and round I will suggest only one thing “Let the time play its role.” And about teaching a lesson you need 2 fingers to snap. If you ll do then he ll do n the circle will go on. So think…Love is not about taking revenge thats what I believe.
Dear Admin,
I ask for your help. If you can by any means help me solve my issue and get me my wife back from her parents house as ahe is on house arrest and they are manupulating her every now and then. It ll be real help. Thank you.
Akash, see https://interfaithshaadi.org/?p=13221&cpage=1#comment-415658
My life is over m finishing my life.
Hi Madhu,
We understand that you got stuck with one bad guy you who cheated you and fooled you. He did not disclose all facts for years and thus you feel this way today. Why would you think of ending your life for one bad guy when everyone else cares you?
You mother raised you, dressed you up for your school days, parents spend life saving for your education and now you have good job. Why will you punish these parents and employer by taking you away from them?
There are so many people in this world who do not have job or education what you have, many don’t have loving parents that you have or even many don’t have food to eat at the end of day. When you are so blessed, why will you not learn to appreciate what God has given you?
You come across many good people and friends in life and probably they would love to associate with you it again and again. Why will you deprive them of your association again?
We are certain there is a right guy (husband) waiting for you somewhere, who will truly love you and hold your hands for next 80 years to come. Why will you not give 2 months to get over current your mental situation and then explore a bright life that is waiting for you?
Only coward will think of suicide. We are confident you will never think this way. A very bright life is waiting for you, just hang on with us for a few more days. We love you!
Dear Madhu,
We are concerned and wish to hear from you. This guy is not worth giving up your life. There are so many people in this world who loves you; like your parents, relatives and friends. Every one makes mistake; get over it. There is a bright life waiting for you. Get back to us.
I am leaving my relation with him and i will end my life i cannot bear any more mental stress. Thanks but now i dont need any help from you m ending my life. Thanks take care be happy.
We both are finacially stable to live but we will live with his parents. He will not go against his parents as he loves his parents and me to. He is not able to take decision he cant leave his parents and he does not want to leave me also.
I cannot live without him my mental condition is getting worse day by day.
Hi Madhu,
We understand you situation. We understand your love is true. Unfortunately, for him, he is willing to go for you only half way. For his parents, we do not know but he may come to you and may say “sorry” and will wish the relationship to end. Lets hope that is not the situation.
Tell his parents that you will be even better than a born Christian. You may try to convince his parents but it is less chance that it will be done over a month period. Further, if he is not committed for you, it will be even harder for you to convince his parents. It is him who should talk to his parents, not you.
On “my mental condition is getting worse”, you have to somehow learn to stay composed and objective. If not, you will ruin your life for nothing. Write down your issues on a piece of paper and see what can you do today. If not much, just go out with you best girl friend and share your pain with her. Find a shoulder to cry! We love you and wish you happy in your life. Stay in touch.
I think so you dont have any answer regarding my question.
Hi Madhu,
We have changed your name for your privacy, we hope that is okay.
Basically Pentecostal parents will simply say–we want a church wedding. That means you will have to convert to Christianity and agree to raise your children Christian only. In some Indian states, it is difficult for a Hindu to convert to Christianity because the conversion has to be documented and approved by some government official. Question for you is–are you ready to convert to Christianity (meaning 0% Hinduism)?
In India, you can marry by the Hindu marriage act, the christian marriage act or the Special Marriage Act 1954. It is best for you to marry by the Special marriage act and thus you do not have to convert. Is your boy friend ready for it? Are his parents ready for it? After marriage, where will you live, with the Christian family? Please get back and we will discuss more, thanks.
If you can afford Rs.270, please purchase our book and it will give you full picture on what to do and not. All those information are also there on this web site too.
Please view our recent presentation https://www.facebook.com/InterfaithShaadi/videos/1153068181494908/
I m ready to accept christianity and ready to face any challenges but pls help us so we can convince first his parents then my parents too.
Tell us what are his parent’s concerns? Have you met them?
I have met his parents twice that also when they were not knowing about our relationship his parents want a girl who is born christian.
Where will you stay after marriage?
Are you two financially stable to live on your own after the marriage?
Is he willing to go against his parents? Is he a mommy’s boy?
How much he is ready to fight for you and your happiness, if parents comes in between your love?